Unhappiness

Today's Daily Devotional in Crosswalk was entitled "Unhappiness - A Tempting Choice". In leaving 2011 with great prospects for a lot of growth this year, we have had a rough beginning to 2012. It is so easy to be consumed by unhappiness when everything seems to be fighting against you. But it was comparing my short-term feeling of unhappiness where the Devotional really hit home and gave me a different perspective on how K may see the world, not on a short-term basis, but every day of her life. The Devotional said: "In his book The Great Divorce, C.S. Lewis explores this idea that we can become too attached to our brokenness. He sets up a fictional scenario where souls in hell get a second chance at heaven. But they ultimately do not choose heaven - they can't even enjoy heaven - due to their excessive attachment to hell. This seems downright crazy..... it's a very real trap we fall into every time we hold too tightly to our hurts and sorrows instead of releasing them to God." This SO hit home when I thought about the special breakfast that i had planned for just me and K last week. She LOVES food and eating, and it thought this would be a perfect chance to get some one on one time. As I sat across from her at the restaurant and watched her body language and listened to what she was saying, I was surprised how distracted she was. I could see, she wasn't enjoying herself. The wheels were turning. Was papa staying home with the other kids? Was she the only one that was going to school? Did papa take the other kids to breakfast? Was I going to leave her at the restaurant? (yes, I am serious, she asked me that). Holding on so tight to her hurts and sorrows, always the victim, attached to her hell. If I apply how I have felt over the past 3 weeks and try to imagine that unhappiness consuming me for days, weeks, years, impacting everything I do and say, is this how she sees her world?