Hmmmmmm....big sigh

Trying to be brutally honest here and well, it has been 2 straight weeks of 24-7 K. Some might say what we are seeing is a result of adding a new sister, but I would whole heartedly disagree. I think what we are seeing is K's behaviors that have been occurring for the last year without the benefit of the distractions of everyday life. You know, the stuff you can ignore on a daily basis because of work, the internet, tv and distractions of activities and day care. What we are seeing in her behaviors makes me question her brain development and how the connections were originally made as they seem to be totally and completely mis-wired. My initial thought was that she has the emotional maturity of a 2 yr old which is what we have been told by her therapist. But that doesn't seem to explain it either. Her reactions to everyday situations are opposite what they should be. Your brother gets hurt, you laugh and mock him. Your sister brushes your leg getting off the couch, you would think your arm was cut off. I have lost track of the number of poor choices that have been made during the last 2 weeks which include but are not limited to sticking finger everywhere they shouldn't be, doors, body parts (in full length mirror none the less...ick!), etc, dumping a cup of laundry soap in the toilet, soiling your pants, forgetting how to put in socks, forgetting to not start peeing before sitting on the toilet. A total and complete lack of cause and effect thinking. And then there are the blank stares. Oh the blank stares...totally checked out in another world, as the strangers at the ball parked remarked, in her own little world, stepping into traffic, falling countless time because she is not watching where she is going, stuck on the toilet because she is staring blankly at the wall and can't seem to put the thoughts together as to how to get off. We have used every therapeutic technique we know in the last 2 weeks and it seems like nothing is getting through. Oh honey, I know it is hard for you to remember how to get off the toilet so take as much time as you need.....I read these stories of other kids that have had malnutrition, trauma, unknown histories, etc, I fear for your future little girl, I fear that you are driving your siblings away with your bullying and mocking, I fear that your birthday parties will all be with adults because the other kids at school tell me how you hit them or were mean to them, I am afraid of how you will navigate through this challenging world without the skills of logic. I wonder if we can teach you, and if you will ever learn.......