Travel Approval!

T got a surprise call 2 days ago that we have our Article 5 and approval to travel! Yippy!!!! Made some quick calls and are trying to get travel arrangements worked out but it should be before the end of the month! Time to get packing! The World C_up soccer tourn. is in Colombia the same time we will be there, might make traveling around much more challenging. As it turns out, Guatemala is playing in the same town our World V ision sponsor child is from! To bad the dates don't work as that would have been super cool for E1 to see!

Whats in a step..

62 of the to be precise.

For some odd reason that's the number of steps from the base of the stairwell at work, upto the 5th floor where I'm at.

62 steps to raise a heart rate to burn calories
how many calories would I burn?
Enough for a few M&Ms
The heart stays pumping good for a few minutes even after reaching the top. How much added benefit from that period of time.

just some odd thoughts about walking up stairs

Holy Smokes!

Saturday we got an unexpected letter from USCIS! Our letter of provisional approval for N's visa! We wern't expecting to hear anything for a few weeks! Now, as we understand, the letter and file go to Colombia and we wait for article 5 to be issued which will be our travel approval! In just a few short weeks we could be on our way!

Mercy

Mercy is defined as:
1. A compassionate treatment
2. To be kind and forgiving
3. Something for which to be thankful; a blessing
4. Alleviation of distress; relief

In the past week, I asked for mercy more times than I can remember. An unexpected hiccup in our adoption had my mind in a tailspin. We submitted our I-800, were full of bliss and i was busy preparing a super cool photo album to send to N to introduce us. I was excited about packing and busy nesting when it all came to a screeching halt. My heart was breaking and all I could muster to do was cry out of mercy. To God, to everyone I spoke with, to a homestudy agency that we had volunteered at year after year, hoping, praying that someone would have mercy on us. They didn't know us know us personally, but I thought about the good Samaritan, who came to a stranger's aid just because it was the right thing to do. After numerous dead ends, we got a return call from a new homestudy agency over the weekend that was recommended by a friend. I knew right away upon speaking with them, that they would do what they could to help. They showed us mercy and I cried, tears of joy this time. We met in person earlier this week and during the meeting, I got a call from T. There was an agreement that had been worked out to continue processing our paperwork! My heart overflowed with the mercy we were given and thankfulness for everyone that was working on our behalf and how God had moved another mountain, once again to bring our daughter home to us. Now...back to nesting!

Shoelace

I was going through an old box. You know the type of box. One with notes, letters, pictures, trinkets collected over the years. Apart of the temporary stun of looking at my college IDs, reading some old greeting cards, I came across an all time favorite poem that I had saved.

Shoelace by Charles Bukowski (1980)
It's not the large things that send a man to the madhouse...
No, it's the continuing series of small
tragedies that send a man to the madhouse.
Not the death of his love,
but a shoelace that snaps with no time left...

Peace

A shout out to my girls...

Just thought of my girls today. J, K, and N. My best gal J, is having a challenging time (see earlier post). My Special K had a really great day yesterday, but can be challenging. My newest gal N, don't know all that see faces day to day (yet), but its not likely all Joy and Peaceful Bliss.

Just a shout out to them.. that I'm always here and I'll do all I can (and more) for all of you..

Sweet Soul Dream - World Party

Sucked in to the Pit

These last two week have been hard. We got some disturbing news from our State regarding the agency we used for our HS. As it turns out, we are going to have to re-do it to meet USCIS requirements. With everything going on, I definitely feel myself being sucked in to a pit of despair. Knowing we are so close to bringing our daughter home and yet, after we climbed the mountain, feeling like we just slide half way back down. Thankfully, T is leading the charge and his "can do" attitude is dragging me out of this pit of self pity I want to stay in. The worst thing about it is that I know God's in charge and this will all work out, but I keep beating myself up about it anyways instead of just trusting in Him. And as I sit here and complain and moan about our little paperwork issue, two of our friends kids are fighting for their lives. So I am asking you to help me today to pray for tiny "C" in Texas, that the antibiotics do their job and clear up her little lungs and for "T", just home from the DRC in May and diagnosed with leukemia. Pray for strength for their families and for healing for their little bodies, that they may grow in Your love and shine as a light of hope for those around them. In Jesus Name. Amen.

Good Things. A Fathers story of Referral

(please press stop/pause on the music player at the bottom, and click play on the youtube video in this post)

Perhaps the most asked question of adoptive parents is "Why". Why Adoption. Why this sex (of a child). Why this age. Why this race. Why this county. Why now (why not wait). Why now (are you ready for this). Why another child (do you have more than you can handle now). Why this special need (are you sure you want to do this, or can handle this). Why this child. Why Not <fill in the blank with some well intentioned but ultimately hurtful alternative suggestion>

Say I can say words only simple
Say I can say words only clear
But oh I can feel your heart is beating near

Good Questions. Difficult answers. Answers that often change over time. Surely the answers J & I provide to some of these have changed since we brought E1 home in 2005.

With the official referral of #4 on Monday, we find ourselves answering these questions again. After Mass this morning, I contemplated the Homily. I thought about the topic of "Love". The unconditional "Love" our Lord has for us. The type of "Love" that St. Paul had to succumb to, to become the "Rock". The type of holistic, agape "Love", which is quite different from the personal "Love" many of us have for each other. The type of "Love" we should strive for, and if we can achieve.. Well. Good Things. Good Things...

Give I can give love and attention
Give I can give all time away
Only to one heart I can give today

During this reflection, I thought of those "Why" questions. I thought of #4. (G as I like to call her sometimes). I thought of what we know, what we learned, and what we can guess about "her story". I thought of K's story. About what she's been through before coming into our family, and what she's been through since. I thought of how (perhaps to often) I treat her unfairly in comparison to the boys. (Note: I am big enough to know and admit to myself though. That I'm human. I'm a work in progress. So I know part of "my story" is to rise above the hurdles and roadblocks that stand in or are put into my path that lead to greater harmony with K. Personally and within the family. She's worth it. Our family, needs it. I need it). I was sad thinking about what our girls had endured. I was saddened by what they might have had to endure had they not come into our family.

Haunted love is all that I feel
When you're passing by
Haunted love is all that I see
It's there in your eyes

Now STOP that thought. I'm not suggesting or insulating that J & I are riding in on some type of White horse to save the day, to rescue them, to be some type of savior or salvation for them. Quite contrary. I am not complete. I am broken. A puzzle with missing pieces. These blessed children of ours, are as much (probably more) a piece of me, as I am to them. They fill holes that I cannot fill. That J cannot fill. They come from God, to help heal whats broken and missing in me. So I will say it again. I am saddened when I think of what they have already endured. I am saddened when I think of what they might have had to endure had they not come into our family.

And I say
No no no don't pass me over
No no no don't pass me by
See I can see good things for you and I
Yeah good things for you

Lets be honest. I don't know where this is all going, or how it will all end up. I know it appears I work to much, and I sleep to little. I know we (as a family) are still working on being a harmonious, loving, caring, family. I know its been less than 1 year since K came home. I don't know if we'll ever rise above an overcome the challenges with K. I don't know if we're ready for or capable of overcoming the challenges we will face with N coming into our family. "And I tell you, ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; Knock and the door will be opened to you. Luke 11:9".

Be I can be man full of color
Be I can be man black or white
Only to one heart I can be tonight

But I can say this. J & I trust each other. We might fight and argue. We might not get out for enough of "us" time. We don't share enough of "ourselves" with and often fall short of looking for support from our family, friends, and WWME community. But we trust each other. Without speaking the words, we know we've got each others backs. We know when its a tough wade through the sludge, the other can pick us up. We trust in our faith. We trust in our Lord. "I know God won't give me more than I can handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much." -- Mother Teresa. We believe, without doubt, without question, that we are making the right choice. We may not (yet) know how we are going to get through it all, but we know that we will. We may not know what we will look like when we get there, but we know that we will, get there.

The Lord has blessed J and I with an unusual course through Life. A course that has been, and surely will be at times frustrating, confusing, and humbling. But a course that has already yielded indescribable Joy. A course that J and I are ..still.. anxious and excited about. A course that is deeply personal for us, but one that we hope you will share with us. The Lord is at work here. And when the Lord works, Well ...

Good Things
Good Things
Only Good Things
Good Things

Peace

Why do I run?

Its been splattered all over this blog. Heck its in the blogs name. But this video puts it plainly in another context.

Privacy Matters in Adoption

There was a great article posted on Rainbowkids this week that goes into a lot of details about the importance of an adopted child's privacy when it comes to their history and background and how we as adoptive parents need to be mindful of what information we share and when we share it with our child as often times, the child might not remember their history (depending on their age) and it can be very hurtful to find out details of their history from a family member or friend. Having just recieved our Referral, this article is very timely for us given that we now have a document that is about 20 pages in length with a lot of possible information that is really not ours to share, and are in the midst of fielding questions from friends and family that we might not be able to answer to protect our daughter' privacy. I hope you take the time to read it. Here is the link

http://www.rainbowkids.com/ArticleDetails.aspx?id=755

and an excerpt "I suggest that new adoptive parents, including those still in the adoption process, develop for themselves what I call the Privacy Plan. They decide what information is off-limits (e.g. birthparent information, certain details about early living conditions, specific reasons the child was available for adoption) and have a plan for responding to inappropriate questions. For example, when someone asks me what I "know abou" my child's birthmother or for some other information about his personal history, I’ve developed a standard reply: "That’s not my information to share." I try to keep it simple; I say it lightly and move on. People usually get the idea pretty quickly. They don't mean to overstep. Often they've just never thought of it that way before."