A Hard Lesson in December Giving

Our December of Giving took an unexpected time out due to a family illness and a number of revised plans. We had been collecting items for a shelter for abused women and their children since December began and today seemed as good a time as any to get the items over to the shelter. E1 was down with a fever and when the other three quickly put on their coats at the thought of going out, I gladly agreed as it seems that any experiences that they can see first hand who they are giving to has a much greater impact that just sending something off in the mail. We all got out of the car and I pulled out the laundry basket with the donations. E2 carried a decoration, K carried the gingerbread house and I tried to get N to carry the oranges. She quickly decided against it and insisted she wanted to carry the barbie. I should have seen where this was headed as soon as she went for the barbie and given her something else, but alas, hindsight, we got in the door and I was a little taken aback by the tone of the lady behind the desk who barked "It's all NEW right?!!?", ah yah, I answered, she called another lady from the back to come up and get the items and E2 and K quickly give me the items to put in the basket, N, not so much...then began the drama, the tears were flowing and continued when we got back in the car. It was again a hard lesson for N about the meaning of Christmas and wasn't the first as we embarked on the December of Giving. Lots of explanations in Spanish about what Christmas is and why Christmas is about giving and not receiving. The thing I always find interesting about these talks with her is that she always tells me she doesn't have any toys. I part wonder if this is a kid thing, or if she really doesn't think anything in our house is hers, even though things have specifically been given to her and we have told her many times that clothes, shoes and toys are hers, but she is not yet at the point of believing it. Either way, this is a marathon, not a sprint and as she grows and owns us more as her forever family, this perception will change as will her understanding that giving is more important as receiving.