Are you kidding me????

It is unbelievable that the folks at Costco would possibly fathom that this would be acceptable and it would actual take a customer finding the doll in the store to point it out to them. Two thumbs down Costco.

They grow up so fast dont they...

J and I are still new parents. But that doesn't mean that all the cliches are lost on us, or that we don't hear them. Today was my "Last Monday" with E1. The last "Day with Dad". Of course for the past year its been E1 and E2 with Dad on Mondays. Why is it the last day? 5 day, all day preschool starts next Monday. I tried my best to cram a lifetime of fun into today, but rain showers, then heat, and frankly two tired boys and a worn out (from the Children's museum) Dad sorta cut into that plan. In honesty, I'm sure the "day" was more for me than for E1. It unfair to compare (and I am not suggesting they are the same) but I can recall the first time I dropped Fezzik (the family dog) off at the kennel. He was still a pup. I still swear to this day he looked at me as if to say "Where are you going? Why am I in this strange place, and why are you walking away without me". It just breaks the heart strings. At least it does for this sentimental ..almost 40.. smuck. I don't want to think about next Monday right now. Hopefully by then I'll recognize the opportunity I spending my
Day with Dad" just with E2.

What did you do with your Monday..
Peace

Ka-Boom!

The Ka-Boom never came. After a full (quite exhausting) day of car shopping yesterday, the family finally got to the pool party/picnic about 6pm. Only 4 hours late. Mama and Papa needed to relax. Car dealer. Car (snake-oil) salesman. Numerous call to numerous dealers to find cars that just aren't there. E1 and E2 getting on the fritz. It was kinda rough. In the end, we think we've got a car, its at a new dealer, that just opened yesterday, but they aren't registered for cash-for-clunkers yet. So everything (the final sale) is on hold until that comes through. Hopefully in the next couple of days.

So what better way to relieve all that pent up stress and anxiety ? Beside a hot tub, a pool, and fun with friends. how about getting up a 5am to go run 18 miles. WHO'S WITH ME! Anyone? Bueller? Its was moderate when I started, but after sunup, the humidity came out. I must say though, this 18 miles went immensely better than the 14 last week. I did get a mild headache, but I'm trying something now. Pumping myself full of caffeine to keep the blood thinner. Maybe that's helping.. or maybe Its just getting me wired.. I dunno (ok that's a job, I drink enough coffee already that caffeine doesnt really get me wired anymore).

So what did you do with you sunday? Many exciting this to come in the next few days. Stay tuned.

Peace

Lets Rondo on the 5 you clunker!

After the recent trip to the UP, it seems that while we just got it tuned up, the family minivan is not deemed reliable enough for long distance trips. Its older, that grey goose. Sounds like the muffler is falling off. Hey here's a great idea. Let's "cash for clunker" it!

Sounds great, but where is the rest of the $$ coming for a new minivan. We'll trade in the Prius. GASP! I think I choked up and re swallowed the days lunch. The most fuel efficient car in the US, traded in? Then the quote came out. "You always said you dont care what you drive". Eee-gads! she's got me.

So we looked at "micro vans" as opposed to minivans. There really only two out there. The Mazda 5 and the Kia Rondo. We've checked out the Rondo. Not a bad car, at least not the one we drove. Underpowered, but it will probably get us to were we want to go. Biggest thing, is its got that 3rd row for when (rather than ..if..) #3 comes along. We're driving the Mazda5 on Saturday. We'll see how it goes. While the Prius is only 4 years old. Apparently its depreciated more (a lot more) than we thought. Despite being fully loaded (with navigation system) the trade in values and Carmax values are about $4k lower than we thought.

Stay tuned to our car saga...

Zoom Zoom

Things to do while its Hot..

When its Hot and Steamy, Humid and Miserable, Without AC and not much of a breeze. What do you do. What sounds like fun?

How about driving downtown for a 1.5mile swim. Thats refreshing. Except there was a slight breeze and while there were no whitecaps, there were some mild swells which made swimming an undulating experience.

How about running 14 miles in blistering humidity, despite being overcast. The kinda heat and humidity where you can great drenched just walking, much less trying to get in a 14 miles training run.

Perhaps you'd rather enjoy a nice exercise induced migraine that lasted about 15 hours from early stupidity (like swimming and running downtown, without much breakfast, and evidently not enough hydration).

I know. I'm sure its a favorite "Hot and Humid" activity of you all. Going to Home Depot to by 5/8 inch drywall (that's the really heavy stuff) so you can spend the entire day in your hot garage hanging and taping drywall. Of course not before having removed everything from the garage, including de-installing the existing hanging cabinets, only to have your drywall hanging FUN interrupted by an unexpected (at least to me) rain storm, such that all the "garage stuff" started to get soaked.

To be fair, I'm not really complaining. You take the good and the bad. The drywall needed to be done. And hopefully tomorrow I can wash my hands of it once I get the paneling and the cabinet rehung. The poor training runs have left me thinking that all the late "work" nights are having a significant impact on my ability to run longer distances. And plus, that was that kinda soul that shared some of her freezer pops with my friend Dave and I as we were on about mile 13 of the run. Freezer pop while hot on humid. Dang! that was the best freezer pop in the world...

So how did you spend you wicked hot and humid days...

Lifebook No 2 - Complete!

Well, E2 has been home for just over a year and I finally completed his lifebook (story of his adoption). For E1's lifebook, I used headshots of all the family and adoption agency people and the Sizik cutting system to make basically bobble head people. I wrote the story out then hand stamped the words. Though I love E1's book and am very happy with the results, the stamping was time consuming and there was no way to make sure all the words fit on one page, so there are several sentences that continue on the following page which is annoying when you are reading it. I am including a page from E1's book with this post so you can get an idea what it looks like. I have really enjoyed reading it to him and I think he really likes seeing the pictures of his Madre, grandparents, himself and mom and dad.

E2's book was a tougher nut to crack, while I knew that I wanted to type the words, I have never scrapbooked electronically before. I started months before with a title page that described him as a grown man traveling back to the town in which he was born and speaks to the sights and sounds of the town. After that page, I was pretty much lost. My friends suggested a book call the "The House that Jack Built", that I might be able to use that as a base and twist it into the adoption story. I wrote the whole thing out....this is the town that E2 was born in the Country of Ethiopia, this is the lady that took care of E2 in the town where he was born, in the Country of Ethiopia....etc. When I was finished, I totally hated it. A few months past and I found myself in the bowels of the "Change I Can't Control" (see post below), somewhere in my wallering in self pity, loathing, spiteful, negative attitude, I started to write E2's adoption story. Combined with my drive to do something meaningful and my melancholy, I just couldn't stop writing. Now normally, I am in bed by 9:15, but I found that I just couldn't stop and pushed the clock each night beyond 11:00. It is finished, through all the chaos of the last few months, I am REALLY really, happy with the result and hope that E2 will treasure it as he grows up. I haven't figured out how to post a picture of one of the pages as it was created in word and I can't convert it to a jpeg, but here is the basic setup. There is a full size pictures on the left side of each facing page with words laid over the picture that read "My mom and dad tell me I am XXXXXXXX", (i.e. blessed, prayed for, loved...etc), the facing page on the right describes in more detail his adoption story and why he is blessed, prayed for, loved, etc. with additional photos to help tell the story. I can't wait to read it to him.

Much Needed Get Away

Well the Great Grey Goose flew its way 1200 miles to the great white north and back for its second camping trip. This time, it landed safely back home without a major break down in the middle of the north woods cell-phone vacuum more commonly known as the "I can't hear you now" area. E1, not to be outdone by his puking, diarrhea brother from the previous weekend's camping disaster, peed all over dad in their sleeping bag, lamented about bear attacks and proved that there are nude beaches in the UP, well, at least in his mind!

Even with the sketchy weather, it was still an amazing and relaxing weekend. Pa Pa did great in his race and E1 made some great new friends. The boys had fun on the playground with grandma and grandpa and enjoyed taking in the local sites. We even had a Chivice style Mahi-Mahi with coconut-pineapple rice and dill green beans, cooked over an open fire, on Sunday night in honor of my brother and his fiancee who are getting married in Hawaii this week.

Still working on talking Pa Pa into a road trip next year for a different triathalon in the area that wouldn't conflict with the culture camp we like to go to, otherwise it might be another 2 years before we head that way again which seems like FOREVER!

Change I Control vs Change Out of Control

I was quite proud of myself as my 2009 resolution was to embark on some massive changes in the "business as usual" trap we all tend to find ourselves in once our routines are established. I marked this new way of thinking by changing grocery stores which resulted in a significant reduction in my weekly grocery bill, rethinking some of the house work and what was important, and breaking ties with all my "extra" curricular activities that were occupying much of my "free" time with little or no reward. Mid 2009, I was relishing in my success and the positive changes that I had made when it seemed the ball I had started rolling down the hill had taken off on its own. While I had made controlled decisions in the changes I made during the first part of the year, changes clearly out of my control began to snowball. Though some of the changes were seemingly small, they all managed to shake the little biosphere where I live my day to day life and combined have really pulled the rug out from under me. Neighbors we have know for 10 years moving, both our priests leaving, realizing that my age and lack of exercise is really creeping up on me, being rear ended, re-defining an assistance schedule that would have helped countless people, loosing a work associate that I relied heavily upon, redefining seemingly stable relationships. Even something as simple as a camping trip seems born of chaos and out of my control at this point. My capacity for embracing change has really reached its limit. Change, whether by my initiation or out of my control has touched every facet of my life at this point. Looking ahead, it looks to me that this change is marking more of the beginning than an end.

Forgivness

I have been thinking a lot about what forgiveness means to me lately and found this interesting post by Jake Lawson on Livestrong.com, you can read the rest of Jake's post on Livestrong.

What is forgiving and forgetting in a relationship?
1. Forgiving is allowing another person to be human for faults, mistakes or misdeeds. Forgetting is putting these behind you; they are no longer brought up and no longer remain a barrier to your relationship.
2. Forgiving is letting another know that there is no grudge, hard feelings or animosity for any wrongdoing. Forgetting is the lack of further discussion, with no ongoing negative references to the event.
3. Forgiving is letting the other person know that you accept as genuine the remorse and sorrow for actions or words that hurt or disappointed you. Forgetting is promising that this deed, whether of omission or commission, will not be brought up again.
4. Forgiving is accepting the sincerity of penance, sorrow and regret expressed over a grievous personal offense; making it sufficient to clear the air. Forgetting is your commitment to let go of anger, hurt and pain over this offense.
5. Forgiving is giving a sign that a person's explanation or acceptance of blame for a destructive, hurtful or painful act is fully accepted. Forgetting is the development of a plan of action between the two of you to heal the scars resulting from the behavior.
6. Forgiving is the highest form of human behavior that can be shown to another person. It means being vulnerable to being hurt or offended in the future, yet setting aside this in order to reopen and heal the channels of communication. Forgetting is is also a noble human behavior; it is letting go of the need to seek revenge for past offenses.
7. Forgiving is the act of love between you and a person who has hurt you; the bandage that holds the wound together long enough to heal. Forgetting is also an act of love; in rehabilitation therapy, helping the wounded return to a full and functional life.
8. Forgiving is the God-like gift of spiritually connecting with others, touching their hearts to calm the fear of rejection, quiet the sense of failure and lighten the burden of guilt. Forgetting is the God-like gift of spiritually touching others' hearts with the reassurance of a happy and full life with no fear of recrimination.
9. Forgiving is the act of letting go of temporary ill will, disappointment or the disgust that arises from the break in your relationship. Forgetting is bridging this gap in the relationship, eventually strengthening it against such a break in the future.
10. Forgiving is an act of compassion, humanity and gentleness by which you let another know that he is indeed a child of the universe upon whom a variety of graces and blessings have been showered and that current or past offenses need not be a barrier to goodness. Forgetting is the act of encouragement, support and reinforcement by which you assist the other person to rebuild, reconnect and re-establish a loving, caring, healthy relationship with you and the world.

While I like to imagine I live by these rules, that is probably not the case in all instances. When I look back at one of the deepest hurts in my life that involved the publishing of an untrue story about my ethics in the local newspaper by a fellow associate, I reacted with a deep hurt and anger. In the end, I chose to forgive the person. In doing so, it was like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. At that point, it became clear the burden that a situation like that could have become on me. As our AWESOME new priest quotes a Nigerian saying "If you hold someone to the ground, you are holding yourself to the ground". If you do not truly forgive someone, you carry that burden with you just as they do.

Return of the Silent Blogger

"The essence of passion is an engagement and willingness to change. There is little honor in holding back, limiting participation, accepting mediocrity, and finding comfort in the status quo. With passion, we engage our soul and our being in this work, along with our mind and our body. With passion, we reclaim our hope and belief in the possibility of a future devoid of racial injustice–a future governed by equity and anti-racism. With passion, we survive the conflict, the lack of support, and the passive resistance that comes with challenging institutionalized racism in our schools. And with passion, we will have the strength not only to stand up for what is right for our children, but to what is right for them as well."–Singleton and Linton, Courageous Conversations about Race.

I thought this was a fitting quote (borrowed from one of my other blogger friend's posts) to begin my return to the world of bloggers. Over the past several months, I have hid with my pen and paper-blog taken confort in the fact that I alone would be the only reader and I alone would be the one to express opinions on what I wrote until I realized that does nothing in the grand scheme of things.

I liken my attempts at anti-racism to a toddler trying to ride a two wheel bike, unsteady, unsure and prone to a few disasterous crashes. I readily admit that I have and will continue to make mistakes. But at the same time, I will continue to learn and with each attempt, become better at expressing myself and my thoughts on racial related topics. I agree with the quote above in that there is little honor in accepting status quo and would certainly be disappointed in myself if I started to choose to say nothing rather than attempting something.