Week Two - A Dose of Patience and Regression

Week two was T's last week home before returning to work this coming Tuesday. It was a big week for K as she went to her first PT appointment for her legs. In general, she is very weak in her core and her lower legs. Her stance, out of weakness, has caused her not to use her calves at all when she walks. We are beginning with some exercises to help her strengthen those muscles and some supportive shoes to help bring her feet back in. We will be trying the shoes for a couple of weeks and if her feet don't start coming in, then we will probably have to go to orthopedic shoes. We have seen some regression on the potty training front. She has started to become resistant to using the potty and has a few accidents of the #1 type every day. She must be horrified by the thought of #2 in her pants as she is sure to let us know when she needs to do that! OH and we confirmed the visit of the unwelcome friend from the DRC in her poo (the local health dept was right on top of that and called min's later to grill T about our occupations etc). Gross liquid given and now poo is bright green!

There have been a lot of "yam-beees!" (hugs) in the house over the past week while to boys and K get to know eachother. K visited E2 at his daycare for a few hours later in the week and had a blast playing in the sand box with him and the other kids. She kept her eye out, every so often to make sure E2 was still there. Those two were born to be brother and sister I think. She talks about him like a million times a day in Lingala. All I hear is "blah blah blah...E2...blah blah blah...E2"! Play breakthrough when she initiated play with E2 and they both started jumping spontaneously on the couch and busting a move!

It has been a tough hair week. Was hoping for some outside help as I am really struggling with to get a cute style that works with the fact that she must have had a 3" diameter bald spot on the back of her head just a few months ago, so I am dealing with 3" hair in like a halo around her head and 1/4" long hair in the back. I am certainly no expert, and the various lengths have got me pulling my own hair out. I did cornrowed twists and left the back loose for the week in hopes that it might grow in a bit. Big day on Monday with our court date for her readoption, so a new style is in full swing as of this morning. Did beads in front and will be doing box braids tomorrow. DID YOU HEAR THAT WORLD?? I DID BEADS!!!! (and am happy to report that an hour later the beads are still in!)

My mommy sense is still lighting up with the indiscriminate affection she is showing to other women who are basically strangers. We have spend a lot of cuddling time and face to face time this week, but found myself having to step in with the PT when the amount of affection she was showing towards her felt inappropriate in my option, especially given that I was sitting right there.

We have had a few battles of will this week, but overall much progress has been made over last week. In general, we are over booked horribly. After talking with a few people, I think that might be leading towards some of the anxiety I am having. For now, no more restaurants or get togethers added to the schedule. We need to crawl into our cocoon for a bit and just get to know eachother. This coming week with really be the first time K and I will be spending along together so I am looking forward to some bonding, fun and challenges.

Picture is K letting out one of her first "high pitch" girl squeals. And yes, my ears were ringing afterwards like I had been at a rock concert.

One Week Home - Trials and Triumps

Wow! It is hard to believe that K has been home for only one week! With this post, I am going to try and be as open and honest as possible because there have been some big ups and some low downs the worst of which happened two days after she arrived when I announced to everyone at work that I planned to crawl under my desk and wait for the storm to pass. It has certainly been harder on me than with the boys who came home as babies, and the fact that I am trying, this time, to juggle time at work with time at home has left me totally and completely exhausted. It often feels like I am doing an extra poor job at both, but at the same time, getting away from the house and focusing on work for a day or so have helped to keep me sane.

I guess a lot of what I am feeling has to do with expectations. As a 3 yr old, I expected K to be able to do a lot herself, like climb up stairs, into a car seat, onto a toilet, like our 2.5 yr old can do. We are quickly realizing that she is not much different than a 12 month old in her abilities. She has no muscle tone in her lower body, can't walk for long periods of time, can't run, can't climb, so it is kind of like having a 30 lb 12 month old, she is pretty much dead weight if she falls. We were able to get into a pediatric orthopedic this past week and found out that at least the physical bones, etc are ok. She will start seeing a physical therapist this week. The issues with her legs, coupled with her not knowing how to "play" have been challenging. I termed it couch potato syndrome. Even with the two boys (thank god for our 2 boys, because if this would have been our first child, the challenge to get her up and moving would be even greater), she would much rather sit on her rump than actively participate in play. We all continue to encourage her to participate, but it is clear that her preference is to sit around on the couch. On a scooter, she can only go backwards and after 2 challenging hair-don't's, I realized that there is a circle about 3" in diameter in which the hair is only about 1/4" long. Both of these seem to point to the fact that she must have been laying on her back until she was quite old.

So the good, yes, there is good and lots of it. She is funny and engaging, she loves to be tickled and loves holding your face and giving lots of kisses. She comes over for comfort and has no issues looking us right in our eyes. A lot of the issues with attachment that I would have expected don't seem to be there. She will show indiscriminate affection, which is something we are working on, but overall, for just a week home, she is doing amazing. She has slept through every night and comes in with the boys to our bedroom in the morning to cuddle. And she is making progress. She is getting stronger with her legs, her sinus infection has cleared up and we are pumping in the iron to help with the anemia. Progress is definitely in a forward momentum. E1 has shown that he is a great big brother and he has been there to help her or show her something new. E2 has shown a bit of a jealous streak, and K and E2 and had some knock down drag outs over toys, but nothing out of the ordinary. We have ventured out to a restaurant, walmart, and a city festival with all three in tow and survived to tell the tale.

Lots of challenges I am sure we will face in the coming weeks, but at the end of this one, I no longer want to crawl under my desk, so that is a very good thing.

A daily two-for..

I was torn. I was moved by the first reading, as well as by today's gospel. With so much time on my hands, its just natural to think more and reflect deeper. Of course I understand that we can never (ourselves) fully understand the written word. But we can be moved by it. The Holy Spirit can inspire our thoughts and actions by it, even if its not to be taken literally.

Lord I know I am not willfully the servant that simply buried the coin. I know I attempt in all ways I know to allow your gifts to grow fruitful and multiply. I know I have the desire for your gifts to grow in, with, and through me. But I am human. Without you I am nothing. Only through you can I succeed in serving my purpose.

Today's (bonus) Reading of the day...

Mt 25:14-30

Jesus told his disciples this parable:
“A man going on a journey
called in his servants and entrusted his possessions to them.
To one he gave five talents; to another, two; to a third, one–
to each according to his ability.
Then he went away.
Immediately the one who received five talents went and traded with them,
and made another five.
Likewise, the one who received two made another two.
But the man who received one went off and dug a hole in the ground
and buried his master’s money.
After a long time
the master of those servants came back and settled accounts with them.
The one who had received five talents
came forward bringing the additional five.
He said, ‘Master, you gave me five talents.
See, I have made five more.’
His master said to him, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant.
Since you were faithful in small matters,
I will give you great responsibilities.
Come, share your master’s joy.’
Then the one who had received two talents also came forward and said,
‘Master, you gave me two talents.
See, I have made two more.’
His master said to him, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant.
Since you were faithful in small matters,
I will give you great responsibilities.
Come, share your master’s joy.’
Then the one who had received the one talent came forward and said,
‘Master, I knew you were a demanding person,
harvesting where you did not plant
and gathering where you did not scatter;
so out of fear I went off and buried your talent in the ground.
Here it is back.’
His master said to him in reply, ‘You wicked, lazy servant!
So you knew that I harvest where I did not plant
and gather where I did not scatter?
Should you not then have put my money in the bank
so that I could have got it back with interest on my return?
Now then! Take the talent from him and give it to the one with ten.
For to everyone who has,
more will be given and he will grow rich;
but from the one who has not,
even what he has will be taken away.
And throw this useless servant into the darkness outside,
where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth.’”

May the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way...

We are called...

There is a song by Jars of Clay "Take my world apart" that also sums up quite well the same meaning (at least for me) that is within the message of today's first reading. But for my own take on it...

Lord I've given up all my pride (at least as best as I know how). I've opened my heart (at best as I am able). I'm raw and exposed, lifting my hands up to you. In thanks, and in petition. Speak Lord (in way that these human ears and eyes can understand) for your servant is listening. Is it time? It the cup filled yet, such that it might be poured out according to your will.. I feel that I am ready..

Today's Reading of the day is ...

1 Cor 1:26-31

Consider your own calling, brothers and sisters.
Not many of you were wise by human standards,
not many were powerful,
not many were of noble birth.
Rather, God chose the foolish of the world to shame the wise,
and God chose the weak of the world to shame the strong,
and God chose the lowly and despised of the world,
those who count for nothing,
to reduce to nothing those who are something,
so that no human being might boast before God.
It is due to him that you are in Christ Jesus,
who became for us wisdom from God,
as well as righteousness, sanctification, and redemption,
so that, as it is written,
Whoever boasts, should boast in the Lord.

May the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way...

Don't know the day or the hour..

Its been a reoccurring within Mathew's Gospel as of late. But it seems to fit the situation somewhat. Today's Reading.

Reading of the Day...

Matthew 25:13

Therefore, stay awake, for you know neither the day nor the hour

May the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.

Close to 200 Women Raped Near UN Base in Congo

Click here to read the story:
http://abcnews.go.com/International/wirestory?id=11459942&page=1

Long closing but good closing..

For those that know me, I usually close emails with "Peace" or "May the Peace of our Lord be with you today and everyday". In today's readings there is a new version of that. I like it. Its a tad on the long side. But its Nice. Today's Reading (snippet) is:

Reading of the Day...

2 Thes 3:16

May the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.

So I'll close with...

May the Lord of Peace himself give you peace at all times, and in every way... (nice!!!)

The Word for Today

Technically it was yesterday. Anyway..

Reading of the day...
2 Thes 1:1-5,11-12

We ought to thank God always for you, brothers and sisters, as is fitting, because your faith flourishes ever more, and the love of every one of you for one another grows ever greater. Accordingly, we ourselves boast of you in the churches of God regarding your endurance and faith in all your persecutions and the afflictions you endure.
This is evidence of the just judgment of God, so that you may be considered worthy of the Kingdom of God for which you are suffering.
We always pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling and powerfully bring to fulfillment every good purpose and every effort of faith, that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, in accord with the grace of our God and Lord Jesus Christ

Peace
Ted

Things that make you go Hmmmm.

Before settling down for bed. With little to occupy a whole day, i opted to catch up on the daily daily readings i brought along. From yesterdays mass (didnt catch much as it was in French) is the 2nd reading. While its not good to read directly into things.... ahh seems pretty relevant and current. Today's reading is from Hebrews.

Reading of the day...

Hebrews 12:5-8,11
You have forgotten the exhortation addressed to you as children: “My son, do not disdain the discipline of the Lord or lose heart when reproved by him;

for whom the Lord loves, he disciplines; he scourges every son he acknowledges.”

Endure your trials as “discipline”; God treats you as sons. For what “son” is there whom his father does not discipline?

At the time, all discipline seems a cause not for joy but for pain, yet later it brings the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who are trained by it.

Peace

Reading of the day...

wow two days in a row with a valuable message. Guess its time to listen.. The Reading of the days is:

Readings of the day..

Ezekiel 36:23-27
...when in their sight I prove my holiness through you.

For I will take you away from among the nations, gather you from all the foreign lands, and bring you back to your own land.

I will sprinkle clean water upon you to cleanse you from all your impurities, and from all your idols I will cleanse you.

I will give you a new heart and place a new spirit within you, taking from your bodies your stony hearts and giving you natural hearts.

I will put my spirit within you and make you live by my statutes, careful to observe my decrees.

Peace Ted