We are Here. We are Here. We are Here.

(Sharing a short message I shared with a number of friends that I have the good fortune to run with on Saturdays)

First off Merry Christmas and Happy New Years to all you fine Gentleman. I'm very happy and proud to be a part of this dedicated group. And I mean dedicated as we had one of our largest turnouts this morning even though it was about 13 degrees. Thank you.

While running I was sharing a story with Dan and Dave (names changed) that I had been reflecting on the Newtown shootings.  About the violence we hear about daily downtown [in the City].  On my way to run with you guys I have to pass Planned Parenthood (twice every Saturday).   I think about the people going in, and about the people that are always outside praying.  As I was telling Dan/Dave it just seems that the pendulum has swung so far to the left in our society and I keep waiting for it to swing back a little.  I can't say I was depressed, but I was having a prolonged moment thinking about us (humanity) our role and purpose on this Earth.  I thought about how the Earth really is Satan's domain, and we are here to learn, to love, and if we accept it (him), eventually be called home when our "job" has been completed.  I thought of Lot (or was it Abraham dont recall) and how the Lord was going to destroy that city, but Lot says would you destroy it if there were 50 believers. If there were 15, if there were only 5.  And the Lord ended up saving the city.

I know the Lord hears us.  But are we saying the right things.  Are we praying for the right things. Anyway, I had this weird correlation come to mind.   It was about a scene in the cartoon movie Horton Hears a Who.  There is a scene in the end in which the Who's were going to be destroyed and Horton couldn't protect them. The Who's needed to make a loud noise (think a loud Joyful noise).  It wasn't working, they needed EVERYONE every voice to help.  To raise the message..  "We are here.. We are here... We are here"..

its my new Mantra for awhile.  In my prayers, while reflecting on today's society, about the violence that I can't make sense of, about the hurting Children that are arming themselves and hurting/killing others. I'm thinking "we are here we are here, we are here".

I know the Lord hasn't turned his back to us.  But Maybe we've stopped using our voices.  Maybe we are not loud enough.  Maybe if more Christian raised their voices, and made a Loud Joyful noise, maybe we (humanity) would be given a new direction...

Anyway.. I'm not a poet or writer so maybe I cant explain the tie between the thoughts so well.   But here is a YouTube clip of the entire scene in the moving.  If you watch it, and think about it in a Relgious Context.. Raising our voices to the Lord "We are Here"... maybe the point will be shared

Have a blessed Christmas and New Years..

Peace

Respite and a Silver Lining

Respite is defined as : to grant a temporary period of relief to. Adoptive parents in challenging parenting situations sometimes need to call upon respite care for their children. It often gives parents a life line where there are few other options. Allowing both the parents and child a chance to regroup and a break from the cycle of behavior they may be seeing. I have written before about the challenging situation we are in with three of our children at a private school and our daughter who is struggling at the public school where she is provided the support system she needs and a social/emotional class room environment that will hopefully continue her healing. At first glance, I struggled greatly with the vacation and no school day schedules that didn't line up except on National Holidays. We have been engaged with K's very challenging behaviors that have been ongoing over the past 3 weeks, leaving little of us left over for our other three kids, and what is left is usually either spent or irritable. I could see the burden piling on them as K took more and more of mom and dad's time. Last week, the 3 had half the week off of school. A month ago, T & I had debated on who would take off work to cover all the off day time. Then it struck me, as much as T&I need a break from K, the other three kids take the brunt of it and they needed a break too. Not only are they in the thick of K's behaviors, but they also get nailed on the upswing when mom and dad have little left to give them. Where is their respite? I finally saw the silver lining. The private school off days they have while their sister is at public school are a blessing. It was right under my nose! I promised myself last week that there would be NO catching up on laundry, house cleaning, internet surfing, etc etc on those days. I would use those days to engage totally and completely with the three without K's drama taking center stage. So we did, and we had boats of fun, just hanging around. And they took full advantage of just being kids....like they should be.

A Letter from a Parent..

People that know our family, know that we've built our family through International Adoption.  Its a Blessing to beyond words for us, this family we have.  As with all families, like is not always a Rose garden.  It is no different in our family.  The primary challenges we face are not exclusive to families with Internationally adopted children, or adopted or foster children.  But the are more common within that group of families.

Life is a roller coaster.  It can be fast and furious.  It can be filled with anticipation, like just before the ride starts. Or relief, like after the ride is over.  What happens inside a home, that is not seen by everyone can sometimes be very different than what outsiders get to see.

Parents and children may seem aloof (not sure I have every used that in a sentence until now).  People, friends, and groups that were seen more regularly might not be seen much.  Routine restaurants and activities might not be so routine anymore.  There can be a great many explanations behind that.  But I would like to share this letter.  It was written by many Parents of Trauma (sorta a phrase that is used in the community).  It shares things in a way that few can express, certainly better that I could have expressed.

Peace

To hell and back again

I know, I know, it has been awhile, but to be honest, it has been a rough month. As i sat back a couple of days ago trying to collect my thoughts, I realized it was Sept of 2011 when we first saw how bad things were with K in Colombia when the proverbial shit hit the fan. We find ourselves a year later seeing one horrific behavior on top of another and for me personally, feeling like we are no closer to healing than we were a year ago. T, thankfully has taken the glass half full approach, in that he and our neuro-reorg practitioner feel all this is trauma coming out and now we can help her process and heal. That sound great to me, except by glass half empty thinks we are one step away from juevi or a group home for her. In the last week alone, we have been to the police station with her (she is 5, remember) and she almost electrocuted herself to death in a fit of rage at school. She is in a therapeutic class remember. Unlike before, when her school behavior tanked, her behavior at home remained fairly steady, ah yah, not so much this time. There are considerable periods of time where she is either checked out, in a rage, or in a state of constant hyper vigilance unable to stop herself from asking question after question after question, then the lying, she will lie about the shirt color she is wearing if it suits her. So many pieces and parts, is it the fetal movements with the neuro reorg unlocking something (if it is, that is a good thing)? the EMDR therapy? The school work? The change of seasons? I have no idea, and don't even know if it matters, the boat is rocking and we are holding on for dear life.

26.2 for ... oh some many things

26.2 for clean water in Africa

26.2 for our sponsored children in Guatamala, Ethiopia, DR Congo, Colombia, our the family we sponsored in Ghana.

26.2 for friends and family dealing with Cancer and any Illness

26.2 for Grace and Mercy in my own home, that we each grow and learn from each other from the Holy Spirit that resides in each of us.

26.2 for patience and virtue

26.2 for a lasting deep and honest Peace in the World

26.2 for those in most need of our Lords mercy and healing, through the perfect intercession our of Blessed Mother.

Thats what Tri for Hope, Sacrifice with Purpose means for me as I prepare for tomorrows Marathon.

Peace

Wow!

Sometimes the reminders are good reminders

Got a good piece of advice.  Heard it before.  Lots of times before.  But sometimes, its just good to hear things again.  We're human. We forget things sometimes.  Things are not always in the forefront of conscious thought.

"Just take one moment at a time.  Then one day at a time"

Can't get to the finish by watching the finish line, else we'll trip on the obstacles in the way.

[adoption disclaimer]
this post is not adoption related or related to anything kid initiated in the house.  Its just a Ted thing, about keeping focus a little closer rather than long term.
[/adoption disclaimer]

Peace

Neuroreorg, EMDR and Amino Acid Therapy

Well apparently we are now in the possession of the neuro reorg exercises that can unlock "Pandora's Box". We are not really sure what that means, but our interpretation is that the fetal exercises we have just started could possibly open the door to a lot of unresolved trauma in K that could come out in her behaviors. Having just started a therapeutic Kindergarten class, there are a lot of moving pieces and parts and it may be hard if a break down does occur, to determine whether it was the exercises or the transitions. So far, nothing earth shattering with the EMDR other than the bilateral stimulation really seems to help calm her when she starts spiraling out of control, so we have been working specifically between the neuro reorg and the EMDR to help give her some coping techniques when things get stressful that will work for her. The teacher even used the jumping technique today at the first day of school! K has surprised us in the last week expressing her feelings, likes and dislikes in a productive manner on a positive note, on a not so positive note, she has seriously ramped up her irritation of her siblings. I remembered something the other day from the trauma conference in that because our kids hurt so much of the time, they want everyone around them to feel as awful as they do. I realized that this may be what she is doing, and succeeding, so we need to pull out our tool box and do some thinking on that one. We will see how the rest of the week goes, she did rock the mohawk on her first day of school, very Grace Jones!

This picture is worth a 1000 words (but which words)

Is it saying...

Hanging by a thread...

(am or becoming) unraveled...

Bending but not broken...

I'm in a perfectly good mood, but I just loved this picture.  How often does it feel that its just the smallest of threads that are helping to keep it all together.  Just imagine what could be outside the scope of the picture that is at the end of those ropes.  Family?  Work?  The Whole world?  I like to think that in times like that, if a magnifying glass was put on that center thread it wouldn't say "Made in China" or even "Made in the USA", rather "Made in Heaven".    Comforting to know that no matter how hard we're pulled, and tugged, and felt like we're being torn apart, that the strongest fibers within us, will not, and cannot break.  We just need to have Faith and Believe.

Peace

Its and Ear thing.. er I mean nose thing..

The house has a wave of worn down, lethargic, cold-like funk going through it.

#1 is down with a non-mild sinus infection and ear infection.
#2 has been fighting it off
#3 had some coughs..
#4 is so far doing well.

Mama and Papa..  Mama said she's feeling a bit worn out.  Papa is planning on going to the clinic after work because OTC meds have not helped his cold in over a week, so I'm pretty sure I've got the sinus infection also.  And despite much increased sleep the past few days,  I'm still worn out big time.

Gonna be a fun first week of school next week with possibly have the family on antibiotics.

Serenity Now.   Serenity Now.

Despite that, were getting ready for a new school year.   We're transitioning to school time-schedules.  J is going back to work 5x per week.  I'll be 5x per week, but with Monday just being work from home.  We have a brand new set of NeuroReorg exercises to start on.  The Pergola I'm building is showing form.

Its like a hive of activity at that house, only somebody blew smoke at us.. as we're all wiped out :)

Building

There is just something about building something concrete, something that you can watch take shape, visualize, engineer, and work out details that give me a sense of progress and accomplishment. It has been a long summer with K and the negative energy around this place is palatable. So much so that the other night we went to celebrate the sale of our neighbors house and after few drinks i ended up sobbing all over our poor neighbor, nose running, chest heaving, gasping for breath, yes, it was quite a scene. She said to me that night "You are bigger than K's problems". The moment she said that, I knew that the fact that I saw K's problems as bigger than me, was a huge reason I was so depressed. I felt defeated, out of control in my own home. K's problems had become Goliath, looming over me like a mountain, I woke up everyday expecting the worst, waiting for the horrific behaviors, looking for the other shoe that I expected to drop at any second. I couldn't continue with that mentality, it was tearing me apart. Awhile ago, T and I had talked about building an pergola to make our deck more usable. So after some plans had sat on the counter for a few months, T started making some serious calculations, then he bought some lumber, then he started building and I started measure, and planning and moving CMU blocks for a raised patio for an outdoor firepit. It seems so simple, and some would probably consider it avoidance in not addressing my real feelings about K's issues, but there is something about building something, sweating, sore muscles, hauling heavy blocks and seeing something come together before your eyes that makes me feel strong again, like there isn't anything i can't accomplish if I put my mind to it. I am bigger than her problems. "I a prisoner for the Lord strongly urge you to live in a manner worthy of the calling you have received." Ephesians 4:1

Just a Boy and his Papa..

Sure the marathon training schedule read that this weekend was an 18 miler.   Saturday I've been running with a great group of spiritual guys. Its a nice mini escape.  But its 30 minutes away.  It would need to be out there long before 5am to be back in time for when the rest of the guys would show up.

So I decided to go today.  At the last minute I change my long river run route, to doing 3 6 mile loop around the neighborhood.  Why I dunno.  but then it hit me in the middle of lap one.   E1.  If he's up after the 2nd lap, he can ride his bike with me.   The Father/Son Run/Bike I've been waiting for.  It just might work.

I stopped at the house, asked when he needed to be back for swimming. we had time!  Quick E, get your stuff were going out.  As he's rushing, he didn't even know where or for what.  What a trooper.  He was stronger on the hills even.  I thought I would need to keep up with him, but 6miles was still a bit of a long
ride for him.

We had some time together.  So some of nature's early morning friends (all the animals are out early morning if you didn't know).  Good time.  Not sure what the rest of the day will hold (except for sore legs for me), but  the day sure started off awesome.  Thanks E!  And thank you Lord for the opportunity.

Peace

An update, neuroreorg and EMDR

It has been awhile since we have updated our progress with our neuroreorg and how it is going with our daughter. With weekends away and vacations over the summer, we have struggled to fit all the daily therapy into our schedule. We have tried to double up some days knowing we would be missing others. Then there was a 2 week hiatus for a android and tonsil surgery at the end of June. While this brought the therapy to a screeching halt, we felt, as did the doctor, that the size of her adenoids and tonsils were impacting her fatigue and endurance as well as likely causing sleep apnea. Nothing like starving a brain you are trying to repair of oxygen every night! So we took the plunge and are glad to have the surgery and recovery time behind us. We will be meeting with our neuro reorg practitioner in a few weeks to check the progress and hopefully will graduate to some new therapies. I can't say we have seen any dramatic changes in behaviors, etc, so I am curious what we will hear in a few weeks. For the sake of her privacy, I will not go into detail, but we did have a very serious issue occur a few weeks back, followed a few days later by, what we felt, was an honest recollection of some memories from Congo. We were shaken to our core by this and it has been some very tense weeks in our home making sure things are in place to keep everyone safe. Whether it be the comfort level she now has with us, or the neuro reorg that is trigging some of this, we met with an EMDR therapist yesterday to help her to start processing the trauma that is coming out. We are very hopeful this therapist will be able to give her some appropriate tools to self sooth and coping techniques as well as help her process what she likely went through in Congo. Starting to think we might be able to start a private therapy practice once we have been through all these therapies! God is faithful and we have been blessed by the people he has put in our path to help heal her! Hoping for a more positive update from Traumatown next week! Traumatown, the place you never planned to visit, but now that you are here, you can't figure out how to leave.

Adoption Ethics and Orphanage Care

Adoption is about loss, loss of a birth family, loss of a culture, a country. There is no way around it. As I read this blog post http://www.gracelings.org/2012/07/guest-post-walking-away-from-ugandan.html last week about a failed Ugandan adoption, it stirred many feelings in me and our 4 adoptions. We adopted first out of selfishness. We wanted a family. Our first adoption, we were ignorant. We were more concerned about buying the best baby stroller than the fact that our need for a young baby was driving a horrific supply and demand chain that was playing out in Guatemala with mothers selling their babies to enable them to feed their other children. Hindsight is always 20/20 and once our eyes were open, we realized our agency was doing little to better the conditions in Guatemala. They were a business and out to make a buck. For our second adoption in Ethiopia, we chose an agency with a fantastic child sponsorship program that was working hard to keep families together. They were building schools and other improvements to strengthen communities. About that time, we got involved with World Vision and started raising money on our own to keep families together and build communities along with sponsoring a child from our kids birth countries. It seemed like such a small thing to do to try and swing the pendulum away from the quick and easy answer of adoption to help enable kids to be raised by extended families and supported to attend school. We mindfully stepped further in this direction when we adopted from Congo, choosing to work with a group that was not about adoption, but about improving conditions in the DRC. We also chose to adopt out of birth order, enabling us to provide a home for an older child and not feed a supply and demand chain as agencies rushed to open pilot programs in the DRC when Ethiopian adoptions began to slow. But we failed, again. Failed to question, failed to go beyond the lemming mindset of adoptive parents, failed stand up and say, “Hey! This isn’t right, I demand more information”. Don’t get me wrong, we love our daughter, and with all her challenges, we will not give up on her, but damn it, she had an option that would have allowed her to stay in her birth country. An option that not many orphans have in the DRC, of a loving Godly single woman that cared deeply for her that we would have more than willingly supported. We could have impacted 6 lives through a sponsorship of this single mother of 4 kids had we known at the time ! But sponsorship is messy, right? It take time to locate and check out families willing to foster and reporting to make sure corruption isn’t involved and visits to check on the children and and and…. It’s much cleaner and easier for an NGO to build a brick a mortar building with shiny new floors, beds and mattresses to house more orphans than to actually go out and find foster families willing to love and raise these children in a family setting. We stopped building orphanages in the US over 50 years ago, but for Africa, LET’S GO BUILD ANOTHER ORPHANAGE! We can’t claim to be helping when we are just perpetuating a system that has already failed once. The best and the fanciest institutional care facility cannot replace a family. If you are truly not about adoption, then investigate these kids backgrounds before they are referred to an adoptive family, find out if there is a family member or neighbor willing to step forward with a little support, find out if the only reason the child has been relinquished is because the family cannot afford a life saving surgery or medicine, find out if the birth mother passed away in child birth and the family just can’t afford formula, then use the funds that would have gone into brick and mortar to keep a family together. Then come back and tell me you aren’t about adoption and I might consider believing you.

MmoooHooo Ha Ha! Love This!

Thought for Today

‎"When we leave our comfort zones, God can freely work in our lives. When we let go of our plans, God can use us in His bigger plan." -Richard Stearns, president of World Vision U.S.

Fruitylicious

Sometimes you just need to eat a bunch of fruit loops w/o Milk as a snack.  I'm just sayin'  ...
They're good :) 

For some, If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Thats good.  But Fruit Loops (even the
Aldi brand) are just fruitylicious!

Tails of a nut dog.

As if being Parents of Trauma isnt enough, not more than one stinking day after I remarked how good K-dog has been he goes off and ticks off a bee.  He likely got stung as he is now refushing to leave our deck and when he does he is skittish as all get out.  Worse yet, I saw him trotting to the front yard.  Why is that an issue.  Because we have an invisible fence for him.

Aaaahhh. The day in the life of our family.  If is not one thing is always another.

Ambition

Societal ambition is something that is beaten into the core of our existence all our lives.  Keeping up with Jones's, climbing the corporate ladder, breaking the glass ceiling.  The media barrages us with bigger, better, newer and more advanced options for technology and things you just NEED to have, all of which require more green which drives the cycle:, climb the corporate ladder, make more green, get more STUFF.  The more I surround myself with people who see their salary as simply a means to an end, in other words, I work to provide for my family and meet their basic needs, the more I see the bigger picture and how society's message drives us away from God.  It became a turning point in my mentality when we realized our ambition for our special needs daughter was not for her to become a doctor, CEO or lawyer, but to have meaningful relationships in her life.   Richard Sterns, President of World Vision writes in his book "The Hole in our Gospel" how he found himself constantly falling into CEO positions, being at the right place at the right time.  In his case, God had a bigger plan for him, all that experience became the roadmap God had laid for him and he ultimately accepted the position at World Vision at a lower salary than he had been making and after turning down what society would have called the job offer of a lifetime.  While it would be A to the Awesome if God's roadmap for my life included being Richard Sterns successor, i am pretty sure it doesn't.  What I do know is that God has put some pretty amazing people in my path recently and the more I hear stories about people turning down promotions, forgoing lives unecessary luxuries and choosing to put family time and serving the Lord first in their lives, the more I am inspired and the more I realize where my true ambition lies.

First Father / Son race?

E1 is pretty fast.  Likes to challenge his old man in short little courses in the backyard.  I'm more like lumbering bull.  I need space to gain momentum and speed.  I'm no match for his speedy chipmunk legs and agility.   The day is coming very soon when he'll take me in the sprints. Then again, I never was really that fast (..cough.. excuse   ..cough..)

There's a potential that we'll enter him, or we'll both run in a 1mile youth race.  Timing chips and all. He's not run that far before, but after Mama brought it up, he seemed excited about it.  Of course E2 was also, and he's fast also, but this is not his time.  His time is coming.

Stay tuned ..

Freedom.. the two wheeled kind

After much coaxing and build-up I talked E1 into trying to ride a bike again.  (Earlier blog post). On Sunday we broke through the apprehension and decided to try and go around the block twice.  Prior to going I was telling E1 how "close" I thought he was to getting it.  I said I bet in  25 trips around the block he'd have it down.

We set off.  I ran beside him and steadied him.  Down the hill on the street he did well. I could see the uncertainty in his eyes and the tightness in his arms/hands.  Up the inclines gave him some trouble.  But all in all after the 1st lap I told E1 I was wrong.  He'd have it down in 10 laps. We did 1 more lap and called it good for the day.

Monday comes and I load up the bikes for all 4 and head to a park with a large, flat lot. I unload E1's bike first.  He' steadies himself on the care then OFF he goes like he's been riding for years.    As mentioned in the earlier post, he's beaming.   The rest of the week he rides a bit on the driveway and the front lawn.  Until today.

Today I asked if he wanted to hit the street again.   He's out the door before I can even catch my breath. 
FIVE MILES later we call it a day.  F I V E  M I L E S!!   How proud I am of him.  I took him on a route with some hills to build some strength.  On one of the hilly laps I heard him whispering to himself "you can do it"  and he did.  Sometimes I wonder about E1's confidence.  Not today.  Not this week.  This newfound freedom of his has his confidence cups overflowing.   What an awesome thing to watch...

Way to go E!

Boo boo regret

There has been a lot of talk around town recently about boo boos (thats what the kids call them, but if you prefer, ta-tas, the girls, whatever floats your boat).  First the magazine cover that had mom in heels nursing her older son, then hearing another adoptive mom who just gave birth to a biologial child who is now nursing both, then chatter at work with a new grandma about her daughter's first nursing experience, then my cousin's wife enduring breast cancer.  So needless to say, the boo boos have been on my mind a lot lately and I think I am having a moment of boo boo regret.  God obviously gave women them to nurse and closely bond with their children, not as the sexualized object they have become.  I had heard stories about adoptive mothers breastfeeding their adopted children, but always assumed they had a biological child that started the process or had taken a bunch of hormone messing drugs to produce milk which I was unwilling to do.  As it turns out, a woman's body is AMAZING, and without pregnancy, can actually induce lactation using a pump or just by the principal of supply and demand!  Holy crap!  Why didn't someone tell me this earlier?  While i don't ever imagine myself mourning never being pregnant, I do mourn not being able to nurse my boys.  I think there would have been an initial leap of faith phase (especially as I imagine if hubby had walked into the room the reaction would have probably been, "ahh, what are you DOING!!"), but after that leap, it would have been natural.  I would be lying if I said I never thought about it when they were snuggle up close, but I always dismissed that instinct and told myself, "no, I can't do that...." thinking, would they be frustrated if nothing came out and just push away (ah rejection)? could they hurt me (self preservation)?  Either way, I never made that leap and the ship has sailed....sigh   

A Father / Son chest thump ...

I think I just had a moment. Not a moment like my oldest just lost his first tooth. Or that our newest now wears glasses. Not a moment like the personal satisfaction of completing a marathon.  Not the same as those, but a moment no doubt.

Yesterday E1 broke through the uncertainty, doubt, and fear and became a bicycling road warrior!  

I feel like pulling a Tim Allen and doing a caveman grunt and chest thump.  And you know what. I think E1 felt like doing one also.

Atta boy!!!!

Neuro Reorg Week 3

I have to say one of the most gratifying comments we have recieved in the past few weeks was from our amazing Early Childhood Teacher who I gave a copy of our first NR post to.  She simply said, "we always suspected K operated in fight or flight mood most of the time".  When T&I started the NR road, we were convinced in our own minds this path was really what K needed.  To hear from our Early Childhood Teacher that feedback from our NR practicioner fell directly in line with their assessment felt really really good.  I ask myself about 1000 times a day if we are doing what is right for K, and not being in the mental health profession, it is hard deciphering between all the therapies that are out there.  To get a confirmation from someone that knows our daughter and has worked with her daily over the past school year, that we are on the right path really put my mind at peace.  It is a long and difficult path, however.  I was at a trauma mama meeting the other night and I mentioned that we are doing NR with K and the therapy is about 2 hours a day.  Another mama asked, with 4 kiddos, how we found 2 hours a day to do the therapy?  Without hesitation, I answered, "What other choice do we have, other than to find the time?  This will affect the rest of her life if we don't address the foundation issues she has in her brain, we have to make the time".  I just pray God will give us the strength and patience to get through it.  I had an opportunity to discuss this with our fantastic summer tutor A this week as well in addition to providing her with a little background on NR, because I havn't dumped enough info on her yet LOL!  (who knew our kids came with so many instructions!).  Thinking of having a little sign made up for our front door "Please excuse our mess.  Brain Rescrambling in Progress"

From the Land of the Weird

We are starting to notice a few strange things going on with K as we continue on our NR journey.  One of the weirder things is one of the exercises meant to help her two sides of the brain talk better.  As we pass through the midline, she starts blinking quickly or does strange movements with her mouth.  A few of the other families are having similar reactions, so it doesn't seem all that unusual, but it is definately weird to watch.  The professionals are saying that it is a sign that the two hemipheres of the brain are not fulling intigrated or connected when this is happening.  The creeping has been 25 min's a day of pure torture, she hates it and fights it every min.  When we read that some families have been doing creepings for 6 months it is pretty depressing and the constant battle of the wills over the creeping time is exhausting.  There are times when it appears to be getting better and more fluid, but then it goes right back to an uncoordinated mess.  Her moods also seem all over the place, like the filter has been removed and she is just exploding emotion she has little control over at everything.  Again, this seems to be pretty common with other families in that you take one step back before moving forward.  She was trying to hurt sister this weekend, so I was keeping her close and it just spiralled out of control ugly really fast as she tried to manipulate me into letting her go over by sis by telling me she was fine, but then would grab for sister the second I moved.  She went from cackling to crying to screaming to laughing, it was like emotion soup in her head.  I ended up taking her inside and she just sobbed and sobbed as i rocked her.  wow!  It was a lot to take in but I was able to employ the "C" for curiosity and the "E" for empathy at least.  For now, just hanging in there and trudging slowly ahead...we hope.... 

Weekend Came and Went

The first weekend with the new neuro reorg went well.  I think we got in the majority of the goals and actually did the poses twice yesterday (120 repetitions each for 3 positions), which was the first time since we started.  We are getting more efficient and K is starting to learn what she needs to do to get it done.  T noticed that she is blinking excessivly when she is doing them, so we arn't sure if it is dust or something (because we are on the floor), or if there is actually something triggering in her brain.  The creeping is still HARD.  We are finding less and less to motivate her enough to do the creeping and she doesn't seem to be getting any more efficient at it and until she does, the 25 min goal will remain.  She has a goal of 5 min's of crawling, but when you do let her crawl, its like you open the gate and then she won't creep anymore or cheats the creep as a crawl.  Her behavior in general is still off, from what it has been over the last few months and I'm not really sure why.  A lot of defiance and moaning about things that would seem pretty minor to the rest of us.  The big trigger this weekend was over chapstick.  N and I returned from the store and we didn't even get out of the garage before K was screaming at both of us for not getting her some chapstick too at the store.  I waited for her to calm down and asked her if she thought I would get N chapstick without getting her one? No, she replied, I asked her if she thought i might have one in my bag for her? Yes, she replied, I then asked her if she made a good choice by screaming at us like that?  No she said as her face sunk.  It took her the better part of a day, asking constantly about it, trying to manipulate, to earn it by making better choices.  In the end, I think it was one of the more effective logical consequences we have done.  She clearly understood that her approach to the situation had caused her not to get something she really really wanted and as hard as she tried, she couldn't blame me or her sister for it.   I could see the wheels spinning though... I had not forgotten about her..... I had not bought her sister something without getting something for her too, oh what to do!  She was perplexed, truely perplexed, it was interesting to observe how she tired to wrap her head around what happened then tried to repair what she had done.  Sunday Religous Education class brought another challenge, she had been doing well all year because the class is short and there are usually lots of fun crafty projects like she really enjoys, but last week she was sent out of class for putting her hands on the other kids during story time and not listening to the teacher, well, she got to sit out front with one on one attention which is great if you are trying to reward bad choices.  So we had a talk this week with the teacher, and even though it was the last week, we wanted to prevent any additional rewarding of bad choices.  We set up for them to come and get us if need be and explained the importance of ignoring behaviors so they arn't reinforced, but they were in big group with a lot of activities and it ended with no drama.  Big ENT appointment this week for K's surgery, so lots on the horizon!

Neuro Reorg Day 3

Oh man, exhausted doesn't describe it.  Our routines have been flipped on their head as we try and squeeze as much of our daily neuro reorg stuff into an already packed schedule.  Weekday morning are tough to incorporate anything into except a few mins of the 25 min goal of creeping each day.  I have forgot more things in the last three days than in the last month!  While we accounted for the fact that we had about 2 hours at night to do the exercises, what we didn't account for was the fact that K's endurance is terrible in everyday activities and trying to get her to do 25 min's of stomach crawling is really really exhausting for her, especially since her creep is a mess.  Surprising, as we have gone through the exercises, we were convinced, because the boys went through many of the milestones with us that they would rock the creeping work, or NOT!  We knew N didn't walk until she was almost 2, which made us feel that she might benefit from some of the exercises, or NOT!  Surprise again, she floated across the floor like she had wheels under her!  My jaw dropped and she was lightning fast, it was awesome to watch, her run is awkward to say the least, but it is good to know that she has a good foundation to work form.   Heading into the weekend will be interesting.  Friday is normally a sit back and relax night, but again, it was neuro reorg from dinner to bed.  We will see how proactive we will be this weekend at trying to stretch things out over the entire day and not wait until evening to get everything accomplished.  No rest for the weary! 

Neuro Reorganization Day 1

We had our much anticipated meeting for K's neuro reorg today.  The appointment was close to 3 hours long and I am kind of feeling like my brain is melting.  There is a lot to remember.  The long and short of it is that K's  lower brain is not functioning as it should, so like a building with a poor foundation, we can keep trying to build on it, but if we don't fix the foundation, everything will remain shaky.  Importantly, it came out that our NR will let us know when the appropriate time to start therapy with her will be.  Right now because of K's processing skills, there wouldn't be anything to gain from therapy.  We need to fix the foundation first.  One of the key things we learned is that K didn't have the foundations in utero or in her first months after birth that she should have.  This is reflected in birth reflexes that she is still retaining.  These should have been lost within a few months of birth, but she still shows at least 4 of these reflexes.   On the next level of her brain which is the PONS, 1-4 months old, is key to deep emotion, fight or flight, feeling safe and secure.  It is likely that she didn't develop the PONS level correctly, so to her, the world is not a safe place and she stays in that fight or flight mode constantly.  This reflects also in her eye contact, her horizontal and vertical eye tracking skips and she can not converge on an object, but instead diverges, this is part of her hypervigilance as she has issues paying attention because she is always distracted looking for potential threats.  Another major connection is her inability to sense pain, overreacting to some and underreacting to other, this pain center also ties to empathy, if she can't sense pain in herself, she can not feel empathy for others or make the emotional connections.  On of the other exercises shows she is hardwired to the flight or flight reaction when placed under any stress.  Her brain reverts to the PONS level and she shuts down.  Our NR also ID'ed quite a few midbrain issues as well.  For now, we are going to be working on the PONS level as that will likely cause some of the midbrain issues that she saw to fall into place.  Based on the evaluation, the issue we rated highest she is having, and the plan for rebulding the basics, she developed a series of daily activities we will be working with K on.  They are quite extensive and there is a learning curve involved, but so far, K was pretty cooperative.  Our follow up is in 3 months, so hopefully we will make some good progress over the summer with her home with us 4 day a week.  Time for some rest and tomorrow, trying to incorporate some NR into our morning routine

Injustice

I was distracted in church this Sunday, sitting in the pew, staring, yes, staring at this 4 month old baby two rows ahead of us.  She had on one of those little headbands with the giant flowers attached to it that are almost larger than the baby's head, you know the ones I am talking about, her cute little outfit, matching shoes and stripped tights, a bag of teething rings, fresh diapers, bottles, toys, changes of clothes, etc, etc, etc, you get the picture.  She was surrounded by grandma, grandpa, mom, sister, brother, all ooohing and ahhing and jumping at any little wimper that came out of her adorable little lips.  As I stood, sat, kneeled, with my eyes fixed on the spectacular show going on in front of me I felt myself becoming more and more furious.  Furious that my babies didn't have that when they were infants.  That they wern't oohed and ahhed over, that they didnt get picked up the second the let out a wimper, that they didn't have an extended family that played with them and made silly expressions while blowing raspberries on their tummies, that they sat in their waste for hours and hours crying for someone to change them, that they never knew what it was like to fall asleep in mama's arms listening to her heartbeat, that they came to believe the only one they can rely on in this world is themselves, that they had their little hearts broken over and over again and convinced themselves that the world isn't a safe place because there was no one there to keep them safe when they were so vulnerable.  The thought of my kids crying for help and no one coming is unbearable to me and so stiffling that it becomes difficult to breath, but I didn't have to live through it, they did.  That injustice remains with them and I can only do my best to help them heal. 

A Prayer for Today

I pray today for the intercession of St Gianna. Through your vocation as a mother and doctor, you honored every human person and saw value in every life, you looked beyond the label of "special needs" and saw every life as a gift from God that should be loved and cherished and given the opportunity to live life to its fullest.  Holy Sprit, Source of every perfection, I ask that you give the doctors on all four corners of the world the wisdom and knowledge to piece together this puzzle.  You know what is in our heart and our boundless love for this gift You have given us.  To You be the Glory forever and ever Amen. 

In the past 24 hours

I have not stopped but for sleep.  The world has been racing and I have felt desperate to cling on its coattails.  So much seems to be happening so fast I just want to take a step back and observe for a second.  Today started with 2 dys-regulated kiddos and a basketball rolling out of the garage at just the right second to reverse the door, forcing me to pull back up the drive to get the basketball out of the way and in doing so step on a large wad of gum.  nice. Its going to be one of THOSE kind of days.  Change your space I told myself.  Drawing a blank, well onward.   Off to picking up a poop pan, have 5 tons of dirt dumped on our drive + 8 yds of mulch, then off again to get K early and out of her routine which always makes for a great day especially being that we were headed to a new ENT doc.  The whirlwind appointment lasted about 5 sec. and ended with the word "surgery".  Well, not totally unexpected but enlightening in the fact that her humongous tonsils and adenoids might be part of the peeing issues we are seeing.  Wondering now if that might not be the only connection.  Barely make it out of x-ray before E2 plays Tarzan on the very expensive x-ray equipment and the cell phone is ringing off the hook, do i know where K is the school asks? Why yes, she is right here, didn't you get the note i sent yesterday??? Few min's later, call from the same number, strange, nope this time another contact from someone else at the school getting N listed for evaluation for the bilingual class (cheers in the background).  Off to pick up E1 and N at school just in the nick of time and avoid it if I could, or would, it just wasn't happening, K wants to go in...sigh....she really hasn't been back to the preschool she left earlier in the year due to the behavioral problems she was having there.  Yes, I tried to play it cool, but the second she walked in the door, it was clear the brain scramble was on.  I held her hand as we walked through her old classroom and this glassed look just came over her face.  Her old teacher walked in and I tried to give her the words for a polite greeting, but she was clamped shut, it was like returning to the scene of a massacre.  The kids came back and unbelievably, many remembered her name, even though she was only there for a week.  They came up to hug her which only caused her to withdraw further, ok, time to leave.  Nice seeing you all, sorry I almost poked your eyes out and pinched all of you! Off to RE class and a visit to the park that somehow resulted in every self inflicted  injury known to man (note to self - restock band-aides in the car),draw happy faces on all the kids hands as a reminder when they look down how others want to be treated,  home, margarita from scratch made lovingly with very old dehydrated limes, playing scantily clad paper dolls with the girls (seriously, they look like little hookers and they even give you some money to put in their hands like they just did a lap dance or something), conversation with E2 about how he will ask God to make me fast, then he decides to take back his request to God because he says I am already too fast (guess he didn't hear me wheezing at the park earlier), recapping the day and giving it to God.

Neuro Reorg Here We Come!

We got the great news yesterday that the practitioner feels that K could be helped by Neuro Reorg. After a difficult day back to school for her after at weekend at the grandparents, it was much needed good news. Our appointment is in early May and we are super excited about hearing what her thoughts are and getting more in depth feedback and information about the program.
On the school placement for N next year, we were able to network with a number of parents at the conference and got a LOT of great information including some unexpected information from one of the speakers who is an advocate for families with school districts. His information will be invaluable in our decision making process. In a nutshell, N is currently at a private Christian school that we love, but would be difficult, if she needs academic help going forward to come by, coupled with our concern that if she is in too far over her head with the very advanced academic program, she might develop, knowing her personality, a dislike of school. Our other option is to see if she qualifies for a dual language program at our public school. That would give her the learning in her native language but also build her English vocabulary, plus the resources are there for her if she needs assistance. Thinking we need to start a list of pros and cons. One thing we have noticed that some reasons for picking one school over the other are my hang ups not hers, for example, if she is not keeping pace at the private school, it is likely we would have her take kindergarten twice, while our younger daughter in the public school would move on to first grade. That bugs me, not necessarily her. I have not been able to pin point my exact issue with it, but it seems to point to the hierarchy of our family, i want N to be and feel like the older sister, as she can easily be bullied by K, and I think the grade level would add to that. N is already smaller than K and about 6 lbs lighter. But that is my issue, not necessarily hers. And how much the grade level would come into play with them at 2 different schools is questionable, the greater factor is probably their sizes and personalities at this age.
So, lots of stuff coming up in the next few weeks and I am hopeful we can do some blow by blow blog posts of the neuro reorg as we go along.

Trauma Conference Recap

We spent the weekend san kiddos at a conference for parents of kids with trauma. At last years conference, I can say I left feeling like superwoman with all these great new tools in my belt for helping my kids to heal. This year was so different. We made so many connections with amazing families and got to share stories, successes and failures, but I left the conference feeling doubt. And not just a pinch of doubt, a whole whopping mountain of doubt. I have an immense amount of respect for the speakers and families at the conference so hearing everyone gasp and the room go silent after I mentioned in a small group that the kids grandparents were taking them to Disney World this fall, I was utterly horrified. I felt a little better after another family talked about their trip to New York City with their child and the accommodations that they made to give sensory breaks and unwinding time, and saw how it could be done in a safe and therpudic manner. T tried to talk me down afterwards from the ledge and reminded me that we don’t live our lives by isolating our children from experiences, and that we have a more “That’s How We Roll” attitude, I agreed, but the little voice in the back of my head keeps saying, “yah, but you’re stupid!”. Sure you could go 90 mph on the highway and not wear a seat belt and not get in an accident but is it responsible? Just because we can does it mean we should or that it is the best decision for our family. We will be going to Disney, because that’s how we roll, and we are accepting the fact that one of the adults might end up in the hotel pool with K the whole trip barely setting foot on the Disney grounds. Taking K to Colombia was a freaking train wreck. But if I had the decision to make again today, I wouldn’t have done it differently. So in a nutshell, that either makes me incredibly dense or a gluten for punishment. Stay tune for Therapeutic Parenting 101 – Trial by Fire

Easter Thoughts and the Bunny

If you havn't been reading Jen Hatmaker's blog, you should. She can be found at: http://jenhatmaker.com/blog.htm. Love this quote in light of my bubble post:

"While the richest people on earth pray to get richer, the rest of the world begs for intervention with their faces pressed to the window, watching us drink our coffee, unruffled by their suffering."

Be the change.

Growing up in the “bubble” and moving to the “bubble”

There was never a good connotation when folks around the area called the town I grew up in “the bubble”. The perception was that if you were in “the bubble”, you were not impacted by poverty, violence, diversity or the real world that was going on outside of “the bubble”. “The bubble”, however, was subjected to racial integration plans of the 1970’s which some, likely well educated buffoon with a bunch of letters after his name had concocted in his corner office thinking,” hey, if we bus kids from the inner city to the “bubble”, peace love and joy will result in racial unity!”. Well, as you can imagine the integration plan was a dismal flop. Much like visiting one of those all inclusive resorts in Mexico for 2 weeks, just visiting there doesn’t make you a part of the community and to the community, you will always be a foreigner. Therein lies the basic problem.
So I am getting my hair done a few weeks ago, chatting with the hair dresser who grew up in the town we are now living, a state away from the “bubble”, and she tells me how growing up here, they called it the “bubble”, oh Lord, I am now thinking, I moved from one bubble to another! But in my new bubble, I have 2 black kids and 2 Hispanic kids. When we bought our house, the racial diversity of the neighborhood/town was not something that ever crossed our minds. I am a huge sucker for oak trees and to be honest, the large yards and 150 yr old oak trees were what drew us to the neighborhood. Three of our kids go to an amazing school outside of the bubble. The school community is close knit and diverse. We love the school and all the families we have met through the school. Sounds AWESOME doesn’t it! Oak trees and an amazing Christian school! But we have 4 kids not three, and the 4th has a 35 page IEP and right now cannot exist in a standard classroom setting without a coordination nightmare between the private school the other three go to and the public school. Sigh…..as I walked up to the door of the public elementary school our 4th will be attending next year, the kids were all out playing for recess. I saw three young black girls, hair beautifully done in braids with beads, standing together chatting on the sidewalk. I scanned the playground, and saw a lone group of Hispanic boys playing together at the base of the slide, and then, a sea of white. Together, yet apart, right here in small town America in 2012. And all those feelings of anger and frustration from my youth came flooding back. To get the quality of assistance she requires for her special needs, without moving far outside of the area, the school she will attend will be predominately white, and in addition, the kids she will interact with have segregated themselves based on race. Where does a little black girl who is being raised by white parents fit in? I already know the answer to this one. What I don’t know is what, if anything, we can do about it but be patient and wait to figure out God’s plan in all this.

The Prodigal Son - Rembrants Painting

I have had a little obsession with the prodigal son lately and as hard as I try, I can't seem to shake it as it seems to come up in different contexts. I originally used the parable to explain something that happened in December with the focus being on the son's return home and how we, just like God, should open our arms and forgive past events. A book then appeared at our adoration chapel in January that was titled "The Prodigal Son". The book focuses mainly on Rembrandt's painting "the Prodigal Son" and the characters that appear in it. Curiosity got the best of me and i picked it up and started reading. You see, lately, may of the blogs I read have put out pretty strong Christian calls to aid orphans in distress. I have seen horrible and terrifying photos of special needs children institutionalized, chained to bed, starving. God's children, neglected and in need. As the book points out, however, it is much easier to see the failures of the younger son in spending his fathers wealth and living a life of sin and his return seeking forgiveness than the elder's failures. The fact is, many people don't know or haven't seen what life is like for a child confined to an institution and so, as it is, it can be said, "I didn't know, I'm sorry, I should have done something" as the younger son. I see myself at the elder son whose failure is much more difficult to put a finger on. Outwardly, I have been faithful and dedicated to God's will in my life, making the choice to raise 4 beautiful kids over material things. The quote in the book that got me, however, was "Whenever my virtuous self is there, there also is the resentful complainer". Yes, me, the resentful complainer, the one that looks at all the expensive cars in our church parking lot and wonders where their treasure truly lies, the one that judges families whose first priority in their adoption is to have the youngest and healthiest infant available, never giving the children that have been waiting a second look, when we were, ourselves, at one time more focused on how many countries we could travel to rather than how many needy families we could sponsor and were in fact that same family that wanted a young healthy baby for our first adoption. In many ways, through my life journey, I have traveled beyond that "me" mentality, but in many ways, I have so far to go in accepting God's plan for my life and not complaining about how I see others not following God's plan or being resentful of choices they have made. God gave us free will, and each of us alone will have to explain what we did with that free will. I would rather not have to explain why I became a resentful complainer when there is so much good in my life.

Unhappiness

Today's Daily Devotional in Crosswalk was entitled "Unhappiness - A Tempting Choice". In leaving 2011 with great prospects for a lot of growth this year, we have had a rough beginning to 2012. It is so easy to be consumed by unhappiness when everything seems to be fighting against you. But it was comparing my short-term feeling of unhappiness where the Devotional really hit home and gave me a different perspective on how K may see the world, not on a short-term basis, but every day of her life. The Devotional said: "In his book The Great Divorce, C.S. Lewis explores this idea that we can become too attached to our brokenness. He sets up a fictional scenario where souls in hell get a second chance at heaven. But they ultimately do not choose heaven - they can't even enjoy heaven - due to their excessive attachment to hell. This seems downright crazy..... it's a very real trap we fall into every time we hold too tightly to our hurts and sorrows instead of releasing them to God." This SO hit home when I thought about the special breakfast that i had planned for just me and K last week. She LOVES food and eating, and it thought this would be a perfect chance to get some one on one time. As I sat across from her at the restaurant and watched her body language and listened to what she was saying, I was surprised how distracted she was. I could see, she wasn't enjoying herself. The wheels were turning. Was papa staying home with the other kids? Was she the only one that was going to school? Did papa take the other kids to breakfast? Was I going to leave her at the restaurant? (yes, I am serious, she asked me that). Holding on so tight to her hurts and sorrows, always the victim, attached to her hell. If I apply how I have felt over the past 3 weeks and try to imagine that unhappiness consuming me for days, weeks, years, impacting everything I do and say, is this how she sees her world?

Ahhh K, the pendulum swings again

After reading a friends blog, I got to thinking about how much K has progressed in the last year and a half, but how, like their son, something happens and you just get smacked upside the head, and the little house of cards comes tumbling down. We have struggled with pee since K came home. She was completely potty trained, so much so, that she very effectivly used the pee when it suited her, to get attention, to show displeasure with your clothes choice for her, and she knew it, she would give me this look and then piss her pants, wow! I don't even have words for what ran through me when she did that. After pulling out the therapudic parenting tricks of the trade, we had seemingly resolved most of those issues. But the pee remained, most notably, as soon as we put a pull up on her for the night, they gave her a free license not to have to hold it anymore (I might point out that she is wicked immune to the stuff possible because where she came from, reports have it that the smell of urine is overwhelming and I guess after awhile, you just don't smell it anymore). Seriously, pull up on, 15 min's later, pull up is wet???!! Come on! So it was time to jump into the deep end of the pool and start working on overnight toilet training, the pullups are gone and it is underwear and a waterproof pad. Amazingly, though we have a lot more laundry going on, the overnight training has helped her during the day, frequently, she would have 2-3 accidents a week at school and home and since we started the overnight thing, it is down to pretty much zero, yah!! for the little successes! There is nothing worse than pee soaked pants and underwear after they have been sitting in a closed plastic bag all day. That was until this morning when the zombie reappeared. Routine is get up in the morning, use the potty, get dressed, come down for breakfast. A quite awake K came down, was directed to the potty, stood flatly in the center of the bathroom and peed all over herself, the floor, the rug, just feet from the toilet, I found her, still frozen, standing in her own pee, staring at the wall, unphased by any of it. I know, I know, the puppet show at school yesterday freaked you out to the point that you pinched all your friends, and then everyone praising you this morning for making it all night and staying dry was too much when you have such a bad image of yourself that you need to mess it intentionally before it happens accidentally. The revised routine: get out of bed, go into bathroom, pee on your self, clean up your pee, come down for breakfast, start fresh and try again tomorrow.

Faith

Faith, for me, has been a sort of love-hate relationship. With 4 adoptions, my faith has been tested more times than I care to count. I always went into each adoption overflowing with faith, but often mid-stream, I am embarrassed to say, the cup ended up empty and I would put my energy into forcing my will on the situation, not relying on God's. Then something changed, maybe temporarily, but hopefully permanently, all this practice with faith was tested when a family member had emergency open heart surgery just before Christmas. I could have cried, I could have screamed, but driving up the morning of the surgery, listening to my favorite Christian music station and hearing songs of worship and praise, it was like it all came together in this immense peace that came over me that everything was going to be ok. This huge mountain would be moved and i just needed to trust in God. And I did, and everything was ok. So I started to wonder if this deeper sense of faith was going to stick around in me for awhile. We then watched as one of the Congo adoption families lost their son after a 7 month battle with leukemia and a few short days later, another Congo adoption family lost a daughter they will never hold to malaria. As a mom, even the passing thought of someone losing a child sends a lump in my throat so big I can barely swallow, and this was no different. I sat sobbing on our bed after kissing my 4 sleeping kids foreheads one more time that night. I cried for the families but also cried out of fear of the unbearable pain of losing a child. Then my grandma died at 96 yrs old, an amazing life lived to its fullest, surrounded by children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren and I praised God for the wonderful life she had lived and how her pain had been washed away and her senses restored, how she had been made anew through her baptism and faith and my heart rejoiced knowing she will see and hear the choirs of angels in heaven and that she was blessed, and that she had faith in God's plan for her. Pastel in a sea of black, light in a time of darkness and wondering.....this is my FAITH in my God and Savior.......my PEACE in a will that is His, not mine.....

Love the Higher Law

What an Iconic, Inspiring, Reflective, Epic song. Surely one of the best of all time. And if this version of the video can't help touch the coldest of hearts, nothing can.. The only thing left to say is. "Love the Higher Law"

Peace

(might want to pause the music player at the bottom of the blog before watching)

A hard topic, but one that needs to be heard...

We recently received this link from a friend.  It a hard topic.  One difficult to read and ponder.  Unless you are Mother Teresa, it probably hard not to find yourself within this article somewhere, somehow.  Hard not to feel guilty or angry or both.  If nothing else, minimally, its an interesting read.

You Carry the Cure In Your Own Heart

Peace

Happy New Year and Torching Ano Viejo

I'm all for any holiday traditions that involve torching something or throwing something on the roof, so I jumped at the idea of incorporating Ano Viejo, a Colombian tradition into our family traditions. Here are the steps:

1. Make a creepy looking doll out of old clothes and set on front porch for the week after Christmas or until the neighbors start whispering things about you.

2. Write all your baggage that you want to leave behind going into the New Year onto pieces of paper and stuff into creepy doll you have lovingly referred to as Ano Viejo during the past week (you know, I wonder if Ano Viejo is cold out there...I think Ano Viejo is staking me like a creepy clown, etc)

3. Now the best part! Torch that sucker!

Ano Viejo made me reflect on the finer points of our family and what makes us uniquely us:

Our kids walk around the house singing Le Mis.

Macaroni and Guacamole are the same thing here

We took 4 kids under 6 roller skating on Christmas Eve and no one broke a leg

We followed that by 3 kids under 5 at the dentist at the same time, done, done and done

Our Colombian daughter can Ethiopian shoulder dance and loves Doro Wat

There is a great debate currently whether what T & E saw whizzing by their heads in the basement was a bat or a bird.

Everyone calls nuts "gubas", its the only Lingala word we use, even when we are speaking Spanish, they are still gubas

Our 3 yr old has barfed everytime he has drank a mango lasse at our favorite Indian restaurant so he is now on a lasse-free diet

I caught myself before finishing the 8-mil e lyrics to "The Roof is on f ire" tonight

E2 loves telling the story about the time he fell off a camel on 'opia

The quote of the day is "Mom, can I have more rootbeer float? I horked down the first one"

I love my family!