Driving Myself to the Mad House!

Well it has been a few days since the news about the little girl we had hope to adopt broke and I think I am in a worse spot now than two days ago. We had a surprise 40th b-day party for T on Sunday. There was so much hustle and bustle after the Christmas Holiday, that it was hard to call a time out given that we had just returned from WI the day before and I jumped right into cooking, shopping and planning for T's birthday party, to make matters worse, all of which was accomplished during the worst snow storm of the year which made a quick trip to the grocery store an hour venture. I am so thankful for all the friends and family that attended the party and helped out once we arrived and discovered that the park district had not shoveled and T's mom and I were frantically shoveling the 200' +/- to the door of the facility only to find out they had turned the heat way down and the building was freezing (I didn't notice the cold at first given the fact that I was now a pile of sweat from the shoveling exercise). At least the food was good and the kids enjoyed putting together the gingerbread houses with their mittens and coats on.
So here I am, today, three days after our adoption coordinator called T, wondering why my first thought when he told me the news was happiness for the little girl, that she will be able to be raised with birth relatives, followed closely by my second thought of the three waiting siblings we talked to another agency about. Followed by my third thought of "am I mad!". In the last three days, I have had the scheme all worked out, talk to our adoption coordinator, have her talk to the attorney, have him meet with the attorney that represents these kids, work out the paperwork so we can adopt them and bring them home and live happily ever after. Never mind that the HS and USCIS approval would be for 2 not 3 kids, we could figure that out.....and the little voice again whispers...."are you MAD!" If this were God's will and not mine, things would have worked out, and try as I may I can't force it to become God's will. I commiserated with my good friend at work this morning who is also ready to take the wheel and lead the charge in her situation. I asked her to see what the "Today God is First" inspiration was before either of us do anything crazy...here is the summation "Have you ever been tempted to use your power, skill, and ability to force a situation to happen, perhaps even out of anger? God is calling us to use prayer to move the face of mountains. The force of our ability is not satisfactory. God is calling each of us to a new dimension of walking with Him. Pray that God will give you the grace to wait on Him and not take matters into your own hands. Then you will not be in jeopardy of failing to move into the Promised Land in your life." Yah, I get it God. Thanks for the reminder!