How do you spell Christmas?

In our house we spell it C H R I S T.

Joshua 24:15
"If it is displeasing to you to serve the LORD, choose today whom you will serve, ... As for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”

Adoption - A story behind the story

This article was shared with J & I be an awesome "Therapeutic Mom".  If you are wondering what in the world is a Therapeutic Mom, when sorry, but that will have to be a post for another time.  Try searching google, for "therapeutic parenting".   Anyway, as we are adjusting to life as a bigger family, and trying to get "into" school. We are faced with some challenges.  Quite honestly, we don't know what the solution is or where the road we are no on is taking us.  We have one of two "leads" to follow up on, so we are not without Hope yet.  Its unlikely to be a friendly and fun journey either, heck not that it has been thus far.  I know that I found this article to be particularly.... interesting.  It doesn't offer tools, or solutions.  But it does put into light some perspectives that Adoptive Parents have a very difficult time trying to share with family and friends.

http://nysccc.org/adoption/realities-of-adoption/

Good Things. A Fathers story of Referral

(please press stop/pause on the music player at the bottom, and click play on the youtube video in this post)

Perhaps the most asked question of adoptive parents is "Why". Why Adoption. Why this sex (of a child). Why this age. Why this race. Why this county. Why now (why not wait). Why now (are you ready for this). Why another child (do you have more than you can handle now). Why this special need (are you sure you want to do this, or can handle this). Why this child. Why Not <fill in the blank with some well intentioned but ultimately hurtful alternative suggestion>

Say I can say words only simple
Say I can say words only clear
But oh I can feel your heart is beating near

Good Questions. Difficult answers. Answers that often change over time. Surely the answers J & I provide to some of these have changed since we brought E1 home in 2005.

With the official referral of #4 on Monday, we find ourselves answering these questions again. After Mass this morning, I contemplated the Homily. I thought about the topic of "Love". The unconditional "Love" our Lord has for us. The type of "Love" that St. Paul had to succumb to, to become the "Rock". The type of holistic, agape "Love", which is quite different from the personal "Love" many of us have for each other. The type of "Love" we should strive for, and if we can achieve.. Well. Good Things. Good Things...

Give I can give love and attention
Give I can give all time away
Only to one heart I can give today

During this reflection, I thought of those "Why" questions. I thought of #4. (G as I like to call her sometimes). I thought of what we know, what we learned, and what we can guess about "her story". I thought of K's story. About what she's been through before coming into our family, and what she's been through since. I thought of how (perhaps to often) I treat her unfairly in comparison to the boys. (Note: I am big enough to know and admit to myself though. That I'm human. I'm a work in progress. So I know part of "my story" is to rise above the hurdles and roadblocks that stand in or are put into my path that lead to greater harmony with K. Personally and within the family. She's worth it. Our family, needs it. I need it). I was sad thinking about what our girls had endured. I was saddened by what they might have had to endure had they not come into our family.

Haunted love is all that I feel
When you're passing by
Haunted love is all that I see
It's there in your eyes

Now STOP that thought. I'm not suggesting or insulating that J & I are riding in on some type of White horse to save the day, to rescue them, to be some type of savior or salvation for them. Quite contrary. I am not complete. I am broken. A puzzle with missing pieces. These blessed children of ours, are as much (probably more) a piece of me, as I am to them. They fill holes that I cannot fill. That J cannot fill. They come from God, to help heal whats broken and missing in me. So I will say it again. I am saddened when I think of what they have already endured. I am saddened when I think of what they might have had to endure had they not come into our family.

And I say
No no no don't pass me over
No no no don't pass me by
See I can see good things for you and I
Yeah good things for you

Lets be honest. I don't know where this is all going, or how it will all end up. I know it appears I work to much, and I sleep to little. I know we (as a family) are still working on being a harmonious, loving, caring, family. I know its been less than 1 year since K came home. I don't know if we'll ever rise above an overcome the challenges with K. I don't know if we're ready for or capable of overcoming the challenges we will face with N coming into our family. "And I tell you, ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; Knock and the door will be opened to you. Luke 11:9".

Be I can be man full of color
Be I can be man black or white
Only to one heart I can be tonight

But I can say this. J & I trust each other. We might fight and argue. We might not get out for enough of "us" time. We don't share enough of "ourselves" with and often fall short of looking for support from our family, friends, and WWME community. But we trust each other. Without speaking the words, we know we've got each others backs. We know when its a tough wade through the sludge, the other can pick us up. We trust in our faith. We trust in our Lord. "I know God won't give me more than I can handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much." -- Mother Teresa. We believe, without doubt, without question, that we are making the right choice. We may not (yet) know how we are going to get through it all, but we know that we will. We may not know what we will look like when we get there, but we know that we will, get there.

The Lord has blessed J and I with an unusual course through Life. A course that has been, and surely will be at times frustrating, confusing, and humbling. But a course that has already yielded indescribable Joy. A course that J and I are ..still.. anxious and excited about. A course that is deeply personal for us, but one that we hope you will share with us. The Lord is at work here. And when the Lord works, Well ...

Good Things
Good Things
Only Good Things
Good Things

Peace

Daily Intentions..

We have a prayer chain at our church. We get emails for those in need of prayer. For thanksgiving and for petitions. Included today was this prayer from St. Teresa. I just really though it was moving. So I wanted to share..

"O my God, fill my soul with holy joy, courage and strength to serve You. Enkindle Your love in me and then walk with me along the next stretch of road before me. I do not see very far ahead, but when I have arrived where the horizon now closes down, a new prospect will open before me, and I shall meet it with peace." - Saint Teresa Benedicta of the Cross

Peace

A day in a life... Hallelujah

Its just a day. Like any other day. Maybe Sunny. Maybe Cloudy. Bright blue Skies. Or Dark Overcast. It can come upon you quickly. It can pass you by just as fast.

On some days, for some people, a rope may go flying by. And for some people, they are fortunate enough to grab onto that rope. Lord knows where it will take you. Or if you will ever return. You hang on tight. It may jerk and whip. You just hang on tight. And for some, life is changed. Changed for two. Forever. Bless the Lord, two changed forever.

Hallelujah in a college dorm hall.

Hallelujah years later in a letter and call.

Hallelujah in Scotland, and that was all

Your faith was strong but you needed proof . . .

Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you . . .

And from your lips she drew the hallelujah . . .

..Happy 12th Anniversary J..

May the Lord Bless us with the Strength,

Courage, and Grace for countless more.

(thanks for putting up with, and sticking with me)

I Love you. T

We are called...

There is a song by Jars of Clay "Take my world apart" that also sums up quite well the same meaning (at least for me) that is within the message of today's first reading. But for my own take on it...

Lord I've given up all my pride (at least as best as I know how). I've opened my heart (at best as I am able). I'm raw and exposed, lifting my hands up to you. In thanks, and in petition. Speak Lord (in way that these human ears and eyes can understand) for your servant is listening. Is it time? It the cup filled yet, such that it might be poured out according to your will.. I feel that I am ready..

Today's Reading of the day is ...

1 Cor 1:26-31

Consider your own calling, brothers and sisters.
Not many of you were wise by human standards,
not many were powerful,
not many were of noble birth.
Rather, God chose the foolish of the world to shame the wise,
and God chose the weak of the world to shame the strong,
and God chose the lowly and despised of the world,
those who count for nothing,
to reduce to nothing those who are something,
so that no human being might boast before God.
It is due to him that you are in Christ Jesus,
who became for us wisdom from God,
as well as righteousness, sanctification, and redemption,
so that, as it is written,
Whoever boasts, should boast in the Lord.

May the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way...

Overcoming All Odds

Sometimes you get athe perfect message at the perfect time. God Bless you Es!

Overcoming All Odds
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 1 by Os Hillman
Thursday, August 19 2010

..."Because you have prayed to Me...." Isaiah 37:21
Have you ever had your back against the wall so badly that if something didn't happen to change your situation, you were sunk? King Hezekiah was one of Israel's greatest godly kings. One of the greatest challenges to his reign came when the king of Assyria threatened to attack Israel and wipe them out. The Assyrians were the local bullies of the region and had wiped out all other enemies in their region.
They mocked the idea of having a God who could save them.
Do not let Hezekiah deceive you. He cannot deliver you! Do not let Hezekiah persuade you to trust in the Lord when he says, "The Lord will surely deliver us; this city will not be given into the hand of the king of Assyria" (Isaiah 36:14b-15).
The workplace is full of "Assyrian kings" who mock the idea of a living God who delivers. Without God's help, Israel would not overcome. Their backs were against the wall. They would be destroyed.
King Hezekiah saved Israel because of one act. He prayed; and because he prayed, God moved on his behalf. In fact, God moved so powerfully that Hezekiah did not even have to fight the battle.
Then the angel of the Lord went out and put to death a hundred and eighty-five thousand men in the Assyrian camp. When the people got up the next morning, there were all the dead bodies! (Isaiah 37:36)
The king of Assyria was even murdered by his own sons. Imagine seeing your enemy totally destroyed without one hand raised in battle!
God wants to act on behalf of His children if they will call on Him. One of the motives Hezekiah had in seeking God's help was "so that all kingdoms on earth may know that You alone, O Lord, are God" (Is. 37:20). This is what happened. God was glorified.
God wants to let your workplace know that God is a living God. He can deliver. Seek Him today for the crisis in your life. Keep your motive pure and God will surely answer.
 

Life and Lemonade. Who's got the spoon?

It hot, muggy, (at least to me) downright miserable around here lately. What better way to cool off, than a nice cold glass of lemonade. Heck, whats the saying.. "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade!"

Got more lemons than I care to have at the moment. Its about time for some mixing...

Who's got the spoon?

Serenity Now. Serenity Now.

God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

And while we're at it. I pray...
Today, Bless me with your Grace so that I only see your plan for our family, and not the frustration and anger in my heart.

Prayers are needed for our friends in Guatemala and Central America

I have heard about a Tropical Storm Agatha. But shame on me I've been to busy to pay closer attention. Its wreaking havoc on Guatemala, which of course is a country J and I hold very dear to our hearts.

The size of this sink hole. Its seems unreal. How can it be real, but it is. Please prayer for four Central American Brothers and Sisters.

Massive sinkhole swallows building in Guatemala City in wake of Tropical Storm Agatha

Daily Reflections (for the day)

Most days, if I am all together "with it", I'll read the Daily Readings online. I would then follow that up with reading some reflections upon those readings. Within these reflections, there is usually a prayer for the day to tie the reflections and the readings together.

Today, this Prayer, just seemed particularly relevant given the position J & I are in, with regards to the adoption of K. This prayer reflection is based upon Romans 8:28.

"Father, I believe that You will make all the aspects of my life work together for the good, even those not caused by You"

As J & I wait and wait and wait.. and struggle to find reason or justification or something positive in all this waiting, a small reminder that everything is a part of a plan, one that we may never understand, helps to keep us grounded spiritually.

Hope you have a great day (Hey St. Patricks Day I guess)
Peace

Time Capsule (well sort of)

(name of the kids removed)

I sometimes thing that when I remodel these rooms I should wall up some trinkets or newspapers or something as a time capsule. While I think about it, I don't ever follow through. As I was preparing to cover up the concrete floor, in prep for the new floor in the basement, I had an idea. A time capsule or sorts, but also a little praise, a little prayer, and message for the kids. Since J and I are working on the basement for them. So I grabbed some of the big, fat kids chalk and did a time capsule "Ted Style"...

Its just one of those things..

You get a commercial jingle stuck in your head. Maybe something your heard on the radio, on the mp3 players. Sometimes its just flat out annoying that you can't seem to get it out of your head.

As I listen to the local Holiday station, I'm just mesmerized by that Trans-Siberian Orchestra song, "Christmas Canon". I don't normally post about the same thing so close together, but as I'm working tonight, its on the radio again. My head just fills with such a variety of things. I would say Good, Bad, and others but that's just not quite accurate.

I would like to leave something deeply profound about the topic, but I'll just say this. Lately when I hear that song, I'm just filled with hope, but also regret over my own personal missed opportunities to effect change, but also thanksgiving at being healthy and having more time and inevitably more opportunities to bring about change. Hmm.. sounds like "Christmas Story" like... not really intended though..

This night, we pray
Our Lives, will show
This dream, he had
Each child, still knows

Peace

Honey how was your day? Its wasnt so Good..

Traffic was bad.. they were out of my favorite Latte.. Someone cut me off.. that Guy/Gal at work was a pain.. I didn't get enough sleep.. that nagging cough is back.. My blackberry flaked out.. Gas prices jumped $0.25.. I was cold.. Some jerk bought the last snickers bar from the vending machine while i was waiting to get it.. The kids were fighting over watching Sponge Bob or Elmo.. the cat puked on the carpet.. the pile of leaves blew all over the lawn.. its snowed again so I have to shovel again.. My health insurance went up during open enrollment.. On black Friday i got shoved out of the way before I could grab the last Nintendo wii

We can all come up with a limitless number of other things to that list. They are all legitimate. They all impact us. Some greater, some only a little. In our world, those are the things, that make or break our days. We all deal. We all cope. But sometimes, at least I feel, we need an adjustment. We need a reminder about how to put it all into context. I'm not suggesting or advocating radical lifestyle changes here, rather, just trying to present a case for compassion. For a moment of understanding or empathy. A moment to pause, if only for one brief second, to step aside from those very real things listed above that impact our days. And to look beyond the walls of our homes.. our cities.. and our Country.

I had my reminder today (Thanks for sharing J!). I'd like to share it with you all. Perhaps you will also have a second to pause as well. If we think about changing the entire World, its overwhelming, to the point of why bothering. But if you think about that story about the little girl on the beach with her father. The story goes something like...

A Father and daughter were walking on the beach. The beach was filled with starfish that washed ashore from a storm. They would all surely die, being outside the water. The father watched as the daughter picked up a starfish, and walked up to the water and carefully placed it back in. She did this over and over and over. The Father, while filled with Pride for his daughter, comments. Honey. Why are you doing that? You are not going to make a difference, look at all those starfish. They are everywhere (as he motions to the thousands of starfish across the beach) As the Daughter picked up another starfish, carries it to the waters edge and places it into the water, the Daughter replies. "It made a difference to that one"

Amen I say to that. That's what I'm talking about. We can change the World. We can change it with each little baby step we take. I hope that following, First hand account of a Gentleman that recently returned from Western Africa, give you a moment of pause.

Today was full of emotional highs and lows. We started the day by going to an Orphanage. We had been warned it was bad. We had even seen some pictures. Pictures nor warning could have prepared us for what we saw. As you drive down a dirt side street there is a big green gate on the left. We stopped in front of it, stepped over the street side latrine and went thru the gate. When we went in there were several kids running around the path leading into the office area. There were no adults until we got to the office. All of the kids were curious to see what these people were doing there We visited with the 2 women who run the orphanage. There were probably 35-40 kids at the orphanage, 10-12 were under the age of 2. The remaining 65-70 were in school. We walked into the “nursery”, a large room with 10 or so bunk beds. Most of the kids under 2 were either sleeping or sitting in their bed crying. Few were able to walk at this age due to malnutrition. The girl I held stopped crying the minute I touched her. I held her and she snuggled in for a hug. She was probably 12 months and weighed at most 7 lbs. My wife noticed that the little girl I was holding was covered in feces, as was I now. For some reason it did not matter at that point. I gave her to one of the teenage girls who went to clean her up. I went and cleaned myself up and could not believe what I was seeing. How can 2 women, care for 10-12 infants, and 90+ other children? The answer is no one was getting cared for. At age 15-16 the kids are turned out to the street. So if they are lucky enough to survive no care as infants they will be homeless as teenagers. The bad part of this story is this is one of hundreds of orphanages just like this in this part of the world. The images I saw today will haunt me for a very long time. We are to visit 2 more orphanages in the coming days. They are not supposed to be in such desperate shape. In the storage room all they had was rice and a few beans, no formula, no baby food. There was no running water, no toilet, and no shower. The kids carried water from a well a few blocks away.

How is my day? You know. My day is not so bad. In fact, as i finish my plain turkey sandwich, at my desk at work, tired from lack of sleep. As I look over the pictures of J, E1, and E2 on the cubicles walls around me, you know my day is pretty darn good...

Night, Nite, Knight... (part I)

A homophone is a word that is pronounced the same as another word but differs in meaning. Ok, so maybe Night and nite are really the same word, and are not homophones. But I thought it made the post more fun.

Dictionary.com list the following for night

1.	the period of darkness between sunset and sunrise.

2.	the beginning of this period; nightfall.

Dictionary.com list the following for Knight:

1.	a mounted soldier serving under a feudal superior in the Middle Ages.

2.	(in Europe in the Middle Ages) a man, usually of noble birth, who after an apprenticeship as page and squire was raised to honorable military rank and bound to chivalrous conduct.

Night closes out each of our days. It begins a period of rest and recovery. It prepares us for the new beginnings that the following day will bring up. Long gone are the days of Knights (at least in the medieval sense), or are they? In today's society Can an individual learn to serve from others (e.g. page), begin to assist (e.g. squire) and eventually transform themselves and their behaviors, attitudes, and conduct for the betterment of the greater society (e.g. Knighthood)?

Perhaps yes, Perhaps no. But with something cooking in the medieval kitchen, you'll just have to wait for the next installment...

Peace

Message of the Day...

As I take a break from work, to refocus, to recenter, to renew, I look up at some of the inspirational quotes, sayings, and prayers around my desk. Whilst this might have been more appropriate on a general population level yesterday (voting day in the U.S.), I find it to be just the message I needed at this moment. Whatever the challenge, whatever the celebration, whatever the sorrow or joy, without having the proper perspective, we are just missing something. The Prayer of the Day is..

Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi (before the San Damiano Cross)

"All-highest, glorious God, cast your light into the darkness of my heart. Give me right faith, firm hope, perfect charity and profound humility, with wisdom and perception, O Lord, so that I may do what is truly your holy will. Amen." ... Saint Francis of Assisi

Peace

How do you make decisions?

This morning I had one of those moments. You know the kind, where it seems a lot of completely unrelated things are going on (politics, conventions, work, home life, family). While not feeling lost, nor overwhelmed, but rather a bit curious as to (if you are able to step back to have a look at) how everything fits together. Being Catholic of course, I wonder how God is fitting all these dissimilar things together. If if you are not a believer in a Higher Faith or Power, you certainly would have thoughts about how things "fit together" nonetheless.

I think what triggered my thinking was pondering the obnoxious political rhetoric these days. Who's the better Patriot, Who's got more experience, Who is the better leader, Who's got the better judgment. As I listen to both Obama and McCain (but primarily this years crop of Democrats) I wonder how people live their lives according to one set of rules and one set of values, then attempt to govern and legislate by another. Perhaps there is a way to reconcile the two, but frankly I don't see how. (Example: using yellow balloons as a metaphor for any of the current hot button issue like guns, energy, abortion, etc) If I personally believe that yellow balloons are root of all evil, how can I function as a human being knowing that I governed or supported legislation that increased the desire and accessibility of yellow balloons. Unless these politicians are soul-less, empty husks, eventually governing and legislating in a manner inconsistent with your personal beliefs would have to completely tear and rip you apart on the inside. Is has to right?

Anyway. This morning, the homily at daily mass today really hit home, and then was further crystallized by something I read in our Diocesan newspaper. Its from St. Francis of Assisi.

Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi before the San Damiano Cross

"All-highest, glorious God, cast your light into the darkness of my heart. Give me right faith, firm hope, perfect charity and profound humility, with wisdom and perception, O Lord, so that I may do what is truly your holy will. Amen." ... Saint Francis of Assisi

And to go further with St. Francis of Assisi, an even more applicable prayer (and more well known) is:

Prayer of St. Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Sometimes other people can make things clearer than we can. I found these words in describing St. Francis' prayer above:

Sometimes Christians are called to turn the world upside down. To bring the exact opposite of what we find in our world. St. Francis' prayer is a bold one, asking for strength to give of ourselves to meet the needs of others. He recognises that it "is in giving that we receive", that as we give of ourselves, we receive the peace and blessing of our risen Lord Jesus. We cannot earn eternal life, but that we are pardoned from the sins that block our claim on it.
Think about the situations that you are involved in that require peace, consolation, hope, light and joy. Then, if you're bold enough, pray the prayer!

I know how I make my decisions. How do you make yours?
Peace to you all.

Prayer Request

We were deeply disturbed to get the news yesterday that our agency's care center in Ghana had been robbed and one of the house mothers assulted. Some of the children witnessed the assult. Everyone is very shaken by these events. The house mother now faces a potential divorce from her husband as that is the culture in Ghana. We ask for your prayers of healing for the children and the house mothers in this time of need. God Bless you.

Angels in my midst, and on the course...

So many thoughts. So many stories. Enough marathon experiences to fill up multiple pages on this blog. I'm going to break them down into multiple posts.

First off, I hope you'll all join in me prayer for the man, with a wife and 3 children, that died today during the running of the 30th Chicago Marathon. News reports indicate he was only 35 years old (two years younger than me). May we be lifted up to our Lord on Angels wings..

I hope you will all join me in another prayer for the greater than 300 race participants that were taken to area hospitals. May their Guardian Angels continue to watch over and protect them.

I think the following says it all in terms of the days (downright brutal) conditions.

CHICAGO (AP) -- Organizers closed the second half of the course just before noon, four hours after the annual race started and with temperatures already at 73 degrees with 86 percent humidity. By 10 a.m., temperatures had already reached a race-record 88 degrees. The previous marathon record of 84 degrees was set in 1979.

On a day that was about World Vision, and our team goal to aid those in great need in Zambia and Ethiopia, its a wonderful feeling to see that the women's race was won by Ethiopia's Berhane Adere.

Prayer for the Day...

Father, to do Your will is my delight (Ps 40:9). "Not my will but Yours be done" (Lk 22:42) (from One Bread, One Body, 01/23/07)