My Worst Nightmare and My Favorite Present I didn't Get

Yep, it has only taken 4 years, 3 months, 2 hours and 25 min's since we brought our first child home from Guatemala for me to walk in the house after work to see one of my worst nightmares of parenthood come true. E1 glued to the computer screen with a computer game of Lightning McQueen playing and hubby glued to the TV playing basketball on Wii (my second worst parent nightmare is having a daughter that loves pink). My greetings were ignored, my attempts at conversation were ignored and I sat and ate dinner....alone. This was justified, I was told, by the fact that they had spent an hour playing in the snow before hand and they had a big lunch. Of course this is the after-Christmas excitement, but I cannot shake the fact that I have witnessed first hand how kids can no longer carry on conversations or talk to eachother at the dinner table without texting their friends or playing online video game. Remember the time when we were kids and could come up with a fun game with a stick and a rock and walked to and from school uphill both ways, (you would think I was going on 80 not 40!) I know, I know, I watch too much TV and am addicted to too many blogs so who am I to complain...

ok on to a more important subject - My Favorite Present I didn't get. Since our sponsor family from Ghana through World Vision moved out of the project area, we have been talking about sponsoring a third child. This year has been really hard on the child sponsorship program through World Vision, at last count, they have lost over 1000 (CORRECTION: oops, I was off by a figure of 10! It is 14,903! Yikes!)child sponsors. Not only does a sponsorship help an individual child, it helps their family and the funds are pooled to help the community with sustainable water supply projects, business building projects like bee cultivating and fruit tree growing, expanded agriculture etc. I thought it would be a good idea if the boys gave Papa the gift of a new sponsor child, so the boys helped me choose a little girl who happened to be sporting a traditional Congolese hair style (very cute) and we sent in the first monthly payment. We can't wait to write her a letter and introduce ourselves and maybe meet her when we travel for the adoption like we did with the little boy we sponsor in Ethiopia. So technically, it was not my present, but certainly one that I am sure T is going to share. If you are interested in sponsoring a child through World Vision, you can sign up on-line at www.worldvision.org.

Driving Myself to the Mad House!

Well it has been a few days since the news about the little girl we had hope to adopt broke and I think I am in a worse spot now than two days ago. We had a surprise 40th b-day party for T on Sunday. There was so much hustle and bustle after the Christmas Holiday, that it was hard to call a time out given that we had just returned from WI the day before and I jumped right into cooking, shopping and planning for T's birthday party, to make matters worse, all of which was accomplished during the worst snow storm of the year which made a quick trip to the grocery store an hour venture. I am so thankful for all the friends and family that attended the party and helped out once we arrived and discovered that the park district had not shoveled and T's mom and I were frantically shoveling the 200' +/- to the door of the facility only to find out they had turned the heat way down and the building was freezing (I didn't notice the cold at first given the fact that I was now a pile of sweat from the shoveling exercise). At least the food was good and the kids enjoyed putting together the gingerbread houses with their mittens and coats on.
So here I am, today, three days after our adoption coordinator called T, wondering why my first thought when he told me the news was happiness for the little girl, that she will be able to be raised with birth relatives, followed closely by my second thought of the three waiting siblings we talked to another agency about. Followed by my third thought of "am I mad!". In the last three days, I have had the scheme all worked out, talk to our adoption coordinator, have her talk to the attorney, have him meet with the attorney that represents these kids, work out the paperwork so we can adopt them and bring them home and live happily ever after. Never mind that the HS and USCIS approval would be for 2 not 3 kids, we could figure that out.....and the little voice again whispers...."are you MAD!" If this were God's will and not mine, things would have worked out, and try as I may I can't force it to become God's will. I commiserated with my good friend at work this morning who is also ready to take the wheel and lead the charge in her situation. I asked her to see what the "Today God is First" inspiration was before either of us do anything crazy...here is the summation "Have you ever been tempted to use your power, skill, and ability to force a situation to happen, perhaps even out of anger? God is calling us to use prayer to move the face of mountains. The force of our ability is not satisfactory. God is calling each of us to a new dimension of walking with Him. Pray that God will give you the grace to wait on Him and not take matters into your own hands. Then you will not be in jeopardy of failing to move into the Promised Land in your life." Yah, I get it God. Thanks for the reminder!

What a Difference a Few Hours Can Make

T got a call from our adoption coordinator this afternoon to inform us that during the investigation to have K transferred to the Pastor's care, that they were able to find a birth relative that was willing to care for her. It is hard to explain the emotion, but I think, overall, I am very happy for her. She will be able to remain with birth relatives and be well taken care of. In addition, I have to believe, that had we not started this process to adopt her, the investigation to find her relatives would not have taken place and she would have been stuck in that orphanage for an extended period of time. I believe God has his hand in all this and as often as I think I am controlling the situation, he lets me know, more often than not, that he is truly in charge, and our daughter will come to us when the time is right. I had my eyes opened last week at work when I was beating my head against a wall trying and trying to get this project I was working on to move forward. When I finally took a step back, I found a fatal flaw in the engineering design that would have rendered the project pretty much useless. Try as I may to force it, God let me struggle for awhile and in the end, it was for the betterment of all that I couldn't get the project moving forward and the design will be corrected. Our daughter is out there, we just don't know her yet.

The Democratic Republic of Guatemalopia!

The word is out and we are officially in the process of becoming a family of 5! We are adopting a little girl . She is about two and a half and we are currently waiting for her to be transfered to the care of a Pastor who will foster her with his family until we can go and get her. We will be busy in the next month finishing the basement so we can move the office down there and start decorating her room. I am also having fun learing about cornrows, braids, twists, etc. It has only been about a month since we decided to move forward with a third adoption, and things are moving very fast! A bit different than our other 2 adoptions where there was more waiting than moving! We are very excited about finally having a daughter and can't wait to meet her!

How low can you go..

Ok. really how high! Its cold (not much motivation to get outside to run). Its the holidays, so you I'm grazing all the time. So just how many pounds will there be to shed once the holidays are over. Gosh I hope its less than 10! I think I'm going to be one of those millions of folks that will have exercise and weight loss as a new years goal.

The Rules

The boys and I spent a nice weekend together while papa was down in Texas at a surprise 40th birthday party. We had a great time at Spanish class yesterday, playing in the snow and fun at a Christmas party with our Guatemala play group. I imagined with Papa, the enforcer gone, the boys would try to push the limits with me so I was a bit shocked when I caught them playing on the stairs yeterday:

Mama to E1 "Boys...What's rule number one???"
E1 to Mama "Always listen to mama????"
Mama (in a bit of shock at the response) to E1 "Ahhh...that's pretty good E, but I was thinking of the rule about not playing on the stairs!"

With the exception of E2 breaking his fall onto the ceramic tile with his face yesterday (tooth into lip, blood everywhere) and a large scratch on his nose from WWF smackdown with his new 4 year old girlfriend, we are all in one piece...so far! and the cats, dog and fish have all been feed as well and medicine given and the house is still in some semblance of order, I even learned how to use a beader on Friday....I know, I can't believe it either!

The Will of God, the Will of Me and the Intercessors

My goodness, that is a mouthful! There seems to be a theme in my life in the past few weeks with various friend and associates who are trying to follow the path that God has laid out for them but are getting tangled up in the will they have for their own lives. To add to the challenge, a good friend gave me a reading last week about the role of the intercessor. It goes on to describe Agabus, who received word from God that Paul would be beaten if he went to Jerusalem to proclaim the word of God. Agabus assumed this meant that Paul was not to go to Jerusalem, but here comes the "Ahhhh Haaaa" moment, Agabus was an intercessor not a leader, God calls intercessors to the role of seeing, but calls leaders to the role of interpreting actions. Paul knew that God meant for him to go and proclaim his word in Jerusalem knowing he would be beaten. It is confirmed in Acts where Jesus comments "Take Courage! As you have testified about Me in Jerusalem, you must also testify in Rome". Beyond the often difficult time many of us have discerning God's will in our life is the added challenge that input we may receive from the people we contact may be in the form of an intercessor as opposed to a leader. While we need the information to create a complete picture of the situation, we have to discern how this information will help us to know the actions that are necessary to fulfill Gods will for our lives. While I can comprehend in my head and try as I may to understand that God has a plan for all of us, I struggle with being patient and allowing that will to manifest itself, especially when I see the pain my friends are going through when a situation seems to remain stagnant and unresolved which just seems to prolong the hurt.

All Things Guatemalopia

We are so blessed that the Ethiopian community in Chicago is so supportive of us as adoptive parents that they put together a wonderful string of cultural classes for us adoptive parents and kids, but I start to get concerned when our little Guatemalteco starts telling everyone he is from Ethiopia! That being said, we were so excited when we heard that the Guatemalan adoptive parents group had combined forces with Casa Guatemala to put on a Christmas party at Mayan Essance, the fair trade store in Chicago, complete with homemade Guatemalan food that was fantastic, a Mayan prayer and a performacne by Marimba Ixchel. Even though it was so packed that you could barely move, the food was out of this WORLD! There were so many things I had never tried before and would really like to learn how to make. E1 and E2 cut a rug to the marimba music to the delight of everyone around us. It was a wonderful afternoon and we so look forward to some combined Guatemalan Community and Adoptive Parent get togethers in the future!

Its just one of those things..

You get a commercial jingle stuck in your head. Maybe something your heard on the radio, on the mp3 players. Sometimes its just flat out annoying that you can't seem to get it out of your head.

As I listen to the local Holiday station, I'm just mesmerized by that Trans-Siberian Orchestra song, "Christmas Canon". I don't normally post about the same thing so close together, but as I'm working tonight, its on the radio again. My head just fills with such a variety of things. I would say Good, Bad, and others but that's just not quite accurate.

I would like to leave something deeply profound about the topic, but I'll just say this. Lately when I hear that song, I'm just filled with hope, but also regret over my own personal missed opportunities to effect change, but also thanksgiving at being healthy and having more time and inevitably more opportunities to bring about change. Hmm.. sounds like "Christmas Story" like... not really intended though..

This night, we pray
Our Lives, will show
This dream, he had
Each child, still knows

Peace

In Katie's Words

"We have had one of those really great days when I can't stop praising Jesus for this life. The girls are on holiday from school (thank goodness because almost all of them have had the chicken pox!). Today I managed to clip all of their 140 fingernails and 140 toenails, file them and paint them. On a quick trip to the pharmacy I found surgical gloves almost small enough to fit my child-sized hands. During nap time I got to sneak in a long, quiet run. Chocolate chip cookies are in the oven. I feel so full and so very blessed.

But as I sit down, content, something is weighs heavy on my heart. Something that I have been milling over for some time, unwilling to write about it because my words seem too inadequate to describe the ache I feel. However, I know that this is urgent. An emergency. And as adequate as my words may be, maybe I should at least try.

It started a few months ago when my great friends Mike and Suzanne were here to adopt their daughter. In finding out she had HIV, they were obviously broken. Mike made a statement that stirred something within me. He said, "I guess you know that children are out there suffering. You know that children are sick, this sick. But it is different when it is your child. It's just different." And it is. I don't mean this blog to criticize you in any way, Mike, because what you said was true for me too. It is different when it is my child. I spend countless nights awake with dying, or at least critically sick, children. I love them and I cuddle them. I sponge bath them and give them their medicine and wipe up their vomit. I hold them and pray over them and tell them how special they are and how Jesus loves them. My heart really does hurt for them. But it doesn't hurt the way it hurts when I think one of my own children is close to death. It doesn't hurt the way it does when Sumini's fever just won't go down or when Patricia is up all night coughing with her third case of pneumonia in three months. It doesn't hurt the way it does when Margaret's teeth run into Agnes's eyebrow and I can see her bone, and then watch in terror as the doctor stitches it up WITHOUT anesthetic. Somehow, when it is my children, there is a bit more urgency, a bit more panic. There is a bit more frustration at the lack of medical care we can receive here and a bit more google searching of what to do. I am not saying that I am proud of this. I am just letting you know that it isn't just you I have held several children as they died of inadequate medical care. It was horrible and I grieve and cried, but I promise you that I wasn't as devastated as I would have been had it been one of my daughters. Its ugly, but its true.

Its just different when its your child who's suffering. But should it be? This is what I have been struggling with. I believe that this is a normal human reaction. I also believe it is WRONG. I believe that each human on the planet is God's child, perfectly made and beloved and cherished by Him. I believe that His heart hurts like mine does, even more than mine does, when my baby is hurting for EACH and every one of the hurting, dying, starving, crying children in our world at this moment. So I HAVE to believe that if my heart was truly seeking to be aligned with the heart of God, that I would have to hurt for each of these children as well. But sometimes, I forget. Sometimes I'm busy. Sometimes hurting for my very own children just feels like enough. I believe that the world says that this is ok. And I believe it is wrong. And this keeps me up at night.

Angelina is seven years old and barely weighs 15 pounds. You remember that picture that was made popular in the 1980's during the famine in Ethiopia of that little girl (who looked like a bag of bones) curled up next to a vulture? That girl doesn't look nearly as sick as Angelina. Her mother has not had any food to give her in over four months. When Angelina musters enough energy to let out a cry of hunger (she is far to weak to walk or even hold her head up on her own), her mother gives her some locally brewed alcohol to keep her quiet. For four months, keeping her a little drunk has actually probably been what is keeping her alive. The dirt floor where she has been laying her whole life accumulating bedsores is covered in waste, animal and human. Jiggers burrow deep into her little feet causing them to crack and bleed. She is naked, filthy, and cold. It is far worse than appalling.

I bet right now at this moment your heart is sad for her. Is it as sad as it would be if Angelina were your daughter? Angelina is God's daughter. His heart aches for this perfect, wonderfully made child of His. Her circumstances do not surprise Him, but I have no doubt that they grieve Him tremendously.

And it's not just children, because we are all children in His eyes. Grace is maybe 60 years old but looks to be pushing 100. She can't weigh more than 85 pounds. Grace is a mother to six children, but 4 have died of AIDS and the other two have deserted her for a better life. She lives in a 4 by 4 foot room that is pitch black, but she doesn't mind; in addition to being to weak to walk, Grace is blind. She NEVER has any visitors. At night her bones ache against the hard dirt floor and her feeble body shivers with cold. A cough racks her body and her stomach rumbles in hunger making sleep impossible.

Its sad, huh? How sad though? Sad enough that we want to do sometime about it? Sad enough that we will remember Grace tonight as we snuggle down into our beds or next month as we pay the bills? Maybe. But maybe not. Because it hurts, but it doesn't hurt that much. It doesn't hurt the way it would if Grace was your grandmother all alone there in the dark. It does for God. Because Grace is His.

As I snuggle both these sweet girls, as I kiss their cheeks, as I spoon Pediasure into Angelina's little mouth or watch Grace rejoice over the gift of a scraggly old blanket, I allow the tears to fall. The tears that hurt for these people as if they were my family. Because they are my family. And it SHOULD hurt. It shouldn't be different. I desire for it to never again be different.

We are the body of Christ. But do we know what that means? Do we long for our brothers and sisters to be comfortable and fed and well? Do we long for it enough that we are uncomfortable under our blankets at night or eating our pancakes in the morning? Do we feel the hurt that God feels as He watches the body of Christ sit back and allow these precious children of his to perish? Maybe sometimes. But sometimes, we are too busy, or we forget, or hurting for our own children is enough. We are the body of Christ. We need to hurt. We need to react. Their needs to be the same urgency and panic and frustration and desperation as if these were our own children. They are God's children.

Heavenly Father,
Thank you for Angelina. Thank you for Grace. Thank you for creating them perfectly in your image, your precious, beloved children. Thank you for your beautiful plan for their lives and thank you for bringing them into mine. Thank you that they are YOURS. Help me to hurt. Not just a little, but the way you hurt when your children are overlooked and perishing. me to never be too busy or too comfortable to remember the people who suffer. Help me to never stop desiring to do something about it. Lord help us to remember that as the body of Christ, this is our responsibility. Thank you for loving us, even when we forget. I never, never want to forget again."

If you are not following Katie's blog, I invite you to start. She is an amazing woman. http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/

Do you see what I see...

A light.. A light.. shinning (not yet) so bright..

I think there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It will only be a short duration until the next tunnel, but I think I might catch a break on having to "work" over my use it or lose it vacation in the next couple of weeks. Yeah! Maybe I can restart up the work on the basement. Get those bunk beds for E1 and E2 built. Maybe I could catch up on tv. Oh oh OH!!! I know.. I could sleep. I have forgotten what that is like....

A new Classic?

This night, we pray
Our Lives, will show
This dream, he had
Each child, still knows

Amen to that!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cP26ndrmtg

For the first time..

For the first time since the 2009 Chicago Marathon on October 11th. I hit the path with my fearless training partner Tim. Because of the recent spat of tests, I was asked to stay away from all exercise. Given a clean bill of heath, with absolutely nothing found, it was time. I must admit I would have preferred a leisurely job. But Tim (not having 1 and 1/2 month layoff) kept the pace lively. I'm not what pace we race, but that 6 miles was a workout. I'm thrilled to be able to resume some exercise. Maybe I can burn off some of that pent up work stress.

Peace

btw. I've updated the Destination Addis.. we're on the home stretch. Less than 500 miles to go. that should be a snap..

Honey how was your day? Its wasnt so Good..

Traffic was bad.. they were out of my favorite Latte.. Someone cut me off.. that Guy/Gal at work was a pain.. I didn't get enough sleep.. that nagging cough is back.. My blackberry flaked out.. Gas prices jumped $0.25.. I was cold.. Some jerk bought the last snickers bar from the vending machine while i was waiting to get it.. The kids were fighting over watching Sponge Bob or Elmo.. the cat puked on the carpet.. the pile of leaves blew all over the lawn.. its snowed again so I have to shovel again.. My health insurance went up during open enrollment.. On black Friday i got shoved out of the way before I could grab the last Nintendo wii

We can all come up with a limitless number of other things to that list. They are all legitimate. They all impact us. Some greater, some only a little. In our world, those are the things, that make or break our days. We all deal. We all cope. But sometimes, at least I feel, we need an adjustment. We need a reminder about how to put it all into context. I'm not suggesting or advocating radical lifestyle changes here, rather, just trying to present a case for compassion. For a moment of understanding or empathy. A moment to pause, if only for one brief second, to step aside from those very real things listed above that impact our days. And to look beyond the walls of our homes.. our cities.. and our Country.

I had my reminder today (Thanks for sharing J!). I'd like to share it with you all. Perhaps you will also have a second to pause as well. If we think about changing the entire World, its overwhelming, to the point of why bothering. But if you think about that story about the little girl on the beach with her father. The story goes something like...

A Father and daughter were walking on the beach. The beach was filled with starfish that washed ashore from a storm. They would all surely die, being outside the water. The father watched as the daughter picked up a starfish, and walked up to the water and carefully placed it back in. She did this over and over and over. The Father, while filled with Pride for his daughter, comments. Honey. Why are you doing that? You are not going to make a difference, look at all those starfish. They are everywhere (as he motions to the thousands of starfish across the beach) As the Daughter picked up another starfish, carries it to the waters edge and places it into the water, the Daughter replies. "It made a difference to that one"

Amen I say to that. That's what I'm talking about. We can change the World. We can change it with each little baby step we take. I hope that following, First hand account of a Gentleman that recently returned from Western Africa, give you a moment of pause.

Today was full of emotional highs and lows. We started the day by going to an Orphanage. We had been warned it was bad. We had even seen some pictures. Pictures nor warning could have prepared us for what we saw. As you drive down a dirt side street there is a big green gate on the left. We stopped in front of it, stepped over the street side latrine and went thru the gate. When we went in there were several kids running around the path leading into the office area. There were no adults until we got to the office. All of the kids were curious to see what these people were doing there We visited with the 2 women who run the orphanage. There were probably 35-40 kids at the orphanage, 10-12 were under the age of 2. The remaining 65-70 were in school. We walked into the “nursery”, a large room with 10 or so bunk beds. Most of the kids under 2 were either sleeping or sitting in their bed crying. Few were able to walk at this age due to malnutrition. The girl I held stopped crying the minute I touched her. I held her and she snuggled in for a hug. She was probably 12 months and weighed at most 7 lbs. My wife noticed that the little girl I was holding was covered in feces, as was I now. For some reason it did not matter at that point. I gave her to one of the teenage girls who went to clean her up. I went and cleaned myself up and could not believe what I was seeing. How can 2 women, care for 10-12 infants, and 90+ other children? The answer is no one was getting cared for. At age 15-16 the kids are turned out to the street. So if they are lucky enough to survive no care as infants they will be homeless as teenagers. The bad part of this story is this is one of hundreds of orphanages just like this in this part of the world. The images I saw today will haunt me for a very long time. We are to visit 2 more orphanages in the coming days. They are not supposed to be in such desperate shape. In the storage room all they had was rice and a few beans, no formula, no baby food. There was no running water, no toilet, and no shower. The kids carried water from a well a few blocks away.

How is my day? You know. My day is not so bad. In fact, as i finish my plain turkey sandwich, at my desk at work, tired from lack of sleep. As I look over the pictures of J, E1, and E2 on the cubicles walls around me, you know my day is pretty darn good...

A minor hassle...

Hi, so anyone that reads this blog, or posts comments, or what have you. Because of some growing spam comments, I had to turn on the "word verification". If I did it correctly, I think that anonymous posters are still allowed, only that they will also need to enter in the words. Should anyone have trouble.. just let us know.
Peace.

Can it be..

Everyone knows that I'm an 80's music nut. I'll dabble in the 90's a bit. But I'd say pretty much all of the .. umm.. 00's? have been a bust. The music styles I just can stand. So what happens now as we are closing out the decade? I find myself listing to the top pop hits again. Except the people singing them could be my daughters or sons. How sad is that. The fact that I know who Miley Cyrus or the Killers, or Plain White T's, or Lady Gaga are.. I shake my head at myself. Maybe you can teach an old dog new tricks. So where do I go for my fix for tops hits.. Fresh 105.9 baby!
http://www.fresh1059.com/

Peace

Wisdom or Reading(s) of the Day..

or both.. As Catholics we are taught to not interpret individual passages of the Bible literally. But sometimes its not easy. If you are looking for discernment and direction. Perhaps just inspiration. It can be a small challenge to not look at a daily reading and think how does this apply to my life, how is this providing answers or Wisdom to my life or situation. Its along those lines that I smiles and scratched my head over (a section of) today's Gospel, and a portion of of Today's 1st reading

(1st) Reading of the Day...
Wisdom 2:23 - 3:9

God formed man to be imperishable;
the image of his own nature he made them.
But by the envy of the Devil, death entered the world,
and they who are in his possession experience it.

But the souls of the just are in the hand of God,
and no torment shall touch them.
They seemed, in the view of the foolish, to be dead;
and their passing away was thought an affliction
and their going forth from us, utter destruction.
But they are in peace.
For if before men, indeed, they be punished,
yet is their hope full of immortality;
Chastised a little, they shall be greatly blessed,
because God tried them
and found them worthy of himself.
As gold in the furnace, he proved them,
and as sacrificial offerings he took them to himself.

(Gospel) Reading of the Day...
Luke 17: 7-10

Who among you would say to your servant who has just come in from plowing or tending sheep in the field, 'Come here immediately and take your place at table'?

Would he not rather say to him, 'Prepare something for me to eat. Put on your apron and wait on me while I eat and drink. You may eat and drink when I am finished'?

Is he grateful to that servant because he did what was commanded?

So should it be with you. When you have done all you have been commanded, say, 'We are unprofitable servants; we have done what we were obliged to do.'

Peace

The Danger of a single story

A new attitude - on bended knee - a Reading of the day

Not sure how easy it will be. But I found myself getting ticked off on the way to work when I heard about an activist Judge that caved into to an ACLU request here in Illinois, and ordered on injunction on a new law. I'll not get into the hotbed about the law, but just one of the reasons the ACLU was behind stopping this law was "because the state is not in a position to enforce it".

Since when does "enforcement" or the readiness to enforce a law help to "compound the unconstitutionality" of a law. Gimme a break. But its the attitudes in my head that lead me to the Reading of the day.

Reading of the Day...
Roman 14:10-12

Why then do you judge your brother or sister?
Or you, why do you look down on your brother or sister?
For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of God;
for it is written:

As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bend before me,
and every tongue shall give praise to God.

So then each of us shall give an account of himself to God.

Why is this reading relevant to my activist judge story. Well I need to stop judging others and also getting worked up about it. My time on earth is wasted on that negative stuff. I have to learn to trust those folks will need to account for their actions. That Judge. That ACLU attorney. I gotta tell you. Trying to be less judgemental is not easy...

Peace

Tuesday Prose

Yikes, think I am going to stick with a Tuesday Prose in lieu of Monday Humor! So here we go, not sure who to give props to for the original version of this, but I thought it was soooo coool!

Being a Christian is like being a pumpkin. God lifts you up, takes you in, and washes all the dirt off of you. He opens you up and scoops out all the yucky stuff - including seeds of doubt, greed, etc. Then He carves you a new smiling face and puts his light inside you to shine for all the world to see.

You are like light for the whole world. Matthew 5:14

Coming Soon to a blog near you.. PEACE

The lively discussion on an earlier post sorta kickstarted, no that's not that accurate. Ah.. it helped to crystallize some disjoint ideas that have been floating around the old noggin' for awhile. Anyone that know me knows how one of my personal pet projects is Peace. Its closing emails or posts with the words "Peace". Its telling and wishing people (even if they cant hear me) that I pray for "Peace for them today and everyday". Its smiling at strangers. Its saying Good Morning to others even when it isnt a good morning for me. ...

I'm not pretending that I'm up for a Nobel prize or offering ideas, attitudes, or behaviors that will impact millions of our earths population. I'm not perfect. Far Far FAR from it. But in a world in which narcissism seems more fashionable than Charity (in any form), I've set to to attempt to change myself and hopefully be positively impactful along the way.

So.. while I collect these percolating thoughts over the next few days (unless work keeps my off it), I wanted to provide an early mention of the newest series on the blog. I've already got the "Reading of the Day", "Tales from the Backseat" and some others. Coming soon...

The Peace Manifesto..

stay tuned.. and always...
Peace

Little Monday Humor thanks to the Riggs Family

An Atheist in the Woods

An atheist was walking through the woods.

'What majestic trees!

'What powerful rivers!

'What beautiful animals!

He said to himself.As he was walking alongside the river,he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him..He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!'Time Stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. 'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?'The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian'?'Very well,' said the voice.The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed.

And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.'

Times are in..

3:46:27 was my official time at this years Chicago Marathon. I must admit that I'm pretty surprised. Not because it started off pretty darn cold. The temp at the race start was in the low 30's with a "feels like" temp in the 20s. I had no real time goal. Having missed close to 2 months of training I just wasn't as prepared this year. I went out trying to hold a pace a pit to fast, but I was pushing to try and help my training partner (who had put in the all the time). In the end I was also able to keep the pace.. and I PR'd. The 3:46:27 was about 6 minutes faster than last year. I'm quite pleased. Thanks for all your support and prayers.

Congrats to Ashley, Jennifer, Bonnie, Tim and Michael. You all had awesome times as well. Especially Jennifer. So you must be psyched! So is a Boston trip in the plan for next year!

Just give me one more night....

Says Phil Collins...
Me.. I'm feeling as good as I could hope to on the eve of the Chicago marathon. My 3rd. The race time weather looks to be 33 degrees with a "feels like" temperature of 27 degree. A dramatic departure over the past two years that had starting temps in the mid to high 70's that quickly climbed to the mid to high 80's. Instead of water and being cool. People will need to remember to drink water and will be trying to stay warm.

Should be a day to remember. OK, i suppose it will be a day to remember no matter what. Good Luck to you Bonnie, Tim, Ashley, and all those that are running tomorrow. And a shout out, no a rally cry out to all your Team World Vision runners!. We ARE changing the world. We are bringing life, bringing joy, bringing HOPE to Mutomo Kenya.

May you rest well this evening, and my Angels lighten your feet tomorrow.
Peace

Guardian Angels

Something that I heard last Friday that I've been meaning to post. I thought it was a pretty cool little prayer. Enjoy.

Novena Prayer to Your Guardian Angel

O Holy Angel, to whom God has given the care of my life, in His goodness and His tender love for my soul, and who assists me in all my wants and comforts me in all my trials, I return to you profound thanks.

I ask you, O Holy Angel, to continue your loving care and defense of me against the attacks of the devil.

Keep me away from all temptations. Obtain for me the grace of listening attentively to your inspirations and of following them faithfully.

I ask thee to obtain for me the favor which I ask for by this novena. Here silently mention your petition. Protect me in life and at the hour of death, and do not leave me until you have guided me safely into the presence of God in the mansions of Heaven.

Amen.

Peace

The last mile...

Or really the last 12 miles. We are now 8 days from the Chicago Marathon. Like the over 45,000 runners (gosh that's a big number), today was the last longer training run. The plan my training partner and I are on had us running an "easy" 12. Lately I feel that none of the training runs have been "easy". Next week is the last taper week. The plan call for a couple of "easy" 5's, and a very easy 3 on Friday. Beyond that, I'm looking to move into the 7 to 8 hours of sleep range. I recently shifted from the 3-4 to 6-7ish.

8 more days and we'll have the payoff. Keep me, but more importantly keep our Team World Vision cause, in your prayers. The 1200+ World Vision runners will be the largest single charity runners group this year. Running with a single purpose. To help those that are in need of help the most. To help those that cannot help themselves. To help heal, educate, an inspire them to become sufficient. To bring hope, to places were hope is often a luxury.

Its never to late. If you feel moved to help our cause, your support is very much appreciated. May you be Blessed even for considering supporting our cause.



Peace... Ted

Sunshine on my shoulders make me happy..

Maybe its unusual for a born and raised, meat and potatoes, Midwesterner to have an affinity for John Denver. I blame my parents. Ha! But there it is. Heck, My Mom even choose "Perhaps Love", a John Denver duet with Placido Domingo, as the song to Dance with me at my wedding.

The reason I bring this up is 4 years ago today, E1 stormed into our hearts, and to our joy, he firmly implanted himself in our lives. Today is E1's "Gotcha" Day. I think back before that day, on a visit trip that J and I made. One morning while having breakfast with E1 sleeping beside us, a song just came to mind. Its was one of those goofy Hallmark moments, but it stuck. And forevermore, when I hear that song it just takes me back to that moment. A Tiny sleeping E1, J and I barely able to eat our breakfast. Just staring at that wonderful little man, and the big goofy smiles he put on our faces. Rain or shine, E1 always bring the sunshine into my life, into our home. Thank you Lord for entrusting this Angel into our care.

Sunshine on my Shoulder - John Denver

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely
Sunshine almost always makes me high

If I had a day that I could give you
I'd give to you a day just like today
If I had a song that I could sing for you
I'd sing a song to make you feel this way

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely
Sunshine almost always makes me high

If I had a tale that I could tell you
I'd tell a tale sure to make you smile
If I had a wish that I could wish for you
I'd make a wish for sunshine all the while

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely
Sunshine almost always makes me high
Sunshine almost all the time makes me high
Sunshine almost always

Peace

Look at the birds in the sky...

Just a little perspective for the day.

Today's Reading of the Day...

Matthew 6:25-27
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat
(or drink), or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than
food and the body more than clothing?

Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing
into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important
than they?

Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?

Peace

Dont just clean it. Oxiclean it!

[Ted's personal infomercial testimonial]
So each (work) day for the past few years I make some coffee and fill up my thermos and bring it to work with me. I do my best, seriously, to clean the thermos and the coffee pot out, but nothing seems to get the coffee grime off the stainless steel. Baking soda. Vinegar. Dish soap. Soaking. I've tried quit a few things. I did a quick search on the wonderful world wide web (of answers) and found a suggestion about using Oxiclean. So I opted to try it out. Grabbed a small container at Walgreens. Put in a fair sized scoop, and some hot tap water, and prepared to wait a few hours.

Even Billy Mays would have been impressed. Within seconds, "stuff" was bubbling out of my thermos. Then it looked like a volcano of cappuccino (yes, as a frothy, coffee colored mess was coming out). A very Positive sign. The next morning I dumped out the thermos and the coffee pot.

WOW! I don't think either looked so clean, even when they were brand new. Without so much as a single scrub, or swirl or anything. All that coffee I couldn't scrub off before just vanished.

Thank you Oxiclean!

Its FUN again? well maybe just a little..

Just a quick note. Not sure mentioned it here before. But I used to always say running was not something I "loved" to do, but could do. You know the whole exercise thing. I did you to enjoy "getting away" during my runs. To alleviate stress and stuff like that. It dawned on me a few months back. I'm not having "fun" anymore. In fact, running became a chore. Perhaps I even resented trying to squeeze in time for it. I'm sure wicked working hours, and prolonged lack of sleep didn't help. But something unusual (at least for this year) happened on Saturday and today.

It sounds sadistic to say a 22 mile run was fun. But it I can say didn't suck either. And today I did 8x800's (pushing E2 around in the jogger) and I must say I actually enjoyed it.

It might be to late to salvage a good time at this years marathon, being only a couple weeks away and all, but I can be hopeful that maybe I'll enjoy it a bit more than I was anticipating.

Peace

1, 2, 3, 4, who are you looking four..

5, 6, 7, 8, who do we appreciate

20, 15, 22... what??

Ah, nothing like an early night sleep before a TWENTY TWO mile training run. Frankly, I'm thinking, if you any can finish a 22mile training run, whats an extra 4.2 for a full marathon. Well it will be good practice for me. with such little sleep this week, and a less than ideal diet this week, running 22 tomorrow morning should...

well I guess we will find out. So what are YOU doing tomorrow?

We're winning (so far)

I got word that Team World Vision is currently leading in the Chicago Marathon Bank of America "Digital Footprint" project. Its free, and Bank of America will donate $1 for every footprint created, and $10,000 to the charity with the most footprints. http://footprint.chicagomarathon.com/

So select Team World Vision when you create the footprint. Its a great cause. And its an easy way to help those in need of help the most.

Peace

Musings on a Wednesday

Which feels like it really should be Thursday given the shortened week last week, it seems like this week has gone on forever! I will note that this is the second time this week that I have forgotten my socks for field visits at work. The first time I wore my beat up old penny loafer without socks. As my long pants covered my shoes, I don't think anyone noticed but me. I ended up with some good blisters over that one. Then today again, I found myself sockless and realized, once again, I had a field meeting that involved some pretty good hiking through a field. Having forgotten the penny loafers also, my only option this time was to find something to put over my feet so I could use my hiking boots. Yes, you can use reusable produce bags as socks if you are desperate enough. They don't breathe very well, so expect some foot sweating and certainly, be sure to wash the bags before using them for produce again.

On another subject, I will admit to being a blog addict. I usually like to have at least 1 blog I am reading that involves a family in the throws of a paper pregnancy. I LOVE LOVE LOVE following along on that journey with another adoptive family. That being said, the family of the blog I was following just brought home their little girl. So I am now in need to another blog to follow :) . Any suggestions?

I admitted to T the other day (after we had had some discussions about a possible third child weeks prior), that even though I picture our home filled with more children, it must not be time yet. With E1 and E2 I felt this incredible draw to begin the paperwork and proceed forward with a certain agency, location, age and gender. And the end result was the adoption of our two beautiful sons that were truly born in our hearts. We have the most amazing family unit! I can't say that I am feeling anything close to that with a possible third adoption. So I guess we will have to wait and see. In my heart, I know our family is not yet complete. Its just a matter of being patient and waiting for that sign from above :)

I did my very best to help those in need...

It was intended as a motivational video for our team. Team World Vision. But I wanted to share if with you all, as it shows just what we are all doing it for. Its not for a medal when we cross the finish line. Its not for a life goal in which we can say "I ran a marathon". its bigger. Its "I ran a marathon FOR someone". By running this marathon for others, and doing my best to raise support, I helped to save a life, many lives in fact. In a very real place. Just look in google. I did.

Here are two satellite maps.

• http://www.maplandia.com/kenya/central/mutomo/
• http://maps.google.com/maps?q=Mutomo+kenya&oe=utf-8&client=firefox-a&ie=UTF8&hl=en&ll=-1.844698,38.208389&spn=0.269368,0.254059&t=h&z=12&iwloc=A
  

What we are doing this for? Just watch...


Peace

Why World Vision?

The 2009 Chicago Marathon, is just around the corner. With J and I posting to the blog more, we hope that traffic on the blog is picking up. Plus with the marathon approaching, that means the sponsorship window is closing. If we reached out to you, to consider a sponsorship donation, you might be wondering. Why World Vision? You might already have a favorite charity or cause you support. Why World Vision, whats special about them. Lets go straight to the horses mouth. Please check out: World Vision at a Glance

In a nutshell, World Vision is a Christian Humanitarian organization that seeks to raise Children, Families, and entire Communities from the desperate throws of poverty and injustice. Financial support and aid is helpful, but it well documented how foreign (financial) aid can lead to dependence by the very people you are trying to help.

As such World Vision seeks to lift those in need with a multi-pronged approach including Child sponsorship; Clean Water, Food Aid, HIV and AIDS prevention and care; Emergency Crises response; Humanitarian Crises response; Job/Skills development.

To put it simply. World Vision is not just giving a Man (or Child, or Community) a fish, to fill a need for a day. Rather they are teaching them to be fisherman, to fill a need for a lifetime.

Through prayer or sponsorship, Will you stand with us in making a difference?

Team World Vision Digital Footprint (Its FREE!)

We've gotten notifications from the Team Captains about a program for the upcoming 2009 Chicago Marathon. Bank of America (title sponsor) is creating digital footprints. You can go to this website:

http://footprint.chicagomarathon.com/

It will ask for a name, email, and a password. When the mock-up of the footprint comes up Please be sure to select "Team World Vision" within the "Choose a charity logo" and the "Choose a Charity to Receive $1 from Bank of America"

You too can make a difference, and this is easy (and FREE) way to help our cause.

Peace

Quick break.. Reading of the Day..

Raising up from the fray for a moment, I opted to go back and read yesterdays "Daily reading". For most Catholics, you've heard the reading. But wow. Its a good one. Jewish, Catholic, Hindu, Muslim, you name it. If the world reacted and respond in line with this reading, truly what a wonderful world it would be.

Its a shame that the bleeding liberals have hijacked society and go nuclear (not directed at you Kev going nuclear is a saying I use a lot) at even sniff of religion. Anyway... Today's reading of the day is from the Gospel of Luke, Chapter 6, versus 27-38

Reading of the Day...
Lk 6:27-38

Be merciful, just as also your Father is merciful.

“Stop judging and you will not be judged.
Stop condemning and you will not be condemned.
Forgive and you will be forgiven.
Give and gifts will be given to you;
a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and overflowing,
will be poured into your lap.
For the measure with which you measure
will in return be measured out to you.”

Peace

(truly.. and pay it forward, maybe we can change the world. if Chaos theory says a butterfly impacts storms on the other side of the globe. It could happen. Live, Breath, and most importantly ..share.. Peace)

So how does it end...

What was that from? And 80's video. So how does it end? So how does it end? So. How does it end?

This past Sunday, with the aid of my family cheering me on, and (truthfully) thinking about the World Vision Kids and families in need, I competed in the 2009 Half Madness 13.1. I woke up with a splitting migraine headache, and I was nauseous to boot. That was the closest I have come to thinking about not doing a race. But as this blog is called "Tri for Hope, Sacrifice with purpose" I trudged on.

In the days leading up to the race, I got a wild idea about trying to finish under 1 hr 45 minutes. Well off my PR, but no slouch of a goal considering my severe lack of training this season. Long story short, I came in a 1 hour 44 minutes and 10 seconds. So I officially have a qualifying time that can get me into Start Corral "C" in next years Chicago Marathon (I'm already in Corral "c" this year).

I won't mention names, but a giant CONGRATS!! to DT and AT the dynamic running duel from the West side. I looked for you guys pre/post race. I hope you enjoyed the experience. I know I enjoyed seeing your folks, Three times (yep that's right I caught you both on the wall at the start).

So the only event left is the Chicago Marathon. No official goals, except for the standing "under 4 hour goal". With some good weather and good fortune, there is a chance I could break 3:45, but I'm not ready to set myself up for that just yet.

How was your day?

Twas the night before race day...

And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
except for the dog, two cats, and mom watching tv

The Children were snuggled all tight in their beds
with visions of Papa panting, sweating, and RUNNING through their heads

And Mama in bed, with blanket pull high,
Me in my race cap, I exclaim "I'm a ready as I'll ever be.." as I
let out a sigh...

As we all settled down for a long (but not long enough) mid September sleep...

(Batavia Half marathon tomorrow. Good look and God speed to you all)

Splish Splash.. I almost had a crash...

My 2009 Chicago Triathlon is complete. Congrats to Tim and Brent (two newbies that had great races!). This was my third, possibly fourth Chicago Tri, and as with most things. Everything comes to an end, and this, in all likelihood, was almost my last.

I'll start by saying, I felt good. Felt rested. And was setup to have an enjoyable race. With the family battling a colds, and my work hours eating into sleep, just feeling good for the race was a huge feat. The weather started off quite nasty. Strong winds gusting out of the north. Air temps in the lows 60's without the wind. The water temp was 63. For those without wetsuits... Well, I salute you.

I tell people they should "Do Chicago" for the shear spectacle of it. And I stand by that. Unfortunately the spectacle got the best of me this time. You come to expect a certain amount of "slapping" or grabbing during the swim. That is just bound to happen with up to 150 people in a small space all trying to swim in a small channel. There are stories (I can personally attest to them) of people being "swam over". Literally, someone just ignores your body and swims over you. Not fun. Anyway, for the first 400meters or so I felt like i was just outright mugged. The clutching and grabbing was nasty. I was actually trying to forcible kick whoever was behind me to keep them off me. I never connected. Overall I felt pretty strong on the swim. But after the swim leg, my race was all but dashed. I discovered that my timing chip was ripped off during my "mugging". So I've go no official time. and I've got to pay $30 bucks for a lost chip to boot!

The bike was tough. Heading north in the gusty winds slowed even the best bikers. Southbound, that's another story. While the weaker riders were recovering from the tough northbound legs. I know I was able to reach speed over 30 mph on the downhills with the wind. My cycle computer was on the fritz so I couldn't often tell my speed. But I felt strong. Even heading North into the wind. I believe I still held a 20+ mph average. And I passed a TON of people. My 2nd southbound leg was where the remainder of my race just about went out the window. Some jerk on a $10,000+ bike with one of those $300 bike helmets that look like a turd in a wind tunnel forced me into evasive maneuvers. I then had to slam both brakes on to avoid colliding with a slower rider (I was going 30+ mph during the split second I looked). I started to fishtail and my bike was coming out from under me. My bike was now 90 degree the wrong direction skidding on the tires.. I unclipped my right foot just before I completely went down.. I sorta "surfed" on that foot. it was a heck of a noise with the bike shoe cleat skidding on the pavements as I tried to slow/brake myself and balance with that shoe as the rest of me got closer to wiping out. I remember thinking, Gosh this is gonna REALLY hurt, and is there a preferred what to wipe out on a bike to minimize broken bones, and boy I hope those people I passed are far enough bad to avoid hitting me while I'm down. God was watching over me, and somehow I got my balance enough to whip my bike 90 degree back.. and in a move from the Old west movies.. I sorta got back on at the same time.. some riders behind me exclaimed how they couldn't believe that I was able to recover. I responded with "Thanks for keeping an eye on me.. and not running me over..." I did my best to catch up to that jerk.. and believe me I was pumping the pedals like I never have before. Not sure what I would have done in my "bike rage" mode.. but I never did catch up. Probably a good thing, in hindsight. After that, the race was somewhat less exciting.

I had a really great run. No jello legs after a strong bike leg. I don't know what my pace was on the run since i didn't get timed. I'm sure that it was sub 8 minutes. But whether it approached a 7:30 pace I dunno. I was thrilled to see J, E1, E2, and my sister in Law on the run course. Thanks guys! you helped to turn what was a pretty miserable race that was worth forgetting, into something good in which I could just enjoy the moment.

In all, my unofficial time (from my watch) was 2 hours 39 minutes. That about 4+ minutes better than in 2006, and about 9 minutes slower than in 2007 (that was my hard core year where most of my PRs were set). In the end, I'm very pleased to have completed the race unharmed. I've got some interesting stories as well. I hold out a little hope that by me "yelling" out my bib number to the timekeepers (and they either nodded or responding with "i got it") that maybe I'll have some sort of time show up on the website, but nothing yet.

But at the end of the day, I can feel comfortable in saying I'm done with the "spectacle". There are other Olympic distance Tri's in the area. I'll consider them next year instead.

So how did you spend your Sunday?

Our Big Little Man

E1 started his new preschool this week. T has mentioned a few times that he seems a bit different this week. I had not noticed anything until last night. At school, they have been talking about how God is Love. Last night at dinner, E1 said "I love your heart". It was so sweet. That was just after he helped us all wash our hands before dinner including his little brother. I have been amazed by the work he is bringing home, a heart colored all in the lines and 2 blue birds colored amazingly well with his name printed above. I have never seen much more than scribbling in the past from him. Most nights at dinner, it would be like wrestling to get him to tell us anything about his day. Last night he chatted almost the entire time talking about lunch, playtime, activities and the other kids. He adores his new teacher and strikes up a conversation with her the second we walk in the room in the morning. I imagine we are in the honeymoon stage of the new school stuff, but right now, I am pretty blown away with what I am seeing.

ZZZzzz...

The Chicago Triathlon is just 5 short days away. I was asked "Are you ready?" I"m as ready as a person averaging less than 5 hours of sleep a night, who's swimming, biking, AND running training has slacked off as well. I'm feeling healthy, so we'll throw everything the Lords provides me at it. On a fun spectator note, it sounds like J, E1, E2 and Aunt K will be there to cheer on Team World Vision. COOL!

It just dawned on my, I never posted pictures from the Copperman Triathlon. I'll have to dig those out.

Peace

Zoom zoom

Delivery of the new "5" was earlier than expected. Rather than Monday, it arrived on late Friday, so I picked up the families new "Stormy Blue" on Saturday. The old Salsa Red 05 Prius served us very well. Who can forget the Ostrich and Bison drool from the family camping trip. Or E1 "washing" the car with a handful or rocks, or E1 "polishing" the hood of the car with a brass grill scraper. Ahh the memories!

The pickup was not without angst or anxiety as the dealership made the transaction dependent on me signing a "Contingency waiver". Basically stated if the government or the dealer screw up the cash-4-clunker that the car could go back to the dealer, the sale made void, or I could owe the $4500. There are some Internet posts that seem to indicate that such a practice is not allowed, however without regulation or enforcement, it seems that dealers are doing just about anything they want with this program. So its a bit of pins-n-needles wondering if something could go wrong. Though I'm sure everything will be fine.

Beyond the car, the family had a BUZZING day Sunday. I think J will be posted about that soon...

Peace

The end and the new beginning

Well, today is a big day for E1, after 4 years at his daycare, this will be his last day. He has a lot of good friends there and we have gotten to know so many wonderful families through it (very little turn over so he is with many of the kids since he was a baby!). After some orientation tonight and tomorrow, he will offically begin a new school (big boy school as he calls it). He brought some school bus cookies to share with his friends today and made little bags of goodies for all of them making sure they all have his phone number for any play dates...of course. So far, I don't think it has really hit him yet. I will be interesting to see how he does over the next few days once he is actually at the new school and the change starts to sink in. We knew the school we chose had a great reputation but have recieved a lot of very positive comments about the education and curriculum over the last few days, so that reinforces to me even more that we made a good decision to try this school out for the year.

On a funny note, E1 has been on a 'when I get bigger' kick lately. Something new for him and always funny. Yesterday, it was 'when I get bigger, I am going to have a motorcycle'. Oh great says mom! I think I at least convinced him that it is important to wear a helmet or else you end up like what.....E1 say a squished marshmallow (he is obsessed with the marshmallow man in Ghostbusters and rarely a day goes by that he isn't scared of him...probably should have waited awhile to show him that movie). What's E2 up to, you ask? He is presently obsessed with shoes and can never decide which pair to wear when he is not trying to wear mine, T's or E1's that are WAY too big. Beyond that he has started picking up "hotties" at the car dealers we are going to and trying to get them to go for a ride with him in one of the new convertable Miata's. Such a little guy to have so much 'tude! (photo credit to www.mazdausa.com)

Zoom Zoom.. splat.. Zoom..

Car buying stinks. Especially in a climate where legit buyers are at the mercy of scandalous Car dealers. Cash for clunkers has created (in my view) an artificial "sellers market". Dealers no longer have to wheel and deal or bargain. They just claim "this car is hot" or they've got waiting lists for car. Of course the waiting list is because there is no inventory. Sure sure. Supply and Demand. Most manufacturers cut production in early 2009. But that just created an artificial "lack of supply" increasing demand. But cash for clunkers and the American people are not really getting any deal. Not when the American people are paying more for the cars because of the lack of supply, and dealers inflating prices and withholding incentives. Bitter. Sure. Jaded. Probably. Feeling good about having a new car arriving on Monday. Should be, but feeling like you just got hosed is the more pronounced current feeling.

Zoom Zoom. Deal fell through at the (new) Mazda dealer since they were not going to get the "Clunker" certification soon enough. We had a pretty good deal on hold there. Splat. That deal then went south. Went to plan B with another dealer. Had to pay a bit more. Got less on the trade in. Didn't get the throw-ins. That dealer withheld incentive. So for that, only half a Zoom.

That was our Tuesday!

Are you kidding me????

It is unbelievable that the folks at Costco would possibly fathom that this would be acceptable and it would actual take a customer finding the doll in the store to point it out to them. Two thumbs down Costco.

They grow up so fast dont they...

J and I are still new parents. But that doesn't mean that all the cliches are lost on us, or that we don't hear them. Today was my "Last Monday" with E1. The last "Day with Dad". Of course for the past year its been E1 and E2 with Dad on Mondays. Why is it the last day? 5 day, all day preschool starts next Monday. I tried my best to cram a lifetime of fun into today, but rain showers, then heat, and frankly two tired boys and a worn out (from the Children's museum) Dad sorta cut into that plan. In honesty, I'm sure the "day" was more for me than for E1. It unfair to compare (and I am not suggesting they are the same) but I can recall the first time I dropped Fezzik (the family dog) off at the kennel. He was still a pup. I still swear to this day he looked at me as if to say "Where are you going? Why am I in this strange place, and why are you walking away without me". It just breaks the heart strings. At least it does for this sentimental ..almost 40.. smuck. I don't want to think about next Monday right now. Hopefully by then I'll recognize the opportunity I spending my
Day with Dad" just with E2.

What did you do with your Monday..
Peace

Ka-Boom!

The Ka-Boom never came. After a full (quite exhausting) day of car shopping yesterday, the family finally got to the pool party/picnic about 6pm. Only 4 hours late. Mama and Papa needed to relax. Car dealer. Car (snake-oil) salesman. Numerous call to numerous dealers to find cars that just aren't there. E1 and E2 getting on the fritz. It was kinda rough. In the end, we think we've got a car, its at a new dealer, that just opened yesterday, but they aren't registered for cash-for-clunkers yet. So everything (the final sale) is on hold until that comes through. Hopefully in the next couple of days.

So what better way to relieve all that pent up stress and anxiety ? Beside a hot tub, a pool, and fun with friends. how about getting up a 5am to go run 18 miles. WHO'S WITH ME! Anyone? Bueller? Its was moderate when I started, but after sunup, the humidity came out. I must say though, this 18 miles went immensely better than the 14 last week. I did get a mild headache, but I'm trying something now. Pumping myself full of caffeine to keep the blood thinner. Maybe that's helping.. or maybe Its just getting me wired.. I dunno (ok that's a job, I drink enough coffee already that caffeine doesnt really get me wired anymore).

So what did you do with you sunday? Many exciting this to come in the next few days. Stay tuned.

Peace

Lets Rondo on the 5 you clunker!

After the recent trip to the UP, it seems that while we just got it tuned up, the family minivan is not deemed reliable enough for long distance trips. Its older, that grey goose. Sounds like the muffler is falling off. Hey here's a great idea. Let's "cash for clunker" it!

Sounds great, but where is the rest of the $$ coming for a new minivan. We'll trade in the Prius. GASP! I think I choked up and re swallowed the days lunch. The most fuel efficient car in the US, traded in? Then the quote came out. "You always said you dont care what you drive". Eee-gads! she's got me.

So we looked at "micro vans" as opposed to minivans. There really only two out there. The Mazda 5 and the Kia Rondo. We've checked out the Rondo. Not a bad car, at least not the one we drove. Underpowered, but it will probably get us to were we want to go. Biggest thing, is its got that 3rd row for when (rather than ..if..) #3 comes along. We're driving the Mazda5 on Saturday. We'll see how it goes. While the Prius is only 4 years old. Apparently its depreciated more (a lot more) than we thought. Despite being fully loaded (with navigation system) the trade in values and Carmax values are about $4k lower than we thought.

Stay tuned to our car saga...

Zoom Zoom

Things to do while its Hot..

When its Hot and Steamy, Humid and Miserable, Without AC and not much of a breeze. What do you do. What sounds like fun?

How about driving downtown for a 1.5mile swim. Thats refreshing. Except there was a slight breeze and while there were no whitecaps, there were some mild swells which made swimming an undulating experience.

How about running 14 miles in blistering humidity, despite being overcast. The kinda heat and humidity where you can great drenched just walking, much less trying to get in a 14 miles training run.

Perhaps you'd rather enjoy a nice exercise induced migraine that lasted about 15 hours from early stupidity (like swimming and running downtown, without much breakfast, and evidently not enough hydration).

I know. I'm sure its a favorite "Hot and Humid" activity of you all. Going to Home Depot to by 5/8 inch drywall (that's the really heavy stuff) so you can spend the entire day in your hot garage hanging and taping drywall. Of course not before having removed everything from the garage, including de-installing the existing hanging cabinets, only to have your drywall hanging FUN interrupted by an unexpected (at least to me) rain storm, such that all the "garage stuff" started to get soaked.

To be fair, I'm not really complaining. You take the good and the bad. The drywall needed to be done. And hopefully tomorrow I can wash my hands of it once I get the paneling and the cabinet rehung. The poor training runs have left me thinking that all the late "work" nights are having a significant impact on my ability to run longer distances. And plus, that was that kinda soul that shared some of her freezer pops with my friend Dave and I as we were on about mile 13 of the run. Freezer pop while hot on humid. Dang! that was the best freezer pop in the world...

So how did you spend you wicked hot and humid days...

Lifebook No 2 - Complete!

Well, E2 has been home for just over a year and I finally completed his lifebook (story of his adoption). For E1's lifebook, I used headshots of all the family and adoption agency people and the Sizik cutting system to make basically bobble head people. I wrote the story out then hand stamped the words. Though I love E1's book and am very happy with the results, the stamping was time consuming and there was no way to make sure all the words fit on one page, so there are several sentences that continue on the following page which is annoying when you are reading it. I am including a page from E1's book with this post so you can get an idea what it looks like. I have really enjoyed reading it to him and I think he really likes seeing the pictures of his Madre, grandparents, himself and mom and dad.

E2's book was a tougher nut to crack, while I knew that I wanted to type the words, I have never scrapbooked electronically before. I started months before with a title page that described him as a grown man traveling back to the town in which he was born and speaks to the sights and sounds of the town. After that page, I was pretty much lost. My friends suggested a book call the "The House that Jack Built", that I might be able to use that as a base and twist it into the adoption story. I wrote the whole thing out....this is the town that E2 was born in the Country of Ethiopia, this is the lady that took care of E2 in the town where he was born, in the Country of Ethiopia....etc. When I was finished, I totally hated it. A few months past and I found myself in the bowels of the "Change I Can't Control" (see post below), somewhere in my wallering in self pity, loathing, spiteful, negative attitude, I started to write E2's adoption story. Combined with my drive to do something meaningful and my melancholy, I just couldn't stop writing. Now normally, I am in bed by 9:15, but I found that I just couldn't stop and pushed the clock each night beyond 11:00. It is finished, through all the chaos of the last few months, I am REALLY really, happy with the result and hope that E2 will treasure it as he grows up. I haven't figured out how to post a picture of one of the pages as it was created in word and I can't convert it to a jpeg, but here is the basic setup. There is a full size pictures on the left side of each facing page with words laid over the picture that read "My mom and dad tell me I am XXXXXXXX", (i.e. blessed, prayed for, loved...etc), the facing page on the right describes in more detail his adoption story and why he is blessed, prayed for, loved, etc. with additional photos to help tell the story. I can't wait to read it to him.

Much Needed Get Away

Well the Great Grey Goose flew its way 1200 miles to the great white north and back for its second camping trip. This time, it landed safely back home without a major break down in the middle of the north woods cell-phone vacuum more commonly known as the "I can't hear you now" area. E1, not to be outdone by his puking, diarrhea brother from the previous weekend's camping disaster, peed all over dad in their sleeping bag, lamented about bear attacks and proved that there are nude beaches in the UP, well, at least in his mind!

Even with the sketchy weather, it was still an amazing and relaxing weekend. Pa Pa did great in his race and E1 made some great new friends. The boys had fun on the playground with grandma and grandpa and enjoyed taking in the local sites. We even had a Chivice style Mahi-Mahi with coconut-pineapple rice and dill green beans, cooked over an open fire, on Sunday night in honor of my brother and his fiancee who are getting married in Hawaii this week.

Still working on talking Pa Pa into a road trip next year for a different triathalon in the area that wouldn't conflict with the culture camp we like to go to, otherwise it might be another 2 years before we head that way again which seems like FOREVER!

Change I Control vs Change Out of Control

I was quite proud of myself as my 2009 resolution was to embark on some massive changes in the "business as usual" trap we all tend to find ourselves in once our routines are established. I marked this new way of thinking by changing grocery stores which resulted in a significant reduction in my weekly grocery bill, rethinking some of the house work and what was important, and breaking ties with all my "extra" curricular activities that were occupying much of my "free" time with little or no reward. Mid 2009, I was relishing in my success and the positive changes that I had made when it seemed the ball I had started rolling down the hill had taken off on its own. While I had made controlled decisions in the changes I made during the first part of the year, changes clearly out of my control began to snowball. Though some of the changes were seemingly small, they all managed to shake the little biosphere where I live my day to day life and combined have really pulled the rug out from under me. Neighbors we have know for 10 years moving, both our priests leaving, realizing that my age and lack of exercise is really creeping up on me, being rear ended, re-defining an assistance schedule that would have helped countless people, loosing a work associate that I relied heavily upon, redefining seemingly stable relationships. Even something as simple as a camping trip seems born of chaos and out of my control at this point. My capacity for embracing change has really reached its limit. Change, whether by my initiation or out of my control has touched every facet of my life at this point. Looking ahead, it looks to me that this change is marking more of the beginning than an end.

Forgivness

I have been thinking a lot about what forgiveness means to me lately and found this interesting post by Jake Lawson on Livestrong.com, you can read the rest of Jake's post on Livestrong.

What is forgiving and forgetting in a relationship?
1. Forgiving is allowing another person to be human for faults, mistakes or misdeeds. Forgetting is putting these behind you; they are no longer brought up and no longer remain a barrier to your relationship.
2. Forgiving is letting another know that there is no grudge, hard feelings or animosity for any wrongdoing. Forgetting is the lack of further discussion, with no ongoing negative references to the event.
3. Forgiving is letting the other person know that you accept as genuine the remorse and sorrow for actions or words that hurt or disappointed you. Forgetting is promising that this deed, whether of omission or commission, will not be brought up again.
4. Forgiving is accepting the sincerity of penance, sorrow and regret expressed over a grievous personal offense; making it sufficient to clear the air. Forgetting is your commitment to let go of anger, hurt and pain over this offense.
5. Forgiving is giving a sign that a person's explanation or acceptance of blame for a destructive, hurtful or painful act is fully accepted. Forgetting is the development of a plan of action between the two of you to heal the scars resulting from the behavior.
6. Forgiving is the highest form of human behavior that can be shown to another person. It means being vulnerable to being hurt or offended in the future, yet setting aside this in order to reopen and heal the channels of communication. Forgetting is is also a noble human behavior; it is letting go of the need to seek revenge for past offenses.
7. Forgiving is the act of love between you and a person who has hurt you; the bandage that holds the wound together long enough to heal. Forgetting is also an act of love; in rehabilitation therapy, helping the wounded return to a full and functional life.
8. Forgiving is the God-like gift of spiritually connecting with others, touching their hearts to calm the fear of rejection, quiet the sense of failure and lighten the burden of guilt. Forgetting is the God-like gift of spiritually touching others' hearts with the reassurance of a happy and full life with no fear of recrimination.
9. Forgiving is the act of letting go of temporary ill will, disappointment or the disgust that arises from the break in your relationship. Forgetting is bridging this gap in the relationship, eventually strengthening it against such a break in the future.
10. Forgiving is an act of compassion, humanity and gentleness by which you let another know that he is indeed a child of the universe upon whom a variety of graces and blessings have been showered and that current or past offenses need not be a barrier to goodness. Forgetting is the act of encouragement, support and reinforcement by which you assist the other person to rebuild, reconnect and re-establish a loving, caring, healthy relationship with you and the world.

While I like to imagine I live by these rules, that is probably not the case in all instances. When I look back at one of the deepest hurts in my life that involved the publishing of an untrue story about my ethics in the local newspaper by a fellow associate, I reacted with a deep hurt and anger. In the end, I chose to forgive the person. In doing so, it was like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. At that point, it became clear the burden that a situation like that could have become on me. As our AWESOME new priest quotes a Nigerian saying "If you hold someone to the ground, you are holding yourself to the ground". If you do not truly forgive someone, you carry that burden with you just as they do.

Return of the Silent Blogger

"The essence of passion is an engagement and willingness to change. There is little honor in holding back, limiting participation, accepting mediocrity, and finding comfort in the status quo. With passion, we engage our soul and our being in this work, along with our mind and our body. With passion, we reclaim our hope and belief in the possibility of a future devoid of racial injustice–a future governed by equity and anti-racism. With passion, we survive the conflict, the lack of support, and the passive resistance that comes with challenging institutionalized racism in our schools. And with passion, we will have the strength not only to stand up for what is right for our children, but to what is right for them as well."–Singleton and Linton, Courageous Conversations about Race.

I thought this was a fitting quote (borrowed from one of my other blogger friend's posts) to begin my return to the world of bloggers. Over the past several months, I have hid with my pen and paper-blog taken confort in the fact that I alone would be the only reader and I alone would be the one to express opinions on what I wrote until I realized that does nothing in the grand scheme of things.

I liken my attempts at anti-racism to a toddler trying to ride a two wheel bike, unsteady, unsure and prone to a few disasterous crashes. I readily admit that I have and will continue to make mistakes. But at the same time, I will continue to learn and with each attempt, become better at expressing myself and my thoughts on racial related topics. I agree with the quote above in that there is little honor in accepting status quo and would certainly be disappointed in myself if I started to choose to say nothing rather than attempting something.

Just a day at the beach..

The day started off, wicked humid, dripping, soaking after about 10 minutes of running humid. Trying to get back on track with a few weeks of lost training, I went out for a slow, controlled 13.1 miles. It took me quite awhile with the humidity, and a number of walking breaks. It felt good to get done though. What better way (following an ice bath of course), to finish off the day than a day at the beach with the family.

We headed a bit south to hang out with our Guatemala family friends. The weather was nice. We water was refreshing. E1 and E2 had a blast. So much so they wiped themselves out. Both were asleep within minutes of heading home.

I hope you all had a great day. Our prayers are with you..
Peace

Time flies

Wow.. time flies.. whether you are having fun or not having fun. As I'm engulfed in another late night work session, it dawned on my that just about everything has preoccupied my time to such an extend that I've forgotten about the blog all together.

What new? Some interesting family discussions between J and I. But nothing to share here. Ha! Its been wicked hot, and without AC in the hot, tempers have been a bit short in everyone (including the kids). I've been getting about 3-4 hours of sleep regularly during the week. Just not enough time to clear the work plate during the daylight hours. I did have a short break and helped make and serve food for the Knight of Columbus as Swedish Days.

Exercise is been a disappointment. With such little sleep, I've been dragging a bit and the running/swimming/biking have gone by the wayside. As a result of that, late night snacking, I've managed, unfortunately, to add more than a few pounds. So today, July 8Th, I'm gonna try and break some of those cycles and work in some more exercise, and move towards some better eating.

Beyond that.. things a good. The family is still adjusting to the lose of BOTH the Priests at our church. They were E1's favorites. So we'll have to get use to the two new guys (so new, don't know both their names)

Hope your summer is going well. God Bless..

Can't say I was the biggest fan..

I can't say I was the biggest fan of Michael Jackson, it might be stretching to say that I was even a fan. I like a few songs, but wouldn't really go out of my way to hear to many of them. Maybe to borrow a baseball term, I guess you could say I was a fair weather fan. When I heard Billie Jean, or maybe some of the tracks on Thriller I'd fondly recall some days of my youth. Of course more recently I re-discovered "Man in the Mirror". What a great track. Love him or hate him for his personal life, the man was flat out gifted. Very rare are such artists who have the musical talents he did. He did make a change.. How about you? So close with the chorus from "Man in the Mirror"

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change)

Peace