A Hard Lesson in December Giving

Our December of Giving took an unexpected time out due to a family illness and a number of revised plans. We had been collecting items for a shelter for abused women and their children since December began and today seemed as good a time as any to get the items over to the shelter. E1 was down with a fever and when the other three quickly put on their coats at the thought of going out, I gladly agreed as it seems that any experiences that they can see first hand who they are giving to has a much greater impact that just sending something off in the mail. We all got out of the car and I pulled out the laundry basket with the donations. E2 carried a decoration, K carried the gingerbread house and I tried to get N to carry the oranges. She quickly decided against it and insisted she wanted to carry the barbie. I should have seen where this was headed as soon as she went for the barbie and given her something else, but alas, hindsight, we got in the door and I was a little taken aback by the tone of the lady behind the desk who barked "It's all NEW right?!!?", ah yah, I answered, she called another lady from the back to come up and get the items and E2 and K quickly give me the items to put in the basket, N, not so much...then began the drama, the tears were flowing and continued when we got back in the car. It was again a hard lesson for N about the meaning of Christmas and wasn't the first as we embarked on the December of Giving. Lots of explanations in Spanish about what Christmas is and why Christmas is about giving and not receiving. The thing I always find interesting about these talks with her is that she always tells me she doesn't have any toys. I part wonder if this is a kid thing, or if she really doesn't think anything in our house is hers, even though things have specifically been given to her and we have told her many times that clothes, shoes and toys are hers, but she is not yet at the point of believing it. Either way, this is a marathon, not a sprint and as she grows and owns us more as her forever family, this perception will change as will her understanding that giving is more important as receiving.

Luke 15:11-32

As we approach Christmas, remembering the lesson of Luke 15:

"You are always with me and everything I have is yours, but we celebrate and are glad because this brother of yours was dead and is now alive again, he was lost and now found"

Ask for forgiveness and you will be forgiven and will be welcomed home into God's kingdom with open arms.

How do you spell Christmas?

In our house we spell it C H R I S T.

Joshua 24:15
"If it is displeasing to you to serve the LORD, choose today whom you will serve, ... As for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”

3110 down.. thousands more to go.

Day by Day.
Step by Step.
Stride by Stride
Stroke by Stroke
Mile by Mile

3110 miles completed on my mileage journey to Kinshasa, in the Democratic Republic of Congo.  Lately I have been reasonably disciplined on getting on my trainer in the basement. Supplement that with an occasional run, and some treadmill miles at the fitness center.  I am about 100 miles per week.  Even at that pace.  I will still be 39 weeks until I reach the DRC.  Oi!!

Follow that up with the 2704 to Bogota Columbia (that might be adjusted for Bucaramanga).  I've got a solid year minimum of effort.  Of Sacrifice.  Trials.  Challenges.

But that's what this is all about.  I'm not looking for a cakewalk through life.  Yes a break now and then, sure.  That said, the Lord gave me legs, endurance, fortitude, and if offering up some effort or soreness or aches-n-pains via  some miles results in aid to even one person... It will be an effort most worthwhile for me.  And so I ...

Tri for Hope, Sacrifice with purpose

Peace

World Vision Sponsor Kids Holiday Cards

A little behind due to an unexpected flu bug that reared it's ugly head on Saturday, but the kids were able to put together their holiday gifts to send to their World Vision sponsor friends. Having children from four different countries and cultures it has always been on our minds the importance of doing something concrete to support another family from our children's birth countries in hopes that that family may not have to make the same difficult decision some of our children's birthparents did in order to feed themselves or other children already in their home, so with each adoption, we have also "adopted" a sponsor kid from the country they came from. Through World Vision, as we saw when we met our sponsor child in Ethiopia, the families are not given handouts, but opportunities for schooling, businesses and clean and safe drinking water that they themselves run and maintain. In the area our sponsor child from Ethiopia is from, their main staple is false banana, which is a terrible tasting starch with little nutritional value, many of the children are malnourished. World Vision's work in the area has brought in a multitude of vegetable crops and fruit trees that are being grafted and sold for profit by residents in the area such as our sponsor child's grandfather who he lives with. In addition, he is also able to go to school and even showed us some of his school work when we met him after getting over the initial shock of all the ferenges! So the kids spent some time making Christmas cards and a care package for their sponsor child from their birth country and really took the task to heart knowing their friend will enjoy the package they packed for Christmas.

Toy Drive

December 10, 2011

The kids spent Friday night gathering up toys they don't play with to give to children in need. They really did well parting with the toys and made a lot of the decisions themselves without much prompting. E2 jumped right in and helped papa sort through items. E1 was clearly more attached to some of the items even if they hadn't been used in quite some time. Most of the girls things are pretty new as we really have only had girls toys for about a year, whereas the boys toys have been accumulating since they were babies, but all in all, we had a trunk full of toys that will hopefully be loved and cherished for years to come by new families. E1, E2 and K helped papa drop them off Saturday morning before soccer at the fire station. Great job guys!

Refugee Family Daycare

December 8, 2011

E2 and I volunteered today at a refugee daycare for kids learning English. They were pretty much adorable and we had a great time playing around. Having a daughter from the DRC, I could see some real fear and trauma in their faces and could feel the isolation as some of them look at the toys as foreign objects, unsure and unable to socialize with their peers and engage in play. E2, was pretty much a non participant. I had talked it up ahead of time as him being my helper, but once in the room, he made a bee line for the matchbox cars and never looked back. He did help clean the tables after snack time, so that technically qualified as "helper", but beyond that, he was pretty checked out and I think he was thinking and wondering when I might bolt for the door leaving him in the room full of kids that spoke little English. We are on the schedule again for next week but perhaps in a different class room, we will see. They will be doing a Christmas concert the following day which I imagine will be interesting with a class of trauma and fearful children trying to sing in English. A pray is going to be needed before that one. The strangest part of the day happened when we were coming back from the gym and a little girl passed us in the hall, she is like the identical twin of K, same age same built, same face, same hair, it was unnerving, she had a good 10 lbs on K, but still, a bit freaky. Unfortunately, as we left, a killer migraine was coming on and with no excedrin in hand, the 40 min. drive home was a nightmare as the migraine was raging by the time we got home, causing me to collapse on the couch and beg E2 to come cuddle with me which he would for 30 seconds until he decided he forgot something and would get up elbowing me in the stomach.....relaxing time to rest my head....ehh, not so much. Managed to hit the dollar store and stock up for our care packages for our World Vision sponsor kiddos which should be a fun activity for the weekend along with the toy drive.

A December of Giving

This December, we are doing something a little different. As the kids are getting older, it becomes more and more important that we live by example. So this December, we are seeking out opportunities where the kids can be directly involved in showing love, care, compassion and giving of themselves to serve others instead of just sending money. This journey started out as 12 days of giving, but with school schedules, that looked to be pretty difficult, so instead of setting a number, we are going to call it our December of Giving which kicked off tonight. I hope you will follow along with us as we learn by trail and error what work best and what lights the fire of 4 kids under the age of 6!

December 5, 2011 - Animal Shelter Volunteer Night

N helped on the Saturday before to pick out items to donate off the animal shelter's wish list. T packed up the gang after school Monday and we headed out to the shelter. The boys went with papa first to walk a few of the dogs while the girls and I settled in in the kitten room playing, cuddling and socializing the new kittens. The staff brought K and N an older kitten that one of the team thought was too far along to becoming feral and would be difficult to adopt. The girls both took turns petting the kitten. The vet was very happy at how the kitten responded to them and their touch. The boys stayed a bit in the kitten room after walking the dogs then headed into the adult cat room as that room was more active and the boys enjoyed playing more with the cats. One of the cats hopped on Teds lap and refused to leave, I said I think he thought, if I don't move, maybe this sucker won't realize I have permanently affixed myself to his leg. The girls and I headed over after a bit and loved on the older cats, one missing an eye and others clearly abused before they came to the shelter. One was an unbelievable look alike of my cat zoiee it was almost creepy. I think at one point the kids thought I had actually taken her to the shelter and that she hadn't died. After some poop scooping, it was time to hit the road as there was homework to be done. Overall, it worked well with the 4 kids and they listened to the instructions and followed what they needed to do for the most part, the only almost catastrophe was when E2 ran into the adult cat room and left the door wide open trying to get me to help with his jacket... luckily, no one escaped, at least I don't think so.......

World AIDS Day - Spread the TRUTH!

Turn off music before playing

Today's Therapeutic guide to Parenting

Rules to Live by, at least for November 30th, 2011 at 1:02 am

fun before frustration
sympathetic before sarcasm
accepting before anger
serene before screaming [yelling]
thankful before tirade

Others?

Lost. But almost back in the Saddle

After an Epic period of inactivity (I'm not a complete and utter fitness maniac, far from it), we are talking just over 2 months.  Wait I take that back.  If you ignore the 6 runs (mostly under 6 miles) that I did upon returning from Colombia, its been over 3 months.  I've decided to  stoke the fires and try to get back into some kinda shape.  No not really training for anything.  Just need to get that piece of the Trivial Pursuit pie back into it place.  Balance.  You know.

While I've still not really broken through on the running, I have managed to get into a quasi routine into taking some cardio classes at the fitness center.  Plus I've dusted off, and pumped up the tires on the trainer in the basement.  I've road enough that all my "old" saved Prison Break Episodes are over.   I can't bring myself to ride to kids movies, though I enjoy many of them.   So I borrowed "Lost" Season I.

I've never watched a single episode.  I was also interested, but it seemed like one of those series where if you missed a bunch of it, well, you'd be lost.  So now I've got my video's to watch.  And I'm getting the blood flowing again.  Hopefully enough to get the metabolism up just in time of the Holidays season grazing.  

So I was Lost.  But now I'm found.  Ok ok. that was bad.  How about this.  I'm back in the Saddle again...

With a cough cough here and a sniff sniff there...

We are still here if anyone is still reading this! LOL! It has been a tough fall with the battle of the illnesses around here. Poor N is so behind on her vaccine schedule, the first round hit her with about a 104.5 fever as a result of the MMR vaccine (we believe) but whose to know for sure given that a virus was going around that same time with the same high grade fever?? All I know is that none of the rest of us got it so I'm blaming the MMR. Exactly 4 days after she had the Varicella vaccine, E2 got shingles, oh that little man was in a heap of pain, 2 nights with ear plugs for mama and very little sleep trying to comfort him as he cried through the night. Turn out, not all that uncommon for someone who had the chicken pox when he was a month old! We also had our first conference with the early childhood center for K. Their IEP evaluation was really accurate and they are really getting a sense of what works and what doesn't work for her. I am continually amazed by the whole Early Childhood Center staff and program. They really "get" her and have put some many things together , I am just blown away. Maybe it's my engineering mind, but I never felt the explanation of "insecure attachment" was the be all to end all explanation of her behaviors we were given by her therapist. For example, one of the things we could never figure out was why she would just out of no where, bite another kid. It made sense when she was in some sort of disagreement with the person but the random acts never made sense to just explain away as her feeling insecure. As it turns out, she has trouble reading faces. She gets happy and sad, but emotions like excitement or surprise, so reads as mad. WOW! Its like the light went on and in my engineering brain, it all makes sense. She wasn't randomly attacking these kids, when she saw them running for a toy all excited, she very well perceived their expression as mad and a threat so she was protecting herself! There have been many more of these nuggets over the past few weeks and I feel like a lot she is making more and more sense to me and how she reacts to situations. Its all good stuff.

I am trying to put together some form of a 12 days of giving for the kiddos for December. I got the idea from another Congo mama who did it last year, but am having trouble coming up with 12 things that would be meaningful and interactive for our young kids. There are certainly not a shortage of needs, but many of the volunteer activities are better suited for older kids. Like they love animals but I figure an animal shelter would let a 3 yr old around stray animal? Looking for some creative ideas if anyone has some.

Forgiveness - Is it enough?

We were talking the other day about forgiveness and my heart and mind immediately went to thinking of K. It has been a hard few months for the two of us. So much of Colombia with her was about survival for me. It was a difficult situation with all the stressors from our Colombia adoption, to be therapeutic parenting one daughter while trying to bond with the other. Not an ideal situation in the least. And I have probably second guessed my decision to keep K in Colombia the entire time about a million times at this point because I am having trouble seeing what it accomplished. I had the patience of a saint with her for most of the trip, calmly singing to her and talking her off the ledge while she raged, scratched, hit and basically took out her anger and frustration on me. Coming home I just felt I needed a break. I had swallowed everything she had thrown at me and just couldn't take any more. I asked myself again and again, had I forgiven her for trying to make my life a living hell in Colombia and the answer was always yes. Its not like she was doing it on purpose, she has so little control over herself and her emotions that it all just spilled over in fits of rage. Yes, I have forgiven her. But I realized the other night that I needed more than just to forgive her. I had built a wall between us. While I LOVE having my 4 yr old slam her head into my chest hundreds of times while screaming at the top of her lungs so all of Bogota could hear her, I had reached my limit and the thought of doing a time-in with her so she could beat me up again was just something I couldn't even force myself to think about less doing. Forgiveness is one thing, but opening my heart to let her beat the breath out of me is another. Then I realized, she can't heal without my love and I can't love her though this wall. So my only option is to let the wall down and open myself again to love her though the hurt and pain she will try and drag me down with. I stopped the other day and watched her, wandering, expressionless at the Pumpkin Farm while all the other kids laughed and played and for the first time, since we got home, saw the brokeness under the anger and felt the wall between us coming down.

Untitled

Update from a Walled Castle

Sigh...big sigh....every week I look forward to spending Thursday on some great adventure with E2 and I find myself today logging into work and writting a blog post as we impliment a new disipline technique in the family which entails putting up a wall between yourself and the offender until they attone for the their actions. So we are going on 4 hours and while E2 plays unaffected, I am on the verge of tears missing my day with my little man. Yes it is necessary, and yes it is needed. E2 has gone too far with what papa and his teacher call his stubbornness which I am pretty sure it rooted in the trauma he experineced in his little life, but alas, here we sit with the hours ticking by and no budging on his side...sigh...big sigh...On a lighter note, K is settling into her 3rd preschool in a month after the other two could no longer deal with her behavioral problems. This is a smaller home daycare and seems to be a better setting that doesn't lump her into a 4 yr old catagory, but addresses each of her needs at the level she is at. We also completed her assessment through the early childhood program at our school district and YAHHHH!!! She qualifies for services!!!! 2 1/2 hours every day! We had a long meeting yesterday with so much info provided I thought for sure my brain was going to explode afterwards but the plan that they have for her to meet goals was dead on and we have great hopes that working wiht the new daycare, our behavioralist, and the school district that she will have the resources she needs to grow and mature and fit into a class room setting. Now onto the next issues which is that our 4 yr old aka E2 is the size of a 2 yr old and hasn't grown in the last year. So off we will go in December to a gastric specialist to try and figure out what is going on with him. I am hoping they find he has a stubborness bone stuck in his digestive track and if they remove it it will not only cause him to grow but give his aditude a kick in the pants! A girl can dream can't she?? Oh yah, least I forget our newest N, who is doing great in school and picking up english faster than a speeding bullet, she was knocked down by that wicked virus going around and peaked at 105.3. How do you say ice bath in spanish? Girl was NOT happy. She's on the mend for now, but has lots of vaccines to go, so I imagine it is going to be a long winter with the vaccines knocking her immune system down and her picking up every cold and illness know to man. Last but not least E1, who got a shining report from his teacher at our conference this morning that had little to do with his achademics. I know, he is AWESOME, I know, he is AMAZING....that's my E1!

Jonah oh Jonah, what can we learn from you

Interesting Reading of the day for today.  I've heard it before, perhaps many times.  But perhaps this is the first time I thought about it for a second.  How true for me,  getting upset over things I didn't create.  things I didn't nuture.  things that were then taken away.  How easy for me to get upset over the good things in life, that appear to be free, but then are taken away.  Unlike Jonah, I dont become "angry enough to die".  Surely angry at time.  A good message to take what we are given, and to be thankful.

Today's Reading of the day...

Jonah 4:6-116Then the LORD God provided a gourd plant.^* And when it grew up over Jonah’s head, giving shade that relieved him of any discomfort, Jonah was greatly delighted with the plant.7But the next morning at dawn God provided a worm that attacked the plant, so that it withered.8And when the sun arose, God provided a scorching east wind; and the sun beat upon Jonah’s head till he became faint. Then he wished for death, saying, “It is better for me to die than to live.”7But the next morning at dawn God provided a worm that attacked the plant, so that it withered.8And when the sun arose, God provided a scorching east wind; and the sun beat upon Jonah’s head till he became faint. Then he wished for death, saying, “It is better for me to die than to live.”9But God said to Jonah, “Do you have a right to be angry over the gourd plant?” Jonah answered, “I have a right to be angry—angry enough to die.”10Then the LORD said, “You are concerned^* over the gourd plant which cost you no effort and which you did not grow; it came up in one night and in one night it perished.11And should I not be concerned over the great city of Nineveh, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand persons who cannot know their right hand from their left, not to mention all the animals?”^*

The (Little known) 8th day of Creation.

The (Little known) 8th day of Creation.

Then God said: Let the Avocado (created on the 3rd day) be smashed and blended with other gifts. And so it happened, the fruit from the tree, was smashed an blended with the spices and fruits of all the best trees and plants.

God called the creation, Guacamole. And saw that it was Good. Very good.

Evening came, and morning followed—the eighth day

The NEW normal

It has been almost 2 weeks since we arrived home and it feels like the chaos is actually starting to die down. The school routine is back on track (sorry about the late payment daycare! oops!) and the kids are settling down to the routine. Things are back in swing at work and the house isn't totally a disaster area. Given this, I wanted to do a post of a few things from the last few weeks:
1. I proved that it takes 6 weeks of speaking a foreign language to start dreaming in that language. A couple of nights after getting home, E2 came in our room and woke me out of my Spanish dream, I continued half asleep speaking to him and calling in a girl none the less in Spanish before i woke up and realized what I was doing.
2. 4 kids is a LOT of kids. I don't know for sure why going from 3 to 4 made it seem like they are everywhere, but every time I turn around, someone's calling "mama, mama" or I am tripping on them under my feet. Going anywhere is like herding cats as they scatter in ever which direction and sitting in the gaz-bo at night watching them on the jumper make me think the neighbors must be wondering if we are running a daycare. Its all good though because I am also getting 4 x's as many hugs!
3. The dishes, the laundry, need I say more? I have never seen so many skid marks in my life and if we could all stop throwing our tp in the garbage can, that would help also, we arn't in Colombia anymore people!
4. Speaking of Spanish, in my infintate wisdom, I decided to share some of the Catholic doctrine with our new daughter last week at church not remembering that i really don't speak Spanish well enough to explain Catholic doctrine to a 5 yr old, I am pretty sure she now thinks we are all vampires and are going to try and drain her blood.
5. We have been busy also channeling Uncle Buck. With N's picky eatting, we have been sending her to school with some unusual lunches which usually include a halved avocado. T is having fun imaging her opening her lunch to the gasps of the kids around her who are probably wondering what her parents were thinking when they packed her lunch that morning.
Thats it for now from the home front! Just sitting back and enjoying family life and working on getting 4 kids loaded into the car in less than 20 mins! Boo-yah!

Family of 6

Hard to believe we have been home from Colombia for just over a week. So much has been going on, it has been hard to keep track: transitions to school, transitions to work, catching up on everything for the last 6 weeks, my head is spinning and I keep forgetting school drop off locations or to sign kids in and out. I don't want to jinx it, but N has been doing amazing. It was summed up by the administrator at school yesterday when she looked at me and said "You guys are really bless, she is incredible!". I just replied "I know". When I think about all she has been through in the 5 years of her life, I am in awe of her. I have to credit the amazing foster family that cared for her over the past 3 years. We will forever be grateful to them for their unconditional love. I pray pray pray, when N turns 18 that we will be able to find them and thank them in person.
I will say, after bringing home our 3 yr old from Congo and the developmental and behavioral issues we are working through with her, even though I knew N was our daughter from the min. I saw her name, I was terrified that we would have difficult emotional and developmental issues to overcome. It is true that God only gives you what you can handle (and I think God knows we can only handle one K!). He knew N would be perfect in our family as an older sister to K and someone that could show her the joy of playing dolls and just plain goofing around. It warms my heart when I see N grab K's hand and yammer something to her in Spanish and lead her off to some sort of adventure! Not sure why God chose us to raise these amazing kiddos, but I am humbled, truely humbled that he did.
It is hard to believe that we have spent the last 7 yrs of our marriage (over half the time we have been married) working on the adoption of our kiddos. That is planning, research, paperwork (oh the paperwork), doctors appointment, social worker appointments, more paperwork, travel, bonding, saving $$saving $$saving, praying praying praying then waiting waiting waiting....I am exhausted just typing it. It is almost like the end of an era. As an engineer, I am an obsessed timeline tracker, and because of that, our adoptions have been incredibly emotionally draining to me. It is an amazing feeling to know our family is complete. And when I tell people that, I always preface it by saying that if God doesn't think so, he better scream pretty loud because my hands are now permanently over my ears and I am yelling "I can't hear you!!"

Adoption - A story behind the story

This article was shared with J & I be an awesome "Therapeutic Mom".  If you are wondering what in the world is a Therapeutic Mom, when sorry, but that will have to be a post for another time.  Try searching google, for "therapeutic parenting".   Anyway, as we are adjusting to life as a bigger family, and trying to get "into" school. We are faced with some challenges.  Quite honestly, we don't know what the solution is or where the road we are no on is taking us.  We have one of two "leads" to follow up on, so we are not without Hope yet.  Its unlikely to be a friendly and fun journey either, heck not that it has been thus far.  I know that I found this article to be particularly.... interesting.  It doesn't offer tools, or solutions.  But it does put into light some perspectives that Adoptive Parents have a very difficult time trying to share with family and friends.

http://nysccc.org/adoption/realities-of-adoption/

Boys! Mama is Coming HOME!

God was with us yesterday when we stopped in the ICBF office for a Hague required last paper and the director had left her cell phone in a cab and was no where to be found. Just as we were about to leave, she ran in multitasking like crazy and signed the paper! We headed in terrible traffic to the embassy and because it was Friday before a holiday, they we taking visa applications and we were the only family there! Courrier from the lab with the doctors report hadn't arrived yet...bummer, but we were able to call on my cell because it didn't have a camera so it wasn't confiscated and found out hte lady was also stuck in traffic but had just arrived at the gate! Another blessing! N was interviewed and it was quite cute. He asked her her name, and who was with her to which she responded "mama". Then he asked her where she wanted to go and she said "yo quiero ir a Los Estados Unidos!" and he asked what she was going to do there and she said "jugar! (play)". He asked if she ws going to go to school and she relpied "No!". We both laughed. Visa will be ready after the holiday and we have rebooked our tickets! Boys! Mama is coming home and there better not be a pile of laundry waiting for me when I get there!

Just Buy Another Pair of Shoes

So your in Colombia and find out the immigration requirements just changed on August 15th regarding turburculin testing and you are the trail blazing family that has to be the first to figure out the new system.....just go and buy another pair of shoes

Yah, you arrive at the only embassy approved lab at 7:00 in the morning after a 45 min. taxi ride, stand in line to get in only to find out the only lab approved by the embassy doesn't do the new test that is required....just go and buy another pair of shoes

Sure, the new policy requires you to hold your daughter down while a tube is stuffed down her throat even after the x-ray is clear.....of course, just go and buy yourself another pair of shoes.

And the lab thinks the sample MUST be for a culture because who in their right mind would order this test for someone who is asymptomatic so they ignore the order voiding the first nose tube torture on your daughter who screamed and cried the whole time....just go and buy another pair of shoes

And after 4 days of tortuous forced coughing, sampling, poking and proding after the doctor suggests that the testing must be easy by now and you feel like punching him in the face....cry your eyes out when they tell you the last sample is sufficient so the entire hospital staff can see you, your daughter can wonder why you can't stop crying and the cab driver will think you are crazy...and go buy yourself another pair of shoes......but not just any pair of shoes, a pair of shoes that will be good for kick ass!!!!!

Justice is a dish best served... On wheat?

As if the family didnt have enough going on. I got a jury summons. Repeated calls to ask to be deferred fell on deaf ears. Spent the morning with 150ish of my closest new friends trying to avoid falling asleep while waiting and waiting and waiting, and oh yeah. Waiting some more. In the end, they did not need many jurors, so many of us were sent home. But not before being told we could still go down into the dinning hall to pickup our "jury" sandwiches.

So there you have it. $10 and a turkey on wheat for a 1/2 of day of sitting around.

Whats in a Basement...

Its been on the todo list for gosh. over a year I guess. But I was always curious as to what a basement remodel, a whole heck of a lot of sweat equity, and some necessities would run. I finally tallied up the costs for our basement remodel.

$4,224.25 Was the total. I must admit that I'm pretty impressed. Considering the extras, and some issues that came about. Now I'll have to admit. The costs of the paint and the super discounted area rugs are not included. So I dunno. Tack on another $100 to $150 tops.

Some breakdowns. about $1786.91 of this cost was the flooring and underlayment. 42% of the overall project costs. Ouch! But we wanted the nicer faux stone laminate flooring. Its looks great!

The ceiling cost about 781.56, or about 19% of the overall costs.

The cost of new tools (heck what would be project be if you can't land yourself some new tools. For me the biggest was biscuit jointer. LOVE IT!!) was only $156.16. Even Jodie can't complain about that.

The rest was for 2x4 lumber for framing, the can lights, electrical supplies, etc etc.

Oh yeah, one of the most important breakdown. about $10 in candy. Mostly Spree and Twizzlers as the checkout aisle in Menards. Hey a man has to eat!!

Whats in store? A master bathroom remodel. Something tells me that $4224 is not gonna cut it, but you never know. We got J, the master tile layer on board. So except for new fixtures, its just some basic rewiring, the extend of the new drywall will be determined. Cost for a dumpster, and possibly a plumber thrown in for final hookups. Stay tuned in 2012!

Court Report

N and I flew back to Bucha last week for our big day in court. I expected some big Peary Mason type court room with a judge in a robe and huge bench with a gaval, but in reality, it was an office in the court room so there was no shock and awe. I was suppose to have an official translator there as i kept hearin T in the back of my head saying "don't be stupid J, ask for a translator, what are you going to do if he asks you something and you can't answer?". Well the translator never showed up and the attorney said the case would have to be postponed unless I could prove to them I understood Spanish. Oh poo! Our translator assured the attorney that I understand Spanish PERFECTLY! I thought I was going to have a panic attach right there in the middle of the floor. Sure, I had on my cute red Colombian shoes and sure I can understand my 5 yr old, but a judge and legal munbo jumbo? That is a whole new ball game. So they hand me the documents and ask me to start reading out loud at the counter. Ok ok, all looks good, names spell right, I understand.....first test passed, next onto the judges room. N is so undone, she hates any kind of office buildings and freaks out. I tell the attorny if she throws a raging fit, i wouldnt be able to focus on the translation, luckly, they buy her some snacks and when we are called into the judge's office, she is content to sit in the chair and chomp on her snack. Window is open and noise from the street and the door is open with noise from the office, I pull the chair right up to the judge's desk and lean way in, direct eye contact and listening intently to every word....he says he will speak slowly so it is easier for me to understand him, good I am thinking. He goes through our responsibiities toward our daughter quickly and they starts talking about how young and pretty I am???? Hands me the paper to sign and we are done. The attorney cant believe it and makes it sound to the translator that i bewitched him or something crazy. I am turning a hundred shades of red while she is talking afterwards. Telling the story afterwards I realized that in my intent to make sure I was clear on everything he was saying, my body language could have been sending a WHOLE different message...OOPS! Must have been those hot little Colombian red shoes! That's my story and I'm sticking to it! We are officially a family of 6! Now we just need to figure out how to get her back into the US!

Reading of the Day

Shared with my from E1's Godmother.

Reading of the Day ...

Psalm 116:1-2 “I love the LORD, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.”

Peace

When is a punch in the face fun?

A punch in the face is fun, when the alternative is a kick in the groin, a club to the stomach, and a rock to the head. At least thats what devastating news feels like today. Please pray for our family. That we may be reunited very soon.

EL Penol!

Ok, continuing on my Medellin addiction, I wanted to tell you all about El Penol! I highly recommend going there if you are in Medellin. it is about an hour and a half drive from the city, and it was a great way to see the country side. We even drove through a town that had a livestock auction and got to see all the cabelleros in their traditional wear. The countryside is beautiful, farms growing all different vegetables, so many colors. The road was an adventure. Many landslides blocking half the road and areas that half the road had been undermined. El Penol is a giant rock sticking up out of no where. They say there is more below the ground than above. My sis and I decided we were up for the adventure with a 4 yr old and a 5 yr old and 649 stairs to the top! Lets not forget the 4 yr old is in therapy for her legs! Yes, the zig zag pattern in the photo is actually the staircase. When we first saw it, our hearts dropped, part out of fear of the height of it and part because i think we were both thinking how the He double toothpick are we going to get up that thing with 2 little kids. We laughed pretty hard when our guide told us that it takes most people about 20 mins! funny lady. We started up and it wasn't too bad. N was really excited the first few flights, but then it wore off quickly and she kept reaching up for me, and i kept suggesting we stop and rest as much as they needed. Sis stayed behind with K who was making good progress but a bit slower than us. After probably about 40 mins, we were at the top. The view is amazing! The whole valley and town was flooded to construct a dam that provides power for all of Colombia and parts of Venezuela and Argentina. It created these islands and wicked cool lake front properties. We rested at the top for ice cream and some photo ops, and then I made the mistake of suggesting N and K climb on some rocks for one last picture. Well long story short, N slipped on some loose gravel. It didn't seem too bad, but then, the blood, oh, the blood, there was a piece of glass that had sliced her knee wide open. Oh CRAP! Sis went for water as there was dirt everwhere and N was beside herself with all the blood coming down her knee. I used the toilet paper we had for emergency to slow the bleeding, then had to use all the Dora bandaides to cover it. Then reality sunk in, how in the HE double toothpick are we going to get down! No she couldnt walk and yes, I carried her down all 649 steps with the exception of about a dozen that we slide down on our back sides. My legs were shaking and as we got closer to the bottom, I started laughing and couldn't stop, I am not sure why, I was in so much wicked pain, but it struck me really freaking funny at the time the ridiculous situation we had gotten ourselves in. Sis carried K about half way down as she was exhausted. The next two days after, I had to throw my legs up and down stairs because they hurt so bad. What an adventure! A short boat ride and we were on our way back to Medellin. Unforgetable day!

Good bye Bucha for now and HELLO lovely Lady!

After wrestling N into the airport kicking and screaming and a barf fest on the way into town, we left our apartment digs in busy town of Bucharamanga after two and a half weeks and arrived in the beautiful city of Medellin. At one glance, i decided i am going to punch any adoptive family who is adopting from Medellin and dares complain about spending 5 weeks in this place. It is pure paradise! At the same time, I am super sad for all the Bucha families that only see Bogota and Bucha....like my boys :( . I am not regretting the decision to come here for one min. and would encourage other families to do the same, even if it is only for a few days.

We had an amazing time here and missed so much. It is easy to forget we are not on vacation here and that there are things that need to be done in Bogota, so alas, we will head, begrudgingly back to Bogota then back to Bucha and will remember our days here fondly as we will surely return when the kids are a big older.

Tale of the Giant Bug

So of course the boys arn't around and N drags me into the kitchen and points at the hanging laundry at the end of the room. I look bewildered at the laundry wondering what the heck she is saying. In all my spanish, I have never heard this word before. She repeats it more insistantly and I walk over and start wondering if she want to change into one of the dresses hanging on the line. I pull each one forward and she say no no no. I come to one of K's red dresses and she gets all excited. I tell her tomorrow she can wear it but she is still shaking her head. That when I notice a ciacada looking bug that is the side of a bird sitting on the hanger! I don't remember what i uttered at that point but N starts yelling "Mata lo mata lo" (kill it kill it) and she is clearly terrified by its presence. All I am thinking is "with what? A baseball bat! That thing is huge and my clean laundry is hanging below it!" So I decide to go the tupperware route and trap it between a container and a lid, not sure what I am going to do if the plan fails and it starts flying around the apartment. Luckily, the plan is successful and I now have it banging around in this tupperwere container. And then, the thing started to scream, like blood curdling, my arm is in a car door, ear bleeding scream like hundreds of little fairies dying. What the heck is going on E2 would say! So as qucikly as i could, I rushed the thing over to the window and set it free. Be free nasty screaming bug, and go bug someone else!

Hmmmmmm....big sigh

Trying to be brutally honest here and well, it has been 2 straight weeks of 24-7 K. Some might say what we are seeing is a result of adding a new sister, but I would whole heartedly disagree. I think what we are seeing is K's behaviors that have been occurring for the last year without the benefit of the distractions of everyday life. You know, the stuff you can ignore on a daily basis because of work, the internet, tv and distractions of activities and day care. What we are seeing in her behaviors makes me question her brain development and how the connections were originally made as they seem to be totally and completely mis-wired. My initial thought was that she has the emotional maturity of a 2 yr old which is what we have been told by her therapist. But that doesn't seem to explain it either. Her reactions to everyday situations are opposite what they should be. Your brother gets hurt, you laugh and mock him. Your sister brushes your leg getting off the couch, you would think your arm was cut off. I have lost track of the number of poor choices that have been made during the last 2 weeks which include but are not limited to sticking finger everywhere they shouldn't be, doors, body parts (in full length mirror none the less...ick!), etc, dumping a cup of laundry soap in the toilet, soiling your pants, forgetting how to put in socks, forgetting to not start peeing before sitting on the toilet. A total and complete lack of cause and effect thinking. And then there are the blank stares. Oh the blank stares...totally checked out in another world, as the strangers at the ball parked remarked, in her own little world, stepping into traffic, falling countless time because she is not watching where she is going, stuck on the toilet because she is staring blankly at the wall and can't seem to put the thoughts together as to how to get off. We have used every therapeutic technique we know in the last 2 weeks and it seems like nothing is getting through. Oh honey, I know it is hard for you to remember how to get off the toilet so take as much time as you need.....I read these stories of other kids that have had malnutrition, trauma, unknown histories, etc, I fear for your future little girl, I fear that you are driving your siblings away with your bullying and mocking, I fear that your birthday parties will all be with adults because the other kids at school tell me how you hit them or were mean to them, I am afraid of how you will navigate through this challenging world without the skills of logic. I wonder if we can teach you, and if you will ever learn.......

Moving Along

Went to the notary today for some more signatures and all the kids seemed to be in a funk. Seems like its a combination of tired and not wanting to be sitting at a notary that early in the morning. Also got N's visa photos today. I had tried my dark colored shirt on her yesterday, and she was having none of it, so with everyones moods today, I was expecting the worst, but she smiled like a champ. Should be a pretty cute picture.
Have I mentioned how everyone here is drop dead gorgeous? Even this homeless man on the sidewalk we keep walking by could be in the cover of GQ. I suppose just because you are hot doesn't mean you cant be homeless. We were at the club swimming the other day and my pasty white self was feeling pretty self conscious among all the sharply dressed, beautifully tan and chiseled folks doing lap after lap in the pool or soaking up the rays while I hid under my t-shirt and hat hoping not to get scalded. Amazing how noticable those few extra pounds suddenly seem in a bathing suit when you start to feel like everyone around you just walked off the cover of a magazine. I do however know that in order to be so sharply dressed all the time, you need to have HOT shoes and there is an abudance of SHOES here that Car*rie Brads*haw would drool over. Starting to wonder how many pairs I can fit in my carry on. Good thing sis is coming!

Parque De Agua

Heard yesterday that our case was submitted to Court on Monday and that I should expect 3 weeks before I might hear from the judge. This is along the same time frame other families have seen, but we also know there is a new TB test required in Bogota that we understand takes 72 hours to read, so that might extend my and the girls time here some. The 3 weeks does give us some time to possibly get to Medellin or Bogota to have the test done ahead of time. So far enjoying my time here and loving the fresh fruit and walking to the store and church and not having to get in a car every time we want to go somewhere. I made corn soup today with potatos, chicken fresh herbs and peas shucked from the pods, with sliced aquacate on top and crema fresca. It was wonderful! It is nice to be able so easily to make food that doesn't have so many preservatives in it. As best as I try at home, I usually don't have the time. We bought beef for fajitas the other day (which I put way to much spice in and the kids hated it..oops), but even the smell of fresh beef is so different. And the salt and sugar. You don't realize how much salt and sugar is in our food until it isn't there. Everytime we have gone to the store we have bought different fruit not knowing what it is. The last one was the granadilla which is hard and orange on the outside and has green snot with seeds on the inside. Kind of really liking it if I can get any before N slurps it up! More notary stuff tomorrow and visa photo for N. Hopefully some more pool time as well!

I don't miss it. Ok well maybe a little.

During our time in Colombia, we had a chance to head over to "the club" and go swimming. They had a pretty nice lap pool. I think it might have been a 50m length. But after only a few hundred meters I was done. I did swim a few more lengths a bit later. But it was nice. Not like I want to sign up for a half ironman tomorow. But the workout was different. I could tell my cardio fitness level wasn't so hot. Not sure where or how I'd get any lap time in with 4 nuggets running around the house. But it would be nice.

Something to talk about..

At least within our family this has kicked off some interesting discussions. I'll leave the politics and personal commentary out of this for the time being and see what the chatter comes back as.

http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/red-thread-adoptive-family-forum/2011/aug/3/united-states-unicef-war-international-adoptions/#.TjnwbpE96rc.facebook

My Rules for Life...

I've been saying some of these for years. And I do actually follow them. Just as J, as she gets frustrated when I stop for #1. Feel free to add you own. These are just the top ones that came to mind this evening.

Life is to short to pass some things by. Here are some of my own personal rules to life by. Note that they are heavily influenced by my world travels.

1. Never pass up buying a glass of lemonade from kids at a lemonade stand (and don't be cheap, let them keep the change)
2. Never pass up a twix bar at the checkout line. You know know when or if you'll have a chance for another.
3. Never pass up a chance to use a "nice" bathroom. You might be really sorry what your options could be later.
4. Never pass up a warm/hot shower. You might be really sorry you did, and you might not have another chance for a long long long time.
5. Snickers bars were made to eaten frozen. Any other way, well, shame on you...
6. (been said before by others, but I totally agree) Never pass up a chance to hug or kiss one of your kids.
7. Think of something you love about your wife/spouse, everyday. You might be mad, or arguing, or resentful, or just flat out pissed at each other at times. But you are still a team, and you can't do it alone.

Peace

When is the Congo not Congo? When its Colombia...

Sporadic running water, and when it runs, its cold versus Hot water on demand.

The area GSM system coming and going with the Electrical blackout/ power rationing versus ADSL+ all the time

No comfort food to be found anywhere versus abundant Chocolate, Beer, Pasta, and everything else you can find in a fully stocked grocery/department store.

(initially) Gut wrenching, ulcer producing stress versus relaxed days with siesta time

rice, sauce, and some type of meat (think stew) versus empanadas with the most to die for picante you've ever laid a taste bud on

Not a lick of English (only French or Lingala) to be found versus .. ok not a lick of English (a variety of Spanish) to be found

Hot, dry, dusty, not enough of a breeze to cool you down versus Hot, BRIGHT sunny, daily showers, moderate humidity.

Not a family member within 7000 miles versus having had the whole Clan right next to you to share an amazing experience!

Priceless

The Good kind of Stress

I would be easy enough to blow a gasket, not just because it 100+ with the heat index, and it's going to be 112+ the next few days. That wouldn't be so bad if our house didn't have AC. Kowalski (the family dog) and I are laying on the bare flooring the basement for relief.

I would be easy enough to have a cow that the tickets we had on hold to meet, pickup, and return how with our newest daughter in Colombia didn't go up over 60% in price.

I would be easy enough to get crabby and irritable over the number of things, loose ends we are trying to pull together before we leave.

Last night while trying to calm K down after having nightmares (this time over her favorite ladybug pillow pet) for the 2nd day in a row. I started thinking. Maybe I"m fighting God's plan. Fighting his time frame. His use of finances that he's provided to us. Maybe I'm unknowingly trying to swim upstream against the current. Maybe I just need to trust, have faith and let things fall as they might.

Trust in the Lord. Yep. That's the plan now (at least for today until I'm challenged with the next group of frustrations).

Peace