Its a Good Morning

I'm sorry, if you don't lifted up, more cheerful, and ready to face the day after listening to this, then you likely don't have a pulse.  Been quite a few morning lately that I would have needed to hear this.  5 Star shout out Mandisa!  Thanks for great song.

Hope you have a Good Morning (too)

Peace

A Headphones on kinda day

Today is a headphones on kinda day.  The kind in which you just tune into all the songs that help you to recharge, relax, refocus.  The kinda songs to calm your mind and body and reawaken your Spirit.

Yep.  Its one of those kinda days.
Peace

A unique view of suffering...

Tri for Hope, Sacrifice with Purpose...

Its right there in the name.  I've found myself sharing the sentiment with others recently.  Namely with regards to some of the races I registered for, and my goals and expectations for them.  Its not about the time, or the training, or a PR.  Its about the effort.  I repeat it often.  Since I am offering up my "effort", my goals are to have a great effort.

Sitting in Adoration, I came across this excerpt from "The Diary of St. Faustina" (343)

True Love is measured by the thermometer if suffering.  Jesus, I thank you for the little daily crosses, for opposition to my endeavors, for the hardships of communal life, for the misinterpretation of my intentions, for humiliations at the hands of others, for the harsh way in which we are treated, for false suspicions, for poor health and lack of strength, for self-denial, for dying to myself, for the lack of recognition in everything, for the upsetting of all my plans.

Now granted, St Faustina is a Saint. She perhaps her perspective is something to aspire to.  Since at least for me, thinking, considering, and accepting of all those daily trials as a gift, as and opportunity...  well that is just easier said than done isn't it.

Peace

Catch My Breath - A therapeutic parenting view?

A day in the Life of an everyday family.  A day in the Life of a everyday family with Children having experienced trauma a very early age.  For those that know, they already know.  For those those don't, they many never know.  You walk, fall, get up.  Walk backwards, fall, get up.  Walk forward, fall again, and get up again.  This is our path, until you find something that sorta works. Something that at least works in that moment.  You learn to tune out all the "helpful" advice from those they don't quite "get it".  You learn to ignore the looks, the stares, judgments, and expressions from strangers observing how we carry ourselves.

[We..our kids] don't wanna be left behind.  Distance was a friend of mine [theirs].  Catching breath in a web of lies 

[We] spend most of our life, Riding waves, playing acrobat.  Shadowboxing the other half [our other half trying to force us into neurotypical, traditional parenting paradigms]. Learning how to react. 

[Where we are all striving to be and get to, if only for a few moments each day]
Addicted to the love [We] found.  Heavy heart, now a weightless cloud.  [We'll] spend the rest of [our] time.  Laughing hard with the windows down.  Leaving footprints all over town.  Keeping Faith Karma comes around

Catching [our] Breath, no one can hold [us] back, [We] ain't got time for that.

You [God] help me see. The beauty in everything [and sometimes you cannot imagine how hard that can be when you see what we see day in/day out]

Catching [our] Breath, letting it go [as Christine says.. just Breath!!], turning [our] cheeks for the sake of the show.  Now that you know, this is [our] lives, [We] won't be told it's supposed to be right. 

Catching [our] Breath, no one can hold [us] back, [We] ain't got time for that.

I heard this song on the radio the other day, and its been stuck, swirling around the old fish bowl noggin.  Downloaded it from Amazon and listened to the lyrics more.  Can't say what Ms Clarkson's reasons for the lyrics are, but they fit nicely into my view of the mindset of this therapeutic parent.  

Peace

Hot and Hot ... but mission accomplished

So completed my first triathlon in 4 years.  Did not have many expectations as I didnt get to the pool very often, and I only got the bike on the road once.  That said, despite some wicked heat and humidity, I did "suffer" through it.  That was goal, and whilst I was thinking about how hard it was, and how I really wasnt enjoying it, I was offering it up.   In the end it was a pretty respectable day for the conditions, and the conditions of my left achilles.

I finish in 2:53:27.  My swim was a very respectable 34min, my bike (as expected was slow) at 1:19:11 with a 18.8mph pace (in years past I would hold a 20 to 21mph pace).  My run was rough, but I expected it to be with the achilles acting up.  My body told me to take walking breaks or it was going to stop listening to me, so I listed to it.  I ended up with the 57:04 on the run, for a 9:12pace.

All in all.  Its was an interesting day. I am not sorry I did it, but if there were thought about this race kick starting my triathlon bug, that did not happen :)   Still would rather run 15+ miles through some hills and streams. 

Thank you Lord for the strength and endurance in my body.  I hope you will except my efforts today, and ease the burden on someone in much greater need.

Peace

3 years and two kids later...

Its been since 2009, and before two adoptions, that I've done my last Triathlon.  I cannot believe it has been that long.  I guess that is what family life, young kids, and Fatherhood will do to you.  It relegates you to running in the weeee, dark hours of the morning.  With the blessing of my better half,  J suggested (demanded more like) that I signup for a TRI in the Great White North.  Well of course I will need a "warm up tri".  So its coming up.  Hope that Achilles in the left leg is up for it.  An Olympic tri, first since the Chicago (Accenture Tri) in 2009.  That took me 2:39:06.  I will surely be slower than that, and that's OK.  With a leg that is giving me pause, no real bike/road training, and only about 6 trips to the pool.  We'll see how it goes.

As the blog name says..

Tri for Hope, Sacrifice with Purpose...


I intend to.

All Quiet on the Eastern Front...

Hours into days.  Days into more days.  Perhaps into weeks.  But who's counting?  not me.  At times you just need to ask yourself, or consider for yourself, what important to carry around.  What sorta "baggage" do you want.  What can you tolerate.  Baggage from work.  From Hobbies. From Friends. From Homework. Yardwork.  From whatever. 

So many people (from my perch) seems to just carry so much.  I can't judge or pick on them.  I surely still do at times, but in all honestly.  I do it so little.  What did you do last week?  I shrug my shoulders.  I dunno.  When was the last time "fill in the blank" happened?  Um..  I dunno.  A few day? weeks?  Ask me about yesterday.  I can answer that.  The day before.  Probably.  3 or 4 days ago.. I'm gonna have to pause and ponder.

Our home is a wonderful concert.  The crescendo in our home can make much people's head spin.  But following that is a calm and peace that if it lasts can be refreshing. 

The home is quiet (OK I helps that I've lost my voice).

The nuggets are adjusting into summer break, quite will if I don't say so myself.

I've heard some compassion coming from the mouths of the nuggets, which is nice to hear.

I've noticed that there is more ink in the house.  Then again more chalk dust also.

The dog, our horse Kowalski, has his summer "pant" on and its not even gotten that hot.

I don't keep track or score anymore (except of course that the Blackhawks are up 2-0 in the Western Conference Finals).  When will the calm end.  Dunno. Maybe tomorrow.  After all, its a new day, ripe for the plucking.  Who knows whether the fruit is ripe, or still sour. But for now...

All is Quiet on the Eastern Front...

Peace

Livesay [Haiti] Weblog: the ongoing adoption ethics discussion

What an excellent article and point being made here.  Just wanted to share...

Livesay [Haiti] Weblog: the ongoing adoption ethics discussion

An Open Letter To Moms from Kid President

'Nuff said!

Peace

Just try to imagine..

The other day I received a sort of guided imagery scenario.  Not for relaxation, but to provide a glimpse into a window, a scary window most never consider.

Imagine you are dropped into Iraq with nothing.  You dont speak the language. You are not dressed appropriately.  Not for the conditions.  Not for the region.  No food.  No water.  What do you do?  Stay put?  Walk and look around?  Walk and look for help?  Since you dont know the language or the body language and mannerisms are you even able to recognize if someone is offering you help, or is threatening you?  If you decide they are trying to help, do you accept it?  or shy from it since you are clearly a White/Westerner, and frankly you are not in Kansas anymore. If you turn the help down are you in more danger,  more jeopardy?  If you accept the help do you allow yourself to trust the person helping you?  Or while accepting the help are you immediately looking for an path of escape if needed. Trying to take in every site, sound, smell, in case it can help to save your life.  Do you risk sleeping?  If you do, is it restful or fitful?  How long can you keep this up.  Its likely horribly exhausting physically, and mentally/emotionally crushing.  How many days can you keep it up?  One?  Two?  Ten?  A Month?  If you were stuck in a world that was foreign; a world you did not understand; a world that didnt understand you; could you be happy? would you forget what its like to be happy?  What if, you never knew what happiness was prior to this?  What view would you have of the world?  If you suddently treated kindly and with Respect; with Love.  Would you even know it?

This is the world that our Kids with trauma have.  Living in a constant war zone.  Unable to control anything.  Those that had such rough starts that its really not possible to fully understand the horrors they have faced.  When the best thing you can say about your entire childhood is that at least your mother cared enough to carry you to term rather than abort you, but not enough to care before, during, or after your birth.

How scary a window is that to look through.  These kids might be 5 or they might be 15 or even 30.   Love can heal many wounds.  But Human love (shaking my head negatively, I think) can only go so far.   Perhaps divine Love can heal all wounds, and when they say "All you need is Love", if its divine, maybe they are right.

I salute you Parents of Trauma.  Few can begin to grasp the depth of the challenges you face each hour of each day.  And that cost extracted from them.